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My first bait-and-switch


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I haven't been on a date in over nine months so I pretty excited when I got an invitation via one of the dating sites from a guy who wanted to take me to dinner at a pretty fancy, San Francisco restaurant.

 

 

 

"T" and I started having some pretty amazing phone calls and although we had reservations for dinner this evening, we agreed to meet last evening for cocktails at a local sushi bar because we were to anxious. Quite frankly, based on the phone calls, I was practically ready to bring this man home; a prestigious and well-known wine maker, world-traveler, three homes (Manhattan, Paris, and San Francisco), similar tastes in food and art, and all the other psychological things that turn me on.

 

 

When I walked into bar, I saw the bait-and-switch. He claimed to be 47 and was closer to 57 (now age doesn’t matter to me, but the deception does). He claimed to be an athletic 190 pounds and he was easily a flabby 230 pounds. And the picture he had initially provided was obviously 15 or 20 years old. All that MIGHT have been forgiven until I saw his manners. He had ordered sushi and Champagne and I honestly have never seen anyone eat so disgustingly before; there were bits of rice all over his chin and when the waiter brought over the complimentary Cracker Jack dessert (house made and pretty good!), "T" was scooping it up and shoveling into his mouth so that bits of it were ending up all over his belly.

 

 

The physical disgust aside, what was truly bizarre was that "T" was already expressing ardent words of “love” and essentially offering me a lifestyle of travel and opulence. I told him that he didn’t know me at all to be able to use the “L” word and he dismissed that concept, saying that I was the woman he had been waiting to love for years and couldn’t wait to bring me to ___________ (name a foreign country) or to introduce me to _____________ (name well-known winery and restaurant owners). Very bizarre.

 

 

So, when he suggested we go up to my place (about 40 steps from the bar), I said no. He was incredulous that *I* was playing him although I was pretty emphatic about not having sex, leaving him to pay the bill and heading home.

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Unfortunate!

 

How long did you converse through phone calls? I think online dating can be hazardous in terms of "false intimacy" (you think you know a person even though you haven't met). A lot of people in the LDR forum have gone deep into this with disastrous results. Next time, exchange phone numbers only in case any problems arise while planning the first dinner date :p

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Sorry you got played. This type of thing is what gives D-sites a bad name. I can understand a little "embellishment", but sounds like you got a whole new gig. Live and learn, I guess.

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Yeah, what a kook. My online dating rules which have turned out at least ok (aka: no nightmares) are meet up within two weeks of talking to somebody for an hour date over a drink or something. If that goes well, then go in for longer dates over dinner or something. And oh yes always be truthful about age and only recent pics.

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Some people wont like this but when I was OLD - and I was sucessful as far as meeting the type of men I wanted to meet....

 

I paid for an on line investigation of each of them prior to meeting.

 

Not deep, deep....but enough to know the facts, like what he did for a living, whether his business was successful,etc.

 

I know it shouldn't be necessary, but you would not believe the whoppers I was told.

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Art_Critic

I don't know if you go the bait and switch.. he really does believe all that crap about himself.. he believes he looks 15 years younger so he puts pictures out there to show you.. he also thinks he looks like he is 190 so he tells you this..

 

Guys like that aren't really lying on purpose because any normal person would know that they would be caught.. they actually believe that crap...

 

They think they are sooooo successful that any woman would be lucky to have them or lucky to lick the sushi droppings off their stomach..

 

They really think they are a catch...

 

It is up to you to weed out those characters.. Always meet quickly even if just for coffee and do some online checking of them.. search the public records of their county first.

 

Ask them where they work and call the number...

 

Check... you have to check them out..

 

oh.. by the way that includes women too.. I met the female version of your date before except she was almost 100 lbs heavier than her picture and 15 years older and no longer child bearing age.. so they exist and it isn't only men that create their little dating fantasy's..

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Trialbyfire

Do the research, if you're meeting people randomly or through online sites. Anyone who orders champagne with sushi, needs a lesson in compatible tastes.

