Girlfriend depressed

[Unclescam777]

Ok, my girlfriend has been very very depressed lately and i really want to help her. You see, she thinks she is fat and whenever she looks in the mirror she cries. I do my best to compliment her and to me she is beautiful but she doesn't see that. Now, I wont deny the fact that she does carry some extra pounds, but i am still incredibly attracted to her and i really believe she is pretty, but she doesn't believe me. So here is where things get tricky:

 

I can't help her go on a diet because she is addicted to food...literally. If she isnt eating she sits there shaking and getting pissed off. Last night she sat by the window and got really mad because the pizza guy was 15 minutes late. Its so saddening to see her like this and i really want to help her but i dont know what to do since she cant diet without shaking and such. I was thinking about getting her a personal trainer for V-day but they take a big chunk of money, plus she works nearly everyday.

 

So please someone tell me how to help her. Cheering her up at this point is probably impossible so I need to figure out a way to help her lose weight. Liposuction maybe? But thats dangerous...

 

Anyway, I just want to help her gain some self esteem and lose weight but i dont know how since she cant diet.

 

 

PS. I'd post this is the weight forum but it is pretty much dead, plus this post relates to helping my girlfriend, which is a dating topic

[Tony T]

Liposuction wouldn't get rid of her longing for food and she would quickly gain the weight back.

 

If she shakes because the pizza man is late, she has a very serious disorder. And pizza is one of the most fattening foods there is to boot.

 

You may not be able to go on a diet with her but you can join a gym with her, you can run with her, you can walk with her, etc. Brisk aerobic activity has the effect of actually lowering the appetite for food. There is also medication that lowers appetite and desire...be sure the doctor gives her a safe one.

 

Your girlfriend is in a potentially disastrous situation in that she's headed for obesity. At that time, she will lose you and put herself at risk for a number of horrible diseases such as heart, diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, etc. as well as become at much higher risk for premature death.

 

She clearly requires medical intervention at this point. If you can get her to a psychiatrist...or even a medical doctor (who's likely to refer her to a psychiatrist) that would be great. I say psychiatrist because they can prescribe medications. However, even if you can just get her to a mental health councellor or psychologist, that would be a good thing as well.

 

She is absolutely addicted, as you say, and will destroy her life totally if you don't very discretely and with the greatest of kindness get her the help she needs. Her situation is critical. I also promise you....I don't care how much you love her....if this behavior continues your love for her will wane over time. There is simply no way you can admire this malady and love it in somebody.

[yavin9]

Hi there, I have a similar situation but not so severe. The addiction to food isn't there. Yes she likes to eat, but it's a 'normal likes to eat', whatever that means. She has had eating disorders far in the past so that does worry me somewhat.

 

I love her, and find her incredibly beautiful and attractive and tell her so. I just want her to be happy. She has a very negative self image right now. But me telling her this isn't going to change her self-image. She needs to loose some weight to feel happy, unless I'm missing something I'm not saying or doing.

 

Another problem is that I have a higher metabolism than her, and I don't gain weight easily. Also she feels very guilty going running with me since our stride lengths are so different she feels she's 'holding me back', when in reality we really are at the same level of aerobic fitness and all I've got going for me is a lanky frame and an extra foot of height.

 

I think going to a gym would be great because than we don't have to have the same pace and she wouldn't feel guilty. Unfortuneatly until we move closer to work (in a couple of months) there just isn't the time during the week to do that.

 

Any ideas? I've been feeling like a total failure lately in this regard.

[Pookette]

I think at one point or another, every woman feels as if she is not skinny enough. For some people, it is more serious than others. I agree with Tony that medical intervention is needed for the girl in the first post here.

 

Whatever you do, don't let them get hooked on the dieting pills that are out there. Most of them contain ephedrine and caffeine and God knows what else. A legal form of speed and/or methamphetamines, basically. Yikes. If the doctor can prescribe something safe then that would be the best route to go if it comes down to it.

 

Going to the gym is a great idea. I'd love to do it myself if I had the time or money. Walking, running, dancing, even house cleaning is good for exercise and it's FREE!!! Woo hoo!! I don't know where you're from, but around here alot of schools and shopping centers have a certain time every day or week where the public can use the facilities like the weight room or just walk around the halls/concourses.

 

Most of all, be supportive. Both of you guys sound like you are, but don't get fed up or give up on them. If she has a great chest or a Jennifer Lopez bum, take her shopping for clothes that will draw attention to her assets. No matter what, shopping ALWAYS makes me feel better!!

[Kidd Seuss]

[color=darkred]Well, the Alcoholics Anonymous guidelines of the 12 Steps have reached out even to food. Look up Overeaters Anonymous and see if you can't find a local chapter. I believe they may even be able to do a sponsership thing where she can call someone who's been there and recovered from such a sickness. But, no matter how great of a guy you are, she's going to need help that you can't offer. Just be supportive of her and continue to tell her how you feel. I can think of no better medicine. But you are on your own on figuring out a way of mentioning that to her without hurting her feelings.

 

Drew [/color]