cadman Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 im recently divorced and looking to meet good, honest women just to socialize with and see if anything develops....been going to bars for a few drinks after work once or twice a week....for some reason picking up a woman at a bar just seems the wrong way to meet good women...am i crazy for thinking this way? Link to post Share on other sites
Joker77 Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 im recently divorced and looking to meet good, honest women just to socialize with and see if anything develops....been going to bars for a few drinks after work once or twice a week....for some reason picking up a woman at a bar just seems the wrong way to meet good women...am i crazy for thinking this way? No....I honestly am one of the opinion that you aren't going to meet a good woman in a bar. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cadman Posted April 15, 2009 Author Share Posted April 15, 2009 by the way, im 36, if that has any relevance to the question above... Link to post Share on other sites
missdependant Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 No. You're not going to meet decent women at a bar, regardless of your age. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 im recently divorced and looking to meet good, honest women just to socialize with and see if anything develops....been going to bars for a few drinks after work once or twice a week....for some reason picking up a woman at a bar just seems the wrong way to meet good women...am i crazy for thinking this way? I have a couple of sites for you to check out. http://www.FinallyFoundYou.com - for people your age - group activities like wine-tasting, etc http://www.MeetUp.com - group activities as well You want to be doing fun things with groups of people your age. The goal is to make friends and then see what develops. You should also take swing dancing and salsa dancing lessons. Lots of nice people there. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 im recently divorced and looking to meet good, honest women just to socialize with and see if anything develops....been going to bars for a few drinks after work once or twice a week....for some reason picking up a woman at a bar just seems the wrong way to meet good women...am i crazy for thinking this way? good honest women generally aren't bar flies... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Why not? I believe you are a decent guy.. but yet you go have a drink at a bar.. so why can't a decent woman go have a drink at a bar in hope of finding a decent guy... geezzz Unless you go to trashy bars (where I suspect those who say you won't meet decent women are going) there is no reason why decent women can't visit classy bars.. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Why not? I believe you are a decent guy.. but yet you go have a drink at a bar.. so why can't a decent woman go have a drink at a bar in hope of finding a decent guy... geezzz Unless you go to trashy bars (where I suspect those who say you won't meet decent women are going) there is no reason why decent women can't visit classy bars.. Societal protocol is completely different for men and women (I don't like it but it's true) and so it's unlikely he'll meet a women unless she's there with a group. It could happen, but his odds will be better doing group activities. Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Spade Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 generaly - yes, you will have hard time finding a good girl in a bar. But, depending on the type of bar and the crowd, you can meet some pretty interesting people. It really mostly depends on what type of bar we're talking about, and most bars are completely wrong for that purpose: 1. college watering holes - f** that... 2. road house - depending on what part of the country you live in, you could potentially run into a wholesome farmer's daughet , but probably not 3. neighborhood bar - possibly the best option, as long as it is not where the drunks get together and as long as it is in a real city where neighborhood means a dynamic place, not a block of 10 bigass houses 4. swanky/snobby establishments - could go either way. every once in a while you could meet some together woman; or grating personalities that you want to smash the faces of so, overall it is possible, but probably not the best venue to look for relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Societal protocol is completely different for men and women (I don't like it but it's true) and so it's unlikely he'll meet a women unless she's there with a group. It could happen, but his odds will be better doing group activities. yes I know that.. but it's wrong.. people judge.. why men in bars aren't judged the same way.. it's ridiculous. When I go outside for work.. in a hotel.. I go down to the bar and have a drink.. it's quiet and I get to meet other people on work trips.. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Why not? I believe you are a decent guy.. but yet you go have a drink at a bar.. so why can't a decent woman go have a drink at a bar in hope of finding a decent guy... geezzz Unless you go to trashy bars (where I suspect those who say you won't meet decent women are going) there is no reason why decent women can't visit classy bars.. because when people are in bars they are drinking and not themselves...they put on their "bar face" and most of the women have their shields up Link to post Share on other sites