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Do the research, if you're meeting people randomly or through online sites. Anyone who orders champagne with sushi, needs a lesson in compatible tastes.

 

LOL TBF! So true....Someone like that gives the rest of us guys a bad name. On the flip side, I once met a woman who had totally photo shopped her picture....I guess they are out there on both sides.

 

Sorry you had to deal with this OP.

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Art_Critic
I once met a woman who had totally photo shopped her picture....

 

haha.. We had an employee working here years ago that used to advertise on the gay dating sites..he was gay..

 

He took his shot of himself with his shirt off and then beefed up his pecs and abs in photshop..

Photoshop and retouching are something that we do around here at work all day long so it was second nature to him...

By the time he was done it looked like he worked out 5 days a week.. of course he did have a pretty good body to start with though.

 

It was successful.. he has been dating the same guy for about 6-7 years now that he met from that ad :laugh:

 

I have never photshoped anything online other than color correct or take blemishes off my face even though I could have made myself tons better looking :)

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Do the research, if you're meeting people randomly or through online sites. Anyone who orders champagne with sushi, needs a lesson in compatible tastes.

 

:laugh::laugh: Actually, here in California a LOT of people order Champagne with sushi! :laugh::laugh:

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Trialbyfire
LOL TBF! So true....Someone like that gives the rest of us guys a bad name. On the flip side, I once met a woman who had totally photo shopped her picture....I guess they are out there on both sides.

 

Sorry you had to deal with this OP.

Craziness, if you consider that the intent of online dating sites, is to meet. So you meet and they're not the same. :confused:

 

:laugh::laugh: Actually, here in California a LOT of people order Champagne with sushi! :laugh::laugh:
Gaahhhhh, heathens! Heated Sake or any kind of rice wine, is the way to go.

 

Besides the clash in flavour, bubbles and digesting raw fish, don't make for a good combination, unless people enjoy a never-ending repeating meal! ;)

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You'reasian
:laugh::laugh: Actually, here in California a LOT of people order Champagne with sushi! :laugh::laugh:

 

I ordered two glases of port with one of these for dessert once on a date with a lady friend from California.

 

http://www.deathbychocolate.com/images/pic.jpg

 

She said she'd never had that combination before?

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You'reasian
Heated Sake or any kind of rice wine, is the way to go

 

Drinking Sake on a roof during a full moon? ;)

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Craziness, if you consider that the intent of online dating sites, is to meet. So you meet and they're not the same. :confused:

 

Gaahhhhh, heathens! Heated Sake or any kind of rice wine, is the way to go.

 

Besides the clash in flavour, bubbles and digesting raw fish, don't make for a good combination, unless people enjoy a never-ending repeating meal! ;)

 

We can agree to disagree -- I was a professional food and wine writer (and was training to be a sommelier) so there ARE some Champagnes which can work just fine. Personally, I preferred a Chilled Sake like Kubota Manjyu. Ever tried a sparkling sake? Those are pretty amazing as well...

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Trialbyfire
We can agree to disagree -- I was a professional food and wine writer (and was training to be a sommelier) so there ARE some Champagnes which can work just fine. Personally, I preferred a Chilled Sake like Kubota Manjyu. Ever tried a sparkling sake? Those are pretty amazing as well...
So as a professional, what kind of champagne would you suggest, for sushi and sashimi?

 

I don't like chilled sake and can't imagine a sparkling sake. Consider me a traditionalist, when having sushi, although other types of Japanese cuisine is a different story.

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So as a professional, what kind of champagne would you suggest, for sushi and sashimi?

 

I don't like chilled sake and can't imagine a sparkling sake. Consider me a traditionalist, when having sushi, although other types of Japanese cuisine is a different story.

 

If you google "champagne and sushi," you will see a bunch of articles about well-known sushi chefs working more Champagne pairings into their repertoire, . Vintage Champagnes tend to work a bit more to the advantage as they show more depth, less acidity, and light caramel notes which complement the umami of soy sauce. Also, Chardonnay-based Champagnes (usually known as blanc de blanc vs. blanc de noir, which is a combination of Chardonnay and Pinot Noir and Pinot Meunier grapes).

