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I've been seeing this girl for a while who happens to be bipolar. We both like each other a lot but she doesnt want to bring me down with her. A few days ago we agreed to go out, then the next day she said we cant anymore because once again she doesnt want to bring me down with her. I like her a lot and only want to help, I understand that the mood swings cant be helped much by other people. I've read up a little on this. I've been through a lot of **** lately, and this would only help me and I dont give a damn where she brings me. I know the real kind of person she is and I love it. She although lately hasnt had any mood swings. What do you think I should do?

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Im not sure how old you are? What is a while????

What is it about her that makes you want to be with her so badly????

Im really not sure what her reason is. How old is she??? How old are you??

I would look at the fact that she says she doesn't want to go out with you. Do you want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you?

I am/have been in this situation and it seems that nothing is going to change how she feels. Definetly NOT you! She is going to have to get either diff. med's or find a counseler.

I have read alot about bi-polar disorder/depression and it seems that relationships are very, very, hard to sustain. So... if you want to put that much effort in than be my guest...

If you like her that much....just stand back a bit... make sure you like her and figure it out!!

 

hope this helps a little

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We've been talking for about 3 weeks and have hooked up twice, nothing big. I am 15 and she is 17. The age difference pisses me off because I'm very mature and I am judged by her parents and friends because of my age. It seems she doesnt care about that though. She admitted she likes me a lot as well but doesnt want to "scar" me or whatever. I think I might stick around for a while more. Lately she showed me some articles on bipolars, I guess as a warning. It really is a shame because nothing should get in the way of this, although it probably will end up in failure. I dont know because lately things have been getting better for her. She got a new doctor, got off a few medicines that the a**h*** doctor put her on. Still bipolar though :(

 

Why I want her so badly, she's different than a lot of girls. She is smart and not all freaky drama about everything, which isnt common in girls my age. Seems like a happy girl, good sense of humor and everything - yet she has element. Many-a people agree we would be good for each other, ya know. Not that that means anything, I feel that if I give up on this other girls wont seem as great.

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It's been my experience just as having a friend who is Bi Polar that they can sometimes require a lot of patience and energy out of a person. Although, my friend may have had other problems too....I was cool with him for a while, til I just couldn't take it anymore. He wasn't on his meds....and we hadn't been friends long enough I guess for me to endure his wacky spells. I thought I'd just share my experience with a bi polar. But if they are on their meds they are usually ok.

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  • 1 month later...

A word of advice to you thats a little bit better than what youve been hearing. Simply, dont paint a brush over people. Not all people with bipolar are the same. Most people who dont have it constantly stigmatize it (even the people in the industry or the families) or paint a brush over everyone.

 

I date someone with it and she is the most wonderful person I know. There are plenty of bipolar people who have never touched drugs, dont drink, have good grades, and just had bad things happen to them that were out of their control. Be careful reading posts that refer to people as "a bipolar". These posters do nothing more than stereotype people. Bipolar people have more to their identity than this unfortunate illness that isnt their fault. You dont hear people referring to people woith cancer as "a cancer" or "an ALS person" for someone with Lou Gehrigs, etc. This is only what these people do when they cast their brush over thse people and its dangerous. If people talked this way about people that have other illnesses , and treated those people that way, this world would have been through years ago.

 

As long as she takes responsibility for her life, appreciates your company, and truly likes you, it seems like something worthwhile. If she isgoing to waste your time by saying that she doesnt want to do this or that...walk away till she is able to decide one way or the other. But I can tell you one thing---though most people 99%---of the folks on the internet do nothing but trash people with bipolar--and spout how awful all their relationships are---the reality is that some of the most incredible people alive are bipolar and there are a few decent people out there that dont stigmatize them and see them for what they are.

 

Ive known other people who have had successful relationships with people ( both having a boyfriend with bipolar and having a girlfriend with bipolar examples) and they had very good relationships. So not all the stuff you read applies to everyone. Heck Winston Churchill and Abraham Lincoln and Robin Williams and Emily Dickinson and hundreds of other incredible people have had it---unfortunately in todays society, you are a rare person who has a heart and sees people for what they are and doesnt stigmatize them or humiliate them or degrade them. But it is up to her and her CHOICE if she wants to do something or not. She needs to decide that.

 

If she met the right person---trust me---she'd say it--bipolar or no bipolar---people with this are like anybody else---when they find someone that they are amazingly attracted to...eg "the one". their problem doesnt get in the way. Support, distraction, goals, and love are even more important than medication. Medication for them is no panacea---their are relapses. Its the folks who have the significant others--the love---and that take responsibility for themselves and pay attention to their daily rythyms and manner of living and sleep that do well. Dont be insulted if you dont rock her boat....not everyone is meant for everyone. If not, its time to move on.

 

That doesnt make you a bad person. You are better than 99% of the other folks out there trust me. You are beyond rare in this infested world of ours. You have a blind heart. That is what every human being should have. But have it and pay attention and be smart at the same time. That IS possible. Be you---but understand the realities if someone pushes you away. Good luck.

 

By the way, my gf gave me 7 lists off the internet of bipolar people and it shocked me. You might find looking on the net at those sites to be rather informative. I just found out that she was bipolar and have just finished my own weeks of exploring the subject.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Thanks so much for your post! I have bipolar disorder and have a loving and supportive husband. It truly makes a difference to have someone who believes in you and does not stigmatize you and write you off because of it. People like you are a great asset. It sounds like the girl mentioned in the original post has low self-esteem and thinks she is "defective" because of her bipolar and that's sad. Hopefully she will get help and mature and grow to accept herself.

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