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feeling insecure/being crazy/reason for feeling anxious


pandagirl

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Stlil dating J. Been almost two months and maybe 10 dates (started losing track.) Still haven't slept with him, but we engage in "other" stuff. haha.

 

Anyway, I've been going with the flow and having a good time until recently. We see each other about once a week, due to us being out of town a lot, but I really need this to step up to start to nurture a connection with him.

 

This weekend is the first weekend we've both been in town since we started dating. We saw each other on Wednesday, and the date ended relatively early (10:30), but he made it a point to say: "Don't worry, we can hangout later and spend more time this weekend."

 

Good. Right?

 

But as I was starting to plan my weekend, I decided to go to the beach with my friends on Saturday. So I let him know that, and said Friday night would be better for me for our date. He ended up being really sick on Friday, so we didn't see each other.

 

Today, I did go to the beach, but what was expected to be a day long affair was cut short because of weather. So I texted him saying: "Beach day got cut short. You feeling better?" He replied saying: "Yes, so much better! Yesterday was awful." I replied by saying: "If you feel up for it, I'll be out later if you want to meet up."

 

That was four hours ago.

 

I just feel weird that he had been making it a point since LAST week that we'd both be in town this weekend, which never happens. Now I feel like he's blown me off.

 

So, back to the title of this thread: am I being insecure, crazy, or have a legitimate reason to feel weird about this.

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I think you really like the guy, and you want him to call you back. Nothing weird about that. I hope he does!

 

Also: don't pussyfoot around. Tell him: "I WANT to see you."

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Island Girl

You messaged him and said "if you're up for it" and he just may not be.

 

Relax. I 'm sure he'll call you.

 

And you must be fair. As another poster pointed out you told him originally that Saturday isn't good for you - so he may have made other plans and he may just feel better enough to see those through.

That doesn't mean he didn't want to see you. He just may have made prior plans.

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I guess my issue is with this language

 

I replied by saying: "If you feel up for it, I'll be out later if you want to meet up."

 

because it's very vague and ambiguous and doesn't really let him know that you want to see him. Someone told me on my thread that the reason the girl I asked out didn't call me back is that I asked her to go out "sometime next week," and that she'd be more inclined to respond had I said, "Let's hang out next Tuesday night" or something.

 

I suspect your situation is along those lines. The more specific the question, the more info you can get from the other person about how they feel about you. If they like you, the answer is usually yes. No excuses or BS, just a plain ol' "Yeah, I'd love to!"

 

If they don't, it's something like "Well, I'm busy" or "maybe next time," etc. The point is, maybe he's not even sure of the way you feel about him? :oIDK.

 

10 dates is a long time - why no sex yet?

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I guess my issue is with this language

 

 

 

because it's very vague and ambiguous and doesn't really let him know that you want to see him. Someone told me on my thread that the reason the girl I asked out didn't call me back is that I asked her to go out "sometime next week," and that she'd be more inclined to respond had I said, "Let's hang out next Tuesday night" or something.

 

I suspect your situation is along those lines. The more specific the question, the more info you can get from the other person about how they feel about you. If they like you, the answer is usually yes. No excuses or BS, just a plain ol' "Yeah, I'd love to!"

 

If they don't, it's something like "Well, I'm busy" or "maybe next time," etc. The point is, maybe he's not even sure of the way you feel about him? :oIDK.

 

10 dates is a long time - why no sex yet?

 

I get what you are saying. I think I was just more disappointed that this is that first time in two months we were both in town over the weekend, and we didn't see each other.

 

As for the sex thing. I want to have sex with him; and we are intimate in other ways but, there are a few reasons. 1) he won't sleepover and I don't feel comfortable having sex with someone who won't do that. 2) we only see each other once a week, as our schedules allow, which isn't enough for me to build enough intimacy to have sex. 3) we haven't had the exclusive talk yet.

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1) he won't sleepover and I don't feel comfortable having sex with someone who won't do that. 2) we only see each other once a week, as our schedules allow, which isn't enough for me to build enough intimacy to have sex. 3) we haven't had the exclusive talk yet.

 

OK, these are all valid reasons IMO. I'd be especially concerned with #1. What's his deal? Sleeping over can be awesome!

 

Oh, and I guess #3 is a big deal, too. :cool:

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