 

Yes, warm sake is traditional but not for a reason you think: It was only the cheapest sake that was warmed to cover its mediocrity. The best and rarest sakes were served chilled to heighten their flavors and because only the aristocracy and rich had the ability to provide refrigeration. It is also why traditional British stouts are not served ice cold, but only "room temperature." When they were developed, there was no such thing as refrigeration.

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Trialbyfire
If you google "champagne and sushi," you will see a bunch of articles about well-known sushi chefs working more Champagne pairings into their repertoire, . Vintage Champagnes tend to work a bit more to the advantage as they show more depth, less acidity, and light caramel notes which complement the umami of soy sauce. Also, Chardonnay-based Champagnes (usually known as blanc de blanc vs. blanc de noir, which is a combination of Chardonnay and Pinot Noir and Pinot Meunier grapes).
I can google anything but I'm much more interested in your professional opinion. Give me a few suggestions, including year and all details.

 

Yes, warm sake is traditional but not for a reason you think: It was only the cheapest sake that was warmed to cover its mediocrity. The best and rarest sakes were served chilled to heighten their flavors and because only the aristocracy and rich had the ability to provide refrigeration. It is also why traditional British stouts are not served ice cold, but only "room temperature." When they were developed, there was no such thing as refrigeration.
Actually, sake wasn't chilled previous to refrigeration, regardless of quality and social standing.
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I can google anything but I'm much more interested in your professional opinion. Give me a few suggestions, including year and all details.

 

 

I'm very fond of the '91 Billecart Salmon as it has a nutty quality which seems to make some specific pieces (toro, kohada, and aji) a bit sweeter.

 

The '85 Krug has tiny bubbles and just enough caramel to pair well with hamachi, hotate, and sake (the salmon, not the beverage).

 

A '79 Lanson Champagne has hints of apple but complex toast and yeast on the back palate. Its creaminess is akin to the '78 Dom Perignon for considerably less money and brings out the richness of kanpachi and shima aji.

 

Lastly, you can never go wrong with a 2000 Cristal Brut.

 

And for uni, an '89 Veuve Cliquot Grande Dame.

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SoulSearch_CO

He sounds like a news special I saw on TV. A guy lied just like this on a dating site - the brag of money and all. He ended up scamming many women out of their money. And that's how he was able to keep wining and dining new women and keep up appearances of being wealthy.

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Carrie, beloved, I was at a formal dinner at the Osaka Lion's Club (not the fraternal org.) one of the courses (prawns) came accompanied by a VERY chilled peach brandy spritzer. I can't remember the name!! I can remember the taste ( unf*ckingbelievable) as if it were yesterday, but the name escapes me. Any ideas? Came with black soya pickles. The best I've ever had. Anybody?

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If you are sure it was a brandy, it was probably G. Miclo Creme de Peche. Miclo is a lovely distillery located in Alsace producing all sorts of delightful Creme de Cremes, Kirsch, and Eau de Vie (grappa/clear brandy).

 

Available through Sam's:

 

http://www.samswine.com/Miclo%20Creme%20de%20Peche/10042440,default,pd.html

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BobSacamento

This is why I always do the coffee meet and greet. If that goes well, you can get the second date or go for dinner. If it doesn't go well you can bail very easily.

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Thanks Carrie, Yes I'm sure of the Brandy, though a little less body than , say a Calvados. But it was, after all a spritzer.

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Lindarose84
He sounds like a news special I saw on TV. A guy lied just like this on a dating site - the brag of money and all. He ended up scamming many women out of their money. And that's how he was able to keep wining and dining new women and keep up appearances of being wealthy.

 

Haha sounds like we both watched that episode of Dateline where that guy on that millionaire site scammed these women using one stale old pic and stories about hanging out with Grammy award winning artists and these women (sorry to say) were stupid enough to send him thousands of dollars and one of them hadn't even met the dude??!?!?!?

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Citizen Erased

This is why I am scared of online dating. What if the guy is like really short or something? :sick:

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