I'm at artist guy's place and i want to leave!!!

[xpaperxcutx]

Tonight's date was horrible. I went out with V guy and he came on so strongly that I wanted to puke. I met him at 8 but left at exactly 10 making an early excuse to get out of his company but I ended up meeting artist guy instead.

 

Does this make me a terrible person? Knowing fully well I'm merely a booty call, but I still ended up calling him and meeting him out for drinks. I don't know what came over me, but being in an alcohol induced state, I wound back at his place, and after 30 minutes of foreplay, and supposed intimacy, artist guy is now asleep. And I'm very much alone. My phone battery has died, and I'm typing this secretly on his computer hoping he won't wake up.

[era]

I've never heard of "supposed intimacy" before...

[JustLooking123]

It was your choice. By making said choice, you are saying that you are okay with the situation. One guy came on too strong, and you left him and turned to another guy who used you for sex(ish). Yeah?

[SoulSearch_CO]

I'm drunk as hell right now. (and yes, can still spell and type - I'm VERY anal about spelling/grammar. If I have to backspace and retype fifty times, I will do it to get it perfect. Ugh, how frustrating) And even I say - RUN like hell. Get out of there. Grab all your ****, and get OUT. I wouldn't even leave a note.

[Sam Spade]

Ditch the skinny fag and come make sweet love to uncle Sam . He gan go a full hour before falling asleep. True story.

[SoulSearch_CO]

I've never heard of "supposed intimacy" before...

Meaning false intimacy. Should be some level of emotional connection, but as there is none, there was no TRUE intimacy. Just sex. "Into Me See," Intimacy. haha

[carhill]

Does this make me a terrible person?

 

Terrible? No

 

Confused? Yep

 

I think it's time to push back from these guys and square yourself up. That's what dad would say (I hope)

[xpaperxcutx]

I knew that calling and meeting up with artist guy was a bad idea, I just can't imagine why I'm even feeling like this. I knew full well that I was going to wound up in bed with him, but in all actuality I just didn't want to go home.

 

My date tonight was actually really terrible. V guy just kept trying to hug me and force kiss me that I wanted to scream. But calling artist guy afterwards did gave me some relief. Because I really realized that I do like him. I'm stupid, and I know how you all think that I should just stop being a pawn for him, but I enjoy his company.

 

The lounge was really small, but I had wanted to get drunk. We started being really silly, but one thing he said keeps repeating in my head. He told me that he told his guy friend I was his girlfriend? What the hell was that suppose to mean? Am I a booty call or am I girlfriend material? I don't know.

 

He confuses me.

 

We didn't have sex. I'm practically sitting here half naked typing this, and we didn't even have sex.

 

Is that what I'm upset about? That I knew that I wanted sex but he can't even get it up?

 

He told me it was because of whiskey dick? What the hell? He had scotch on the rocks?

 

I want to scream.

[xpaperxcutx]

Go home, it will be even worse in the morning and because he is feeling ashamed of his ED situation, things will be even weirder and you will trip out even more. He was drinking and couldn't get it up, it happens stop doing your head in.

 

Okfine that's just it, i can't go home. it's 3 in the morning, and the trains are probably closed. If I go home now, I'll be sure to get into a screaming fight with my mom because she's home right now. I can only wait this out.

[carhill]

Trust me, I'm 50 and can drink till I slur my words and have no worries getting it up and gone. Orgasms just take a bit longer. I'm not abnormal.

 

Unless you want to date an alcoholic, don't believe anything a person says when they're drunk. They might mean it at that moment, but their brain is operating on alcohol. You're not his girlfriend.

 

Get dressed and get out of there. See if his charger fits your phone so you at least have some battery if you have problems. It's almost 2:30.

 

Yeah, the trains are likely off-line, but cabs run all night. Yes, I know it costs money. The doorman should be able to call one for you.

[xpaperxcutx]

Oh I thought you could hop in a cab. Well then take a deep breath, this is not the time to beat yourself up. Calm down, go to bed and get up early get your stuff and make your way out of there and be aloof, don't show too much. Say good bye and go home and reflect on why this is no longer a good option for you. Now you know without a shaddow of a doubt this guy is just not that good for you. So now, focus on the positive which is from tomorrow on you can cut him out of your life cold turkey. No point getting all stressed out now about what's done. If he tries to put the moves on you in the morning since you were both drinking and he might wake up feeling "frisky", as we often do after a night of drinking, tell him "no you have to be somewhere and there is no time" and just go. Don't give him another inch more for your own sake, you clearly cannot do the "no strings attached act" with this guy so stop it. It's not a shame it's a lesson, that's all.

