Kiss on first date but not second?

[Cora]

Okay, so we went out on first date, had a wonderful time and he kissed me goodnight. We planned on going to an afternoon movie the very next day and he sent me a text as I was on my way home the first night saying I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I took this as a good sign. Day two there was no kiss. We just went in and saw the movie and he gave me a hug goodbye. Now I don't expect a kiss everytime but i'm not sure if this is a sign that he is less interested or maybe just a sign of being nervous? He is a bit shy but he did however have enough nerve to kiss me on the first date. I thought that maybe I gave off the vibe on the second date that I wasn't that interested in him so on my way home I send him a text this time since he sent me one the first time. I just said I wish I could of kissed you goodbye. He sends me one back saying we will make that up next time.

 

I'm already screwing this up aren't I? I tend to do that a lot. I'm just confused now to if he has already lost interest in me? No third date was scheduled yet. He just told me when I left I'll talk to you online later. I suppose I just have to wait and see. Just kind of disappointed I guess. I was really looking forward to another kiss since the first one was pleasant.

[Bejita463]

I think you are seriously over complicating this.

 

Could it mean something? Of course it could. That is not even a useful question. What is a useful question is how likely it is that it meant something. My take on it is that that specific event is unremarkable, and not worthy of such analysis.

[carhill]

OP, I presume your lips are under your control, yes?

 

If you're being accurate about him being shy, kissing you on the first date and the kiss being pleasant and him asking you out (I'm assuming here) to the movie on the second date the next day, I'd say it's time for you to take a little initiative. Presuming he asks you out for a third date (I think it's good for him to do that, in light of your text about the kiss), then you take the initiative and kiss him upon meeting up. Let him feel your enthusiasm. It's really important to understand what you're feeling when you kiss someone. It's communicated in the contact you have.

 

Best wishes!

[Lucky_One]

Maybe he thought that his breath smelled for some reason.

 

Sounds like both of you had a good time. Don't fret - just enjoy it. Dating is fun, not a treacherous trap!

[carhill]

Popcorn breath, yum

[loveslife]

I have to agree that I think you're over-analyzing. But I also want you to know that I TOTALLY relate to the worry of messing things up. It's an emotional trap I've fallen into many, many times.

 

Take some deep breaths and try, try, try not to worry.

[Cora]

Thanks guys, Yeah I'm not gonna worry about it anymore. I'm just going to wait and see if he contacts me again. I suppose I could try to take the initiative next time. I'm just not used to doing so because quite frankly I'm very shy myself. He does make me feel comfortable around him but I'm always worried that if I try something he may not want the same and it would be so embarrassing. But....I suppose if he was brave enough to do so then I can too right? I've got quite a bit to learn still about this whole dating thing.

[OverThinker]

Um Yeah see my name. I am a guy who tends to over think every thing I do. So putting my self in his shoes he may have thought that he kissed you to soon. Shy guys will have the same thoughts about what to do and when as you do. I would advise you to (as car did) when you go out with him again go for the kiss. Take a chance if you want something go for it.

 

Good luck

[tkgirl]

Thanks guys, Yeah I'm not gonna worry about it anymore. I'm just going to wait and see if he contacts me again. I suppose I could try to take the initiative next time. I'm just not used to doing so because quite frankly I'm very shy myself. He does make me feel comfortable around him but I'm always worried that if I try something he may not want the same and it would be so embarrassing. But....I suppose if he was brave enough to do so then I can too right? I've got quite a bit to learn still about this whole dating thing.

 

if he's shy like you said he is, I might back off from attacking him first thing next time you see him! kidding... but guys like this can be confusing, I know. And you just started dating.. it sounds like he's figuring out his feelings for you. Just enjoy getting to know each other for now.. if the chemistry is there, the kissing (and such!) will follow!

[KJonesLove]

Don't worry, I believe things are fine and you are just over-analyzing the situation. If he does not ever "make it up" then that may be a problem. I am sure once you told him you wanted the kiss, it made him gain a lot more confidence.

[BCCA]

I am sure once you told him you wanted the kiss, it made him gain a lot more confidence.

 

He also probably feels less anxiety about it. Seriously, I dont know if women go through this too, but there is nothing more humiliating then trying to kiss a girl and having them shoo you away. At that point, you dont even want to see them again. You telling him you wished you got a kiss probably made his life a million times easier.

 

I find that I only go in for the kiss if I get the vibe that the girl is waiting for it. Kissing can always wait, and its better than being turned away. And if hes shy like me, you planting a smooch on him next time would be the greatest thing in the world!

[Chicago_Guy]

I suspect you are probably doing something without realizing it that is making the guy think that you aren't in to him. If he kissed you on the first date, but not on the second, that doesn't sound good to me.

[carhill]

I suspect you are probably doing something without realizing it that is making the guy think that you aren't in to him.

That would be over-thinking (on her part). Kiss more, think less

[SummerLady]

He also probably feels less anxiety about it. Seriously, I dont know if women go through this too, but there is nothing more humiliating then trying to kiss a girl and having them shoo you away. At that point, you dont even want to see them again. You telling him you wished you got a kiss probably made his life a million times easier.

 

I find that I only go in for the kiss if I get the vibe that the girl is waiting for it. Kissing can always wait, and its better than being turned away. And if hes shy like me, you planting a smooch on him next time would be the greatest thing in the world!

 

I had a great date with someone last weekend and I wanted a kiss, there is def a mutual attraction. BUT we were in a very public place when we parted so there was no no no privacy for a kiss. It was kind of strange when we left each other because you could tell if we were under different circumstances a kiss would have happened. I assume the 2nd date there will be one. This is an interesting topic...

[Cora]

Yeah, from what you guys are saying and now that I have thought about it more there are a few reasons I can think of as to why he may have not kissed me.

 

1. For some reason I felt really awkward during that second date, not talking much etc.. and i'm certain he picked up on that.

 

2. He gave off what appeared to be hints during the movie like he said to me wow it's really cold in here...I have goosebumps. Maybe that was an invitation for me to come closer, hold hands or something. Or maybe he was just making conversation, who knows? I wanted to make a move but I held back out of fear.

 

3. When we parted we were in a very busy parking lot so maybe he didn't feel as comfortable kissing me there in front of all those people. The end of our first date was in a more private setting.

 

4. Maybe he did just lose interest and has decided I'm just not the one for him.

 

So yeah, for now I'm just gonna stay calm, no more overthinking things....gonna wait and see if he contacts me again. If not then I know he isn't interested any longer and it's time for me to move along. If we do meet up again I'm just going to go for it if the time is right. If I feel like giving him a kiss, no more holding back. I find that I hold back way too often and it hurts me more than helps. There is a time for self control but there is also a time when you just need to show that person how you feel. Thanks for all the advice and lets just hope I haven't screwed things up too much yet and there is still a chance!