kassy Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Ok so I'm organising a trip away - it's just for one night - and there is 25 of us going. One of the guys going I have only met once at golf but we got on really well and I'm quite interested. We email a little bit and stuff I get the feeling he is also relatively interested. Anyway, It's going to be a big night out when we are away. I am interested in him... but I don't know him so assuming he was also interested and we did have a bit of a kiss, how do you say no I'm not going back to your hotel room with you in a way that still lets him know that I wouldn't mind seeing him again and see how things go? I don't want to be a cock tease and I don't want to make him think I'm not interested at all... and the line between the two would be pretty thin me thinks. Any suggestions welcome - I'm useless at all this stuff Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
lora22 Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 I don't think it's a fine line at all. If you're not ready to sleep with someone, you're not ready, and it's not your job to get him off just because he gets turned on! He can go bust a nut all on his own Happens all the time! I think if you make out with him, he'll figure out that you're interested in him. If he's not a total scumbag, he'll respect you and your decision (probably more?) for not taking it further at this point in your "relationship." Link to post Share on other sites
gopher Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 As a guy, I agree with Lora. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 You just say " I like you but I'm not ready to have sex with you". See how easy that was. Don't start worrying about pleasing him and whether he will run if you don't. If he runs let him go since it will show that he only wanted sex anyway. You shouldn't be having sex in a casual way with him anyway with no committment for a r from him. If you give your sex away that's all you'll get in return. If you like this guy in a r kind of way, hold onto to your goodies as long as you can and until you knows that he really likes you for YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kassy Posted July 3, 2009 Author Share Posted July 3, 2009 I agree with you all, I don't have sex with someone straight away anyway, but it's when they say they weren't expecting me to have sex with them, them but just stay over anyway that I either get persuaded or put my foot in my mouth - he's very smart and a very good talker which is a dangerous combination I's just rather not go there with someone I didn't know pretty well - and I don't know him at the moment hardly at all. Not that I think there's anything wrong with him haha Link to post Share on other sites
lora22 Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I agree with you all, I don't have sex with someone straight away anyway, but it's when they say they weren't expecting me to have sex with them, them but just stay over anyway that I either get persuaded or put my foot in my mouth - he's very smart and a very good talker which is a dangerous combination Sounds like you're a smart girl - you know you don't want to have sex with him (yet at least), and you know that you're going to "give in" if you say no and he asks you to "stay over anyways." So, if that happens and he asks you to stay over, just say no. It's pretty easy. He'll still know you like him, and like I said, if he's not a complete scumbag he'll respect that. Its just rather not go there with someone I didn't know pretty well So don't. Link to post Share on other sites
lora22 Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't put yourself in a position where you know you'll have a hard time sticking with your "no." Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I'm a bit worried by this post! What previous experiences/friends/advice/etc do you base this concern on?-that kissing a guy whilst you are both staying in the same location might lead to sex, or lead to a situation where you feel the onus is on you not to be a cock tease!?? A kiss is a kiss, and that's it. There shouldn't be ANY immediate assumptions being made here by anybody that this could in any way construe you as a tease or that a 'stayover' together is assumed. Do you have particular concerns about this guy, i.e. is he pushy? If he is then I'd avoid him because he's likely only interested in one thing. And if you like a guy and aren't ready for sex, hell, make him wait. He'sll respect you more for it and more importantly, YOU'LL respect you more for it. Just sounds to me like the pressure is coming from somewhere for you to become physical quickly...don't conform to that type of stuff...a kiss is just a kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
ratingsguy Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I can't speak for every man alive, but if a woman if willing to sleep with me after just meeting them, I know immediately that they are NOT relationship material. Seems like Dating 101. A little patience will go a long way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kassy Posted July 3, 2009 Author Share Posted July 3, 2009 Hey I agree with your posts - just needed a bit of reconfirmation. The thing is I'm an expat living in Asia and it's a bit of a different world here - lots of people with high flying jobs, lots of money, lots of alcohol and everyone is pretty transient. It's a bit like university for grownups. Not to mention the local girls... (not all of them, obviously!) And that honestly isn't to say that the guys are pushy or whatever - but it's just a bit different to the sort of dating norms that I'm used to. He seems like a cool guy and well should the situation actually ever arise then I'll just say no I'm off to my bed, alone. And if he is decent then he won't have any problem with that. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Just be honest with him! Tell him you do like him but make sure he knows you're not going to hop into the sack with him. Fooling around can be just as fun and it doesn't always have to lead to sex. Link to post Share on other sites
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