 

OKF, I don't have enough money in my wallet to afford that kind of ride. I live in Queens, and I'm all the way in Manhattan right now.

 

I'm sorry I didn't make it clear, but I was typing this thread out when I was really stressed. I forgot to mention we had the the foreplay and he already came. That's why he couldn't get it up the second time around, and he excuses it for a whiskey dick.

 

I'm so confused right now. The whole time we were in the lounge, it seemed like I was playing things off nonchalantly although I knew full well what he had said. I don't know about the " girlfriend" statement, but words did get caught in my throat on whether I should have asked him then and there whether he wanted to be with me or not, and what was I to him.

 

I wish I can bring that up now. Because for a second I really wanted to believe that maybe just maybe he does see me differently?

[xpaperxcutx]

Trust me, I'm 50 and can drink till I slur my words and have no worries getting it up and gone. Orgasms just take a bit longer. I'm not abnormal.

 

Unless you want to date an alcoholic, don't believe anything a person says when they're drunk. They might mean it at that moment, but their brain is operating on alcohol. You're not his girlfriend.

 

Get dressed and get out of there. See if his charger fits your phone so you at least have some battery if you have problems. It's almost 2:30.

 

Yeah, the trains are likely off-line, but cabs run all night. Yes, I know it costs money. The doorman should be able to call one for you.

Carhill I can't. I don't have that kind of cash. I know he's not an alcoholic and I certainly wouldn't date one. But would someone actually turn down sex on the get go?

[BlueEyedGirl]

Yeah talk it out with him. No harm in asking since you will cut him out of your life anyway. But when you ask, watch how sincere he is so that he doesn't sweet talk you into having sex. Just be straight forward and say that you don't want to be a booty call.

[xpaperxcutx]

I don't get it then what are you stressing about? If you had sex and he couldn't get it up again so what? Guys drink and can't get it up the first time around it happens ALL the time, if a guy drinks a lot he will get rubbish erections he sleeps it off and is more than good to go after that. It's totally normal, plus you say you already had sex once so then....? I think these are your insecurities playing up here because you know deep down you still haven't a clue where you stand again and you feel like you gave too much.

 

So that's what he's doing then?

 

No, we didn't have sex. I gave him a blowjob. But he was kind enough to return me the favor by masturbating me.

 

So it's all honestly my insecurities? I think I feel like this because he said I had a big ego because I told him I never had anyone turned down sex from me before.

[xpaperxcutx]

Yeah talk it out with him. No harm in asking since you will cut him out of your life anyway. But when you ask, watch how sincere he is so that he doesn't sweet talk you into having sex. Just be straight forward and say that you don't want to be a booty call.

 

Well I cant exactly ask him now. But do you think its wise to actually come right out and ask? I find that I have more courage doing these types of things when I'm actually drunk. At least then it'll give me an excuse to brush it off should they become defensive against me.

[Cora]

If it were me I would ask! It's better to know where you stand now rather than risk getting hurt later.

[carhill]

Carhill I can't. I don't have that kind of cash. I know he's not an alcoholic and I certainly wouldn't date one. But would someone actually turn down sex on the get go?

Do you usually take the L train out of Union Square? A number of the trains run all night.

[BlueEyedGirl]

Well I cant exactly ask him now. But do you think its wise to actually come right out and ask? I find that I have more courage doing these types of things when I'm actually drunk. At least then it'll give me an excuse to brush it off should they become defensive against me.

 

Yes, you should ask. I think that you really have nothing to lose at this point. Asking will clarify things one way or the other, so you can make an informed decision on where to go from here. Ask him when he wakes up.

[carhill]

What I meant by dating an alcoholic was that, in order to experience him like he was tonight (his words, like "girlfriend"), he'd have to be drinking all the time to have his brain chemistry that way. One of my wife's married girlfriends was like that, a functioning alcoholic. She was always being flirtatious with me and touching and kissing me, then, when occasionally sober, it was like I had grown horns or something and she didn't give me the time of day. It was the alcohol.

 

I don't know how his mind works. I'd probably want to make love but would not go through with it. I don't know if he has similar inhibitions about such things.

[sugarmomma]

I'm so confused right now. The whole time we were in the lounge, it seemed like I was playing things off nonchalantly although I knew full well what he had said. I don't know about the " girlfriend" statement, but words did get caught in my throat on whether I should have asked him then and there whether he wanted to be with me or not, and what was I to him.

 

I wish I can bring that up now. Because for a second I really wanted to believe that maybe just maybe he does see me differently?

 

Does he treat you differently? I mean the way you would like him to? If not, I wouldn't put much stock into anything that he says or ask him. Always judge a man by how he treats you, not the things he says.

