MitchRapp Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Hey guys, been a few months since I've been here, I'm not really a regular but I like to come here when I need some advice. As a side note, my last visit to the forums several months ago is going great, I'm completely over my ex and it's just fine, no contact for about 6 months now Anyway, onto the current situation. I'm a college student and as part of my process of getting over my ex, I joined a fraternity. It was something that I had wanted to do for a while but never could do while she was in the picture. I'm a sophomore. I've become really great, if not best, friends with my big bro and his girlfriend. They've been dating for 3 years and have the most perfect relationship that you could ever imagine, I mean the chemistry between them is almost sickening haha. I spend a lot of time with both of them together, and the three of us will go out and do things and hang out. Now for the rest...of the story. I knew the moment I met this girl back in January that I liked her a lot. In fact, when we went on formal a few months ago...my date and I and my big bro and his gf all shared the same room. My date passed out and my big bro was in another room and I ended up sleeping in the bed with his gf (no sex or anything just actual sleep to clarify). In my druken state I apparently told her about how I had asked around to see if she was going out with anyone (before I knew her bf and all) and that I liked her a lot. Again, this was several months ago and neither of us have really brought it up since. We're still great friends and we hang out all the time. Everytime I'm with this girl, I can't help but picture me with her. She doesn't make it easy either because she really sends all of the signals that she's into me. For example, she'll get up if her bf does something stupid and come sit next to me, very close to me, touching even, when there are plenty of other seats available. She looks right at me when we talk and smiles and plays with and earing or watch or something, the whole fidgeting thing. She's also always throwing out there about how "oh you should come out to the lake house" or "so when can I come out to your place?" I mean she says it and is like "I'm serious" but we're always with her bf and she ends up playing it off as a group event or something after he jokes around about her cheating with me or something and gives her a big kiss (Bleh! lol) She's invited me up to her place and all, I've never been because I've been so busy. She makes these comments like when her and her bf get married and grow old, if he dies she's going to marry me, or today for example, the three of us were by the pool and she was reading her bf and me cosmo magazine's 100 sex tips...and was like "(bf), if you ever told me that you still liked you ex...I would say goodbye and date (MitchRapp) wink smile all that jazz...and all of this just really confuses on how to proceed. Her and her bf have this great relationship and if I'm not mistaken it's her first relationship and his second. But if she was single I would definitely have asked her out by now because she sends all the signals that she likes me. She's not the flirty type and this doesn't happen with other people, and she's not a skank or anything...honors student straight A's, conservative dress, etc. What do I do here? Please help! Both of these people are my best friends but eventually something is going to happen because I'm pretty sure that she likes me but doesn't want to break up with him because there isn't anything wrong with their relationship that would necessitate them breakin up... Link to post Share on other sites
EddieN Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 If you respect your friend, don't do anything with her. Think about what might happen if they break up and you go for her. You're gonna spend the next year or two with this guy. How miserable will it be if you start seeing his ex-gf? Or worse, if their breakup is BECAUSE of you? Don't take the stuff she says too seriously. I'm very good friends with both my friend and his gf. His girlfriend will make comments like, "(bf), if you did that to me then I'd definitely cheat on you too with Eddie." We all laugh and don't look into it any deeper, because it ISN'T anything deeper. Part of being such good friends with people is being able to bring up stuff like that without people getting insecure or sensitive over it. I can relate to you a bit as this cute girl I know who has always been a bit flirty with me recently broke up with her boyfriend. Usually I'd get right on that, but I like her boyfriend A LOT. The first encounter I ever had with him was when he cooled me down at a party when I was drunk and ready to fight some guy and his cronies. Not even knowing me he talked me out of it and was a good friend that night. How could I possibly start seeing his ex-girlfriend after he was such a cool guy? But that situation is much different, as they're broken up. Even if your friend and his girlfriend break up on their own, I still don't think it's worth pursuing if you want to keep your friendship. Even if he gives you permission to date her, I'd bet deep down he would really resent both you and her for it. So my advice? Find another girl. It's really easy to get one girl off your mind when another comes in. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 I'm not saying she's skanky, but it's a big no no to have a boyfriend and send another man signals. It's a big no no moving in on your friends gf, but let's say..they break up..even better, he ends the relationship and says he's just not into her. You two start dating, would it not bother you knowing she has no qualms about sending these signals and being suggestive with another man while she's comitted? Link to post Share on other sites
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