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Who are the apha-men?


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Could you please explain me who the alpha-men are?

What are their characterictics?

 

Women, do you have any experiences of dating them?

Do you like them and dating them?

 

Men, does anyone consider yourself to be an alpha men?

Men, what do you think about them?

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My partner is a classic Alpha male.

he - and these are his words - 'creates a bow-wave' in company.

He's not backward in coming forward, is training to be a Law lecturer, and could handle himself in any physical confrontation because he spent three years as a Military Police officer.

He doesn't suffer fools gladly, and is quite closed when it comes to expressing his emotions.

He's intellectual and thirsty for knowledge.

he has his faults - but who doesn't?

He has narcissistic/egotistic qualities that people have had difficulty coping with.

Whilst life may not always be easy, and the ride might be bumpy, it's never, but never dull.

And whilst I know he'd take a bullet for me, if we were to break up, and go No Contact - he'd never, ever break it.

 

That's -an Alpha male.

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On a personal level, men I like and respect are alphamales to me - but I don't necessarily expect others to share my opinion. On a wider scale, the men I've encountered who I and other people regard as alphamales are usually extremely rich and extremely pleasant socially.

 

I'm not just saying the "pleasant" bit in a futile attempt to promote nice guys as finishing last. They've been nice because they've been in a social environment and there's no reason for them to embarrass themselves by behaving in anything other than a well-socialised manner. I've no idea what they're like at home when there's nobody other than family around - but socially at least, they know how to conduct themselves.

 

I think the whole "*******s are attractive to women" thing is fodder for men who are fixated on the lifestyles of celebrities.....many of whom are just walking freakshows who wouldn't be welcome anywhere if it weren't for their looks, cash and celeb appeal. Perhaps I'm a traditionalist, but I still associate "alphamale" with the image of a man in a grey suit. The mandarins of the Civil Service. The shadowy figures who work for M16. The advisers to royalty. The ultra-rich who sensibly maintain a low profile.

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To me it is a male who lives as he pleases, and cares for who he pleases, without worrying whether or not anyone else is impressed with it.

An alpha male can show affection for a woman and not care if other guys think he is soft.

An alpha male doesn't wonder if he is alpha or alpha enough.

He certainly doesn't read books or go to sites so he can assure himself that he is an alpha enough alpha male.

He doesn't need other people to stand down or hold back so he can continue to feel like a man.

He doesn't waste his time worrying about that crap - he is too busy being the guy everyone turns too to get their problems resolved.

They turn to him because he is constant and honorable.

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Men, does anyone consider yourself to be an alpha men?

Men, what do you think about them?

Outside of LS, in the real world of men I exist in, I've never heard the term used or discussed.

 

As the term seems to vary as widely in definition as the people who offer an explanation, I really have no opinion. I see men simply as compatible or incompatible. I don't generally worry about what they think of me. Life is too short and adventures too many :)

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MusicChick24

To me when I think of Alpha-male I think of everytime I go on vacation there is always some guy who is showing off to get a girl's attention, and if that girl is already taken, her boyfriend will stand up and probably start a fight. Both men in this case are alpha males, it has become a competition. Not all men want to fight, my boyfriend in that case would probably just walk off because he knows I'm not interested in outside advances, because he isn't an alpha male.

 

That is my opinion.

 

I'm not, nor have I ever been attracted to the alpha male type. They have positive characteristics and are often more self assured with themselves, but I do not like there sometimes "showy" nature. I don't want to be in public and have two guys fighting over me. To some women that would be fun, but to me it just causes too much of a ruckus.

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SoulSearch_CO
Outside of LS, in the real world of men I exist in, I've never heard the term used or discussed.

TOTALLY. This cultural reference is not something I've really dealt with outside of this board. I mean, I have HEARD of it (but more in reference to dogs), but never when women have been talking about men. IMO, it's just another meaningless stereotype - used to put people in boxes.

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Trialbyfire

Alpha-male characteristics:

  • Confident, with high self-esteem.
  • Like Popeye, "I ams who I ams". ;)

And yes, that's the kind of man I've always preferred and most often, dated. My man is one, hands down. :love::)

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Citizen Drawn

How people love to put themselves and others in these little boxes as it makes them think they've got a handle on the world. What one person defines as an alpha box, another one will disagree with. You'll only get a definitive answer from an anthropologist. The answers here are subject to state your worth on an internet forum distortion. An anthropologist might have something to say about that type of postruring as well.

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butcher's hook

Players are the Alphamales. They come on strong know just the right things to say and do and then once they get what they want the truth comes out.

 

No thank you very much!

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How people love to put themselves and others in these little boxes as it makes them think they've got a handle on the world. What one person defines as an alpha box, another one will disagree with. You'll only get a definitive answer from an anthropologist. The answers here are subject to state your worth on an internet forum distortion. An anthropologist might have something to say about that type of postruring as well.

 

Something along the lines of "The human is a gregarious animal. It enjoys exchanging ideas with other humans. What does and doesn't constitute an alphamale is one of the many topics that humans will form a group to discuss. New arrivals often have to work extra hard to gain attention from an established group. Some will do this by attempting to bond with certain group members they believe they will either have a special affinity, or are liable to develop hostilities, with (the bonding being an attempt to circumvent such hostilities).

 

Some new arrivals will, however, use the "criticise and antagonise the group" approach to mark their new presence. This can be an effective method of garnering attention for the new member. The downside is that the rest of the group may form a first impression of the new member being "a bit of a dick". This increases the new member's sense of anger and frustration, as well as tapping into the latent fears of rejection that it deals with by "rejecting the group before the group rejects me". It is usually downhill from that point on, unless the new member shows some remarkable capacity - eg an interesting sense of humour, or the ability to take what they dish out in good part.

 

Often, the new member will encounter petty attacks in the form of their typos being highlighted (common where the new member is attempting to assert themselves intellectually). These should be ignored.

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Citizen Drawn
Something along the lines of "The human is a gregarious animal. It enjoys exchanging ideas with other humans. What does and doesn't constitute an alphamale is one of the many topics that humans will form a group to discuss. New arrivals often have to work extra hard to gain attention from an established group. Some will do this by attempting to bond with certain group members they believe they will either have a special affinity, or are liable to develop hostilities, with (the bonding being an attempt to circumvent such hostilities).

 

Some new arrivals will, however, use the "criticise and antagonise the group" approach to mark their new presence. This can be an effective method of garnering attention for the new member. The downside is that the rest of the group may form a first impression of the new member being "a bit of a dick". This increases the new member's sense of anger and frustration, as well as tapping into the latent fears of rejection that it deals with by "rejecting the group before the group rejects me". It is usually downhill from that point on, unless the new member shows some remarkable capacity - eg an interesting sense of humour, or the ability to take what they dish out in good part.

 

Often, the new member will encounter petty attacks in the form of their typos being highlighted (common where the new member is attempting to assert themselves intellectually). These should be ignored.

 

There's a "group" here? Well at around 3 posts a month i wouldn't know, nor care. I wouldn't bond with poeople I don't know, I think you only need to look at your post as to understand why it makes no sense to put energy into random strangers when they're prepared to out the ugly side of their character on a whim without thinking too much about it. Try not to post in anger, it's no good for you.

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There's a "group" here? Well at around 3 posts a month i wouldn't know, nor care. I wouldn't bond with poeople I don't know, I think you only need to look at your post as to understand why it makes no sense to put energy into random strangers when they're prepared to out the ugly side of their character on a whim without thinking too much about it. Try not to post in anger, it's no good for you.

 

It is usually downhill from that point on, unless the new member shows some remarkable capacity - eg an interesting sense of humour, or the ability to take what they dish out in good part.

 

Have a nice slide.

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Citizen Drawn
Have a nice slide.

 

You do know this is cyberspace and not a small rural town where people are dependent upon each other right?

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Regarding the Alpha Male stereotype (because I think thats all it is)...

 

I think it is one of a dominate male, maybe aggressive professionally or in sports or even outgoing socially.

 

But to me, an Alpha Male - an in charge kind of guy - is often the result of simply being a Gentleman, with all that goes with that. Success seems to follow that.

 

Leaders are often Alpha Males but if it isnt mixed with the charm of being a Gentlaman...they are often just blow hards and bullies.

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You do know this is cyberspace and not a small rural town where people are dependent upon each other right?

 

No, I didn't know that. As far as I was aware, you and I were sitting in a small meadow together, throwing daisies at eachother and musing over whether to debate alphaleness over lunch in the bakery or in Mrs McVertie's tearoom.

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No, I didn't know that. As far as I was aware, you and I were sitting in a small meadow together, throwing daisies at eachother and musing over whether to debate alphaleness over lunch in the bakery or in Mrs McVertie's tearoom.

 

:lmao::lmao:

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Citizen Drawn
No, I didn't know that. As far as I was aware, you and I were sitting in a small meadow together, throwing daisies at eachother and musing over whether to debate alphaleness over lunch in the bakery or in Mrs McVertie's tearoom.

 

Actually I thought you were treating this more like a sunday church meeting, where people need to politelty introduce themselves to the group and dress appropriately.Actually I can quite happily envisage you there, sneering at someone elses taste in high heels.

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And then what is the opposite of an Alpha Male...not the Beta, which would be more of a "team member" type...something lower...lower...ahhhh...the Bottom Feeder. Often this type of guy , because he prefers to be his sole company...imagines he is above the crowd when he reality he is looking up. Obvious to everyone but him.

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Actually I thought you were treating this more like a sunday church meeting, where people need to politelty introduce themselves to the group and dress appropriately.Actually I can quite happily envisage you there, sneering at someone elses taste in high heels.

 

I might laugh at you, but I would never laugh at your shoes.

 

On topic, is this thread annoying you because you dislike the notion of alphamales? Surely every gregarious species has a fairly evident hierarchy. It's just life.

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Often this type of guy , because he prefers to be his sole company...imagines he is above the crowd when he reality he is looking up. Obvious to everyone but him.

 

In the animal world, the pack leader must be wary of the solitary male, as he is an unknown quantity and has no inhibitions predicated upon the social pecking order of the pack and no social anxiety about failing in his quest to dominate, because he cares less than a pack member who must reintegrate in the case of failure.

 

IMO, such is the basis for male's intrinsic solitary nature; they might appear to be networking but it is merely superficial. Underneath, there is a wary competitive nature. Rarely do they truly let down their guard, though women will rally to say their man does, with them. Well, women aren't the only ones with a deep ocean of secrets ;)

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I know this isnt the right thread, but I confess that this conversation has gone way over my head. I swim best in shallow water.

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I swim best in shallow water.

 

You made me think of LandShark. Does an alpha male do well out of his element? Or is it only via guile and deceit? ;)

 

In reference to the original, ala SNL.....

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