MeMyself&I Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Why are would a women be judged by where she goes as a reflection of who she is?? I'm in my mid-thirties and I'm at the bar almost every weekend. NOT to drink. I don't drink. But I love to sing. I am a good singer and I go to the bar for karaoke. Do I think I can meet a good guy at the bar. I believe that it may not be AS likely but I know I'm a good person and I go there so why can't there be a good man that goes to the bars too. I own my own home, have a good job, have a College Education, am intelligent and not hard on the eyes (lol). I think I'm a catch. The important thing is to be able to trust yourself to see who is a good/healthy prospective date. Emotionally healthy people attract Emotionally healthy people. Just like unhealthy attract unhealthy. There was a time in my life that I could go in a room consisting of all healthy people and one unhealthy person and I would swear the unhealthy person was for me!! lol If you don't trust yourself to meet good/healthy people you probably won't It comes with being secure, mature and confident in yourself and you will be attracted to those attributes in someone else. You can go anywhere and meet dysfunctional people. Yes, a bar may tend to have more of them because of the component of alcohol and the stigma of bars being pick-up joints. But that doesn't mean that is what everyone is there for. I'm also not trying to say that you are wrong. If you feel like the bar is not the place for you to meet women, then there are other alternatives. It's also hard to get back in the swing of dating after being in relationship for a long time. I know that feeling. I've been there. So do what feels comfortable for you to meet women. But please don't assume that all women at bars are unworthy of dating. Look at perspective partners by their actions, etc. Also give it time. It may be that you just need to get back into the swing of the dating scene too. It's not easy. And I personally think it kinda sucks!! lol Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 yes I know that.. but it's wrong.. people judge.. why men in bars aren't judged the same way.. it's ridiculous. When I go outside for work.. in a hotel.. I go down to the bar and have a drink.. it's quiet and I get to meet other people on work trips.. We're not saying you're not a classy broad, or that you can't meet a classy broad in a bar. In fact, a hotel bar is a little different, even. I guess I was thinking of college night-spots. We're just saying that if he's shopping for a girlfriend, he might have better luck with larger groups of people. Link to post Share on other sites
missdependant Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I live in a college town where not many people (male or female) go to the bar for anything other than to get hit on (or hit on people) and find a quick lay or make out partner. I am at the bars almost every weekend, and I'm probably the ONLY sober person there (I promote local DJs and music parties and this is my only reason for ever going). And this is typically all I ever see.. the DJ's play at just about every bar in town, EVERY weekend so I am around this crowd a lot. I go to sports bars occasionally with my boyfriend when he watches sports with his buddies. And their minds are usually nowhere in the field of hitting on girls. Their motivation for going is to watch sports on a giant screen and have some drinks with friends. And that's it and includes any single friends he has that might have joined them. Hotel bars are MUCH different than visiting a bar on the strip.. so yeah. Maybe you'll find someone.. but isn't it safe to assume that the people at hotel bars are traveling? So wouldn't that imply a long distance relationship if anything WERE to happen? I would recommend finding girls somewhere else. Wine tasting was a good idea that was thrown out there.. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Why are would a women be judged by where she goes as a reflection of who she is?? i don't know....why do women routinely reject homely men who have no job and no car and live with their mom? Link to post Share on other sites
MeMyself&I Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 i don't know....why do women routinely reject homely men who have no job and no car and live with their mom? I understand people ARE judged for who they hang out with (my mom used to lecture me about this in high school) lol, where they hang out and even still by their age, race, gender and color sometimes. But I hope we are getting past some of these things although some of it will always remain. I don't think your statement above will always apply. It would depend on the man/woman's age and circumstances. But I'm not going to think of a man as a viable long-term partner if he can't support himself or live on their own. Now circumstance may make that necessary for some men/women short-term. And what is homely or good-looking? That's a relative opinion. My "type" I know is definitely not my best-friend's type of an attractive man. It IS possible for most people to present themselves attractively if they take care of themselves. (just my humble opinion) Link to post Share on other sites
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