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Not invested...


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Emotionally that is....Has anyone dated someone, liked them, but because of uncertainty of where things stood, didn't emotionally invest in the 'relationship' due to the fear of being hurt?

 

I want to qualify this by saying, this is in the very beginning stage of a relationship....

 

My tendency in the past is to get attached too quickly, and now I find myself waiting and seeing...

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missdependant

That's good....

 

Waiting and seeing won't hurt you as much as growing attached too fast IF anything does happen.

 

Save the emotional investment for a few months down the road IMO.

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Trialbyfire

Dating is a funny, little mirror dance, where you each make moves.

 

There's also only a small window of opportunity to make the right moves. When someone makes the wrong moves, it sets off the alarm bells, where they can be anywhere from a low level hum, up to the five alarm fire.

 

If two people mirror each others' moves, naturally, with no games, it continues to be a fun dance. If one person is doing the cha-cha and the other, the waltz, or stepping on each other toes, you can pretty much write it off as going nowhere fast.

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  • Author

Thanks for the replies...and TBF, a dance eh....interesting concept.

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I agree it is a bit of a dance. I also agree as to not get invented too soon and wait and see as the dance progresses :)

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I feel like I'm doing this now. Normally I'd meet a new man and want the relationship thing to happen right away and I need to know where I stand and I do fall hard and fast and let the emotions I have run free.

 

The man I'm dating now has been very honest with me when he told me he isn't ready for anything to serious b/c he was recently hurt. So I have to learn to take it slower and not invest to much of my heart with him yet.

 

At first it was hard for me,but it's become easier and actually feels really good. Healthy too! Relationships don't need to be rushed.

 

I'm quite happy right now and do have strong feelings for him but am controlling them a little bit.

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