ohdear Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Hey everybody. I'm currently dating a wonderful guy. He is the most wonderful guy I have ever been with BUT he takes drugs, methcathinone. My problem is that although he is cutting down, I am still very worried about it. I have said to him not to take it when I'm around, and he doesn't. My problem is when he goes out with his friends, he does take it and it bothers me. I find myself at home worrying. He said he can't stop all at once since he's been doing it for a while. Also, we can't go out like a normal couple since when he drinks, he craves and it becomes an unpleasant battle. I really love him and I want things to work though so I'm not sure I want to leave him. What should I do? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 As I see it, you have one choice: you draw a line in the sand, he either does what he needs to or he doesnt, and you have to walk. You dont quit addictions like that slowly. It doesnt work, ask one of the 45342345321 smokers who are 'quitting' while buying a pack a day. People that say they are quitting are really just making excuses to get you off their back. You tell him that you love him, and want this to work, but he needs to quit that stuff 100%. You'll be there for him during the early days when life sucks, but he needs to do this for himself and the relationship. If he cant completely give it up NOW, then you have to go, because you dont want to date someone who you have to worry about, cant go out drinking with, and is ok with being an addict. You either draw a line and stick to it, or he'll be doing this forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Spade Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 As I see it, you have one choice: you draw a line in the sand, he either does what he needs to or he doesnt, and you have to walk. You dont quit addictions like that slowly. It doesnt work, ask one of the 45342345321 smokers who are 'quitting' while buying a pack a day. People that say they are quitting are really just making excuses to get you off their back. You tell him that you love him, and want this to work, but he needs to quit that stuff 100%. You'll be there for him during the early days when life sucks, but he needs to do this for himself and the relationship. If he cant completely give it up NOW, then you have to go, because you dont want to date someone who you have to worry about, cant go out drinking with, and is ok with being an addict. You either draw a line and stick to it, or he'll be doing this forever. Listen to this here guy. Addiction can only be overcome abruptly, and then it is a constant vigilance not to relapse, at least for a year or two, after the actual quitting. I've never done serious drugs, but I've struggled with alcohol problems, and I can testify that I've found out for sure (though the hard way...), that once you have a problem, the ONLY way to deal with this is an immediate, abrupt and permanent stop of consumption of whatever substance you're talking about. There are many ways to do it (i deeply dislike the AA fags and did it all on my own, but I understand that it works for some). The point is that any rationalization for any continued use under any form is simply a denial of the problem. The good news is that once you realise this - it really, really sinks in - abstaining is actually pretty easy (after you get past the physical withdrawal symptoms, which admittedly can be severe for some substances).. Link to post Share on other sites
refurb Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 I think the OP needs to understand that things will likely not change. For a person to quit taking drugs they have to WANT to quit. It doesn't sound like he feels that way. So you need to ask yourself, are you willing to date a drug user? RF Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts