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How do I not be jealous of the "baby mama"??

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Old 6th June 2009, 6:59 PM   #1
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How do I not be jealous of the "baby mama"??

This seems like a feat only to be attained by the exceptionally strong of heart. My bf and i have been together for 9 months. 10 months ago we both broke up with our exes. Only I am 22 and have no kids (nor do i want any, any time soon) and he is 27 with a 4yr old boy and 1 yr old girl. His ex moved to PA, and he sees his kids every weekend. They dont fight, and id rather keep it like that, but tomorrow he is going to PA to see his son because he wont see him for a month, then the son will be with him all summer. Tomorrow he is going to be hanging out with his childrens' mother and his children- having a nice family day in the park or something rosy to that effect. Meanwhile i have been dreading this day and am extremely uncomfortable with this , because she wants him back and tells him and asks are his sexual needs being met and she knows of me. He tells me shes not for him and he has no interest in her what so ever. I dont want to be the gf bitching and moaning that hes hanging out with the baby mama for the kids sake, yet im extremely jealous and cant help but to get an attitude everytime i think about it. The guy so far is perfect, cooks cleans, treats me like gold. Yet tomorrow i feel like tellin him to just stay over there. Shes not going anywhere for at least the next 18 yrs im sure, i dont want to lose him , but i just cant take this constant contact with the ex, i feel like its his p*ssy in a glass if you will. I would feel duped if he were messing around with her behind my back, but ill go crazy just wondering and not bringing it up to him, then again i dont want to interfere with this...head is spinning for the last week now ... thats y i joined this site...ANY thoughts are appreciated.
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Old 6th June 2009, 7:07 PM   #2
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You have two options:
1) be the bigger person and let him interact with his ex for the sake of his kids

2) break up with him and find someone with no kids

do you trust him?
"It's time to stop acting like a victim and start finding some".

- Bobsacramento
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Old 6th June 2009, 7:21 PM   #3
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I have a baby daddy...two in fact...and I wouldn't want to have anything to do with either one of them anymore.

We still keep in contact for our kids and my exH is still in love with me or at least he seems to be but he is not for me.

My other baby daddy is in the process of divorcing. He asked our son if I was seeing anyone. OMG. Nope don't want him either.

If I wanted to be with them I wouldn't have broken it off. I'm guessing the same goes for your BF. Stop worrying. It's really unnecessary.

If anything they are getting together for their kids. So that their kids see that they get along. He's a good daddy. He may think she's a good mommy. But if he wanted to be with her he would be.

He isn't. He's with you.

Splitting up a family is something I'm sure he took time to think about before doing it. Give the guy some credit to know what he wants and what he doesn't want.

When kids are involved you take extra care to examine the relationship before you end it. It obviously didn't work for him. So believe him when he tells you that.
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Old 7th June 2009, 2:40 PM   #4
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I was/am in that position (long story, he's playng games or needs space or what)...its one of those things that WILL never change, there will always be a p[art of him that only she will see, unless you guys have kids together. If you want to be with him, rise above it, keep the moral high ground. I did, I accepted him, kids and all, and I'm only 22. But if you can't...get out before you meet the kids etc, otherwise it'll screw them up.
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