 

Be safe.

[paddington bear]

Oh dear.

 

Right, date with another guy which should've made you feel better about artist guy, instead it made you feel worse. Artist guy, bad and all as he is, is familiar and not as bad as V. You wanted some comfort, you wanted to feel better about yourself so you run off to artist guy. That's why you did that.

 

As regards the whiskey dick. Happens all the time, young and old, don't take it personally and overthink it too much.

 

Never again go on a date, go out with friends without enough money in your pocket for a taxi home. NEVER!!!! Always keep a secret 50 dollars or whatever in your wallet that is not to be touched, forget it's there, don't buy drink or anything else with it, it is there as emergency money for just such an occasion as this.

 

If you're spending the night with artist guy and not coming home at all, why would coming home at 3am upset your mother? Just the disturbance in the middle of the night, or that she thinks you're out with girlfriends?

 

You want artist guy to want you as a girlfriend, so far from what you've said, that is not looking good. You have to somehow stop yourself from seeing him, calling him whatever. Have you memorised his phone number? If not, just store his name in your phone with the last 3 digits of his number, that way you know it's him if he calls you, but stops you calling him when drunk or insecure etc.

 

The other thing is, you're going to end up on bad dates with unsuitable men. This can make you feel crap about yourself, you have to find some other way of dealing with it other than running back to the lesser of 2 evils. Make a bad date plan. Date goes bad, you leave asap, you go see a movie for some distraction, you arrange with a friend to call over to them after the date, otherwise your emotions are going to spin wildly out of control and you'll get yourself into situations such as this which will only hurt you further.

 

Hope you're home and safe now.

[tinklebell]

Right, date with another guy which should've made you feel better about artist guy, instead it made you feel worse. Artist guy, bad and all as he is, is familiar and not as bad as V. You wanted some comfort, you wanted to feel better about yourself so you run off to artist guy. That's why you did that.

 

paddington bear summed it very well. paper, I think I know exactly why you did what you did. It's probably comforting to be with artist guy but it may not be good for you. Sometimes when I felt like you did, I would go cold turkey.

 

But in your case with artist guy, you probably won't be happy without knowing where you stand, so go ahead and ask. If you get the answer you want, fine. If you don't, try the cold turkey way until you're ready? Hope this helps you and hope to see your next post telling us you're OK.

[kizik]

I hope that feeling frightened, disappointed and angry is enough to make you evaluate your actions.

 

STOP IT. Stop going around with sleazy guys, stop selling your p*ssy for a little attention. WAKE UP. You're going to wind up in a dumpster if you continue being silly and taking stupid risks.

[dreamergrl]

I can't help it, I'm wondering where paper is right now, and what she ended up doing.

 

I'm going to be completely honest. Paper - you're looking for attention. It doesn't make you a horrible person, everyone one goes through it some point or another, but it's time to look in the mirror and realize what's going on.

[xpaperxcutx]

I wounded up staying the night at his place. I was up half the night thinking things over, wondering how I was going to bring up the conversation, but I never really got the opportunity.

 

Please don't ostracize me while reading this because it's taking alot out of me to write this.

 

We ended up having sex in the morning. I don't know whether I was caught up in the moment or whether the alcohol was still in my system, but the deed was done before any amount of reason entered my consciousness. While I lay there under the covers, images of my ex bombarded me. I was horrified. I was comparing a random guy with my ex, and the thought sickened me. I felt like I had wanted to scream then and there, as dramatic as it sounds, I didn't and I ended in a drowsy sleep, waking up at 11.

 

We didn't have much to say afterwards. There wasn't any tension as I had imagined there were. There was just this lazy feeling in the air, and we made small talk. He walked me to the station, and once again, I ended up giving him an awkward hug before I boarded my train back home.

 

In summary, I am fine. I am not angry at or by my actions so much as I'm just frustrated at myself for being a coward at not having had confronted on him where I stand in all this. The only feeling he gave me this morning was of one teasing his little sister when he tried to make fun of me. If you ask me how I truly feel about sex, in all honesty, I'm glad we did it. But I hated having thought about my ex afterwards, because this was the first guy I actually slept with since my ex.

 

I feel like I'm contradicting myself right now from when I first posted last night, but human emotions are constantly changing aren't they?

 

Right now, I know for a certain, that I won't be seeing or talking to him for the entire weekend. He's going away to RI on Saturday, and I doubt he will try to contact me on Sunday. I don't know about next week either, therefore I won't place myself in a position to think too far into the future. The only thoughts I have now is to maybe get some rest, go to the gym and call my friends to meet for dinner.