phillipreed678 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I have known this girl for about eh...3 years. She goes to my youth group, but we really met through family get togethers. I have been going to the same youth group for about 5 years (once a week) buts its only been recent that she has been coming. When I first saw her there, she smiled ( a very good one !). I was surprised to see her, and I thought I was a little scared. The next week..... I see her again. She smiles almost the same way. I do small talk. I ask her about people she knows. I think she became a little bored. Then one week I am not able to go..... Since I go to an all boys school, I learned from some people that she had a boyfriend. I do some research and go to her facebook. It appears they only started being together since the end of February and the start of March. One day I ask her if she knows the guy she's with on a facebook messaging. She said it was her boyfriend, but suddenly she said she had to go. I asked her where she was going and she simply said " Ummmm......I have to go" I see her the next week at the youth group. But she does not seem to be interested. She said hi..but I didn't think she was interested. I am not sure why she suddenly got so bored of me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phillipreed678 Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 I'm just bumping the thread : Bump Link to post Share on other sites
Author phillipreed678 Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 .....C'mon guys and gals. No one could here could give me ANY info on this ??? Link to post Share on other sites
confused_2008 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 You can't make anybody interested in you, no matter how much you want it. It sounds like you were in the dreaded friend zone and now on top of that she has a boyfriend. All you can do is move on and find a different girl, bud. Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 I dunno but to me you sound like you may be coming off a little "stalker-ish".. First by scoping out her facebook page and then asking her if she "knows" (huh?) the guy she is with in one of the pics... and um, hello? she said it was her BOYFRIEND. Then when you two were talking and she said she had to go and you went and asked WHERE she was going? yikes.. that kind of stuff can really creep girls out, ya know? You got to play it a little more cool... but not with this one. She is clearly NOT interested... sorry, but you need to let it go and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
yongyong Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 3 years?? stop wasting time and move on to other girls. think about how many girls you could've banged in that period Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Doesn't sound to me like she was EVER interested. And you can't MAKE somebody turn on an interest if they have decided you're not for them. Besides - she has a boyfriend. Have some respect, yo. Link to post Share on other sites
IcemanJB Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Any chance you had with her, you blew it early on. She probably got a "stalker" vibe from you when you pulled that facebook stunt. As others have said, there is no 'convincing' a girl into being interested in you. It's not logical, so don't try to apply logic to it! I'd say you're SOL on this one, and you should just move on to the next one... Link to post Share on other sites
Author phillipreed678 Posted March 23, 2009 Author Share Posted March 23, 2009 3 years?? stop wasting time and move on to other girls. think about how many girls you could've banged in that period My objective WAS NOT to bang her at all at this point. Yeah she is attractive But I liked her, her personality and what she is now. But whatever I blew it, any advice at least going for friendship ??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author phillipreed678 Posted March 23, 2009 Author Share Posted March 23, 2009 Oh and by the way is there any way to mend what I did at all ?? Is there any way convince her anyway elese. Yeah I have my options, lots of options with other women.... Link to post Share on other sites
IcemanJB Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Oh and by the way is there any way to mend what I did at all ?? Is there any way convince her anyway elese. Yeah I have my options, lots of options with other women.... your best bet is to just back off, and hope she forgets about it. Chalk it up as a lesson learned. What do you mean by 'convince'? Read my previous post if you're thinking she'll change her mind about you romantically... Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Oh and by the way is there any way to mend what I did at all ?? Is there any way convince her anyway elese. Yeah I have my options, lots of options with other women.... #1 back off from this girl #2 start exploring all those other options you have (really?) maybe she will get a little jealous or at least realize you might be a cool guy after all... and not a stalker! Link to post Share on other sites
Author phillipreed678 Posted March 23, 2009 Author Share Posted March 23, 2009 #1 back off from this girl #2 start exploring all those other options you have (really?) maybe she will get a little jealous or at least realize you might be a cool guy after all... and not a stalker! 1# I will back off 2# I don't think I have even gone beyond small talk at all....I gotta find how to have "hang out" conversations because I just don't know how. 3# I don't think she thinks me as a stalker, just boring or rubbing her the wrong way. Thanks at least for your advice. I know it may seem strange coming from a person like me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phillipreed678 Posted March 23, 2009 Author Share Posted March 23, 2009 well I will update, she broke up with her boyfriend yesterday. Does that give an opprutunity ?? HELL NO ! Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 well I will update, she broke up with her boyfriend yesterday. Does that give an opprutunity ?? HELL NO ! Please tell me you didnt ask her, and get rejected again. 1# I will back off 2# I don't think I have even gone beyond small talk at all....I gotta find how to have "hang out" conversations because I just don't know how. 3# I don't think she thinks me as a stalker, just boring or rubbing her the wrong way. 1. You dont have a choice, you have to. 2. You dont need to worry about conversations with this girl at all. You need to move on to those other options. This girl isnt one of them anymore. 3. Thats not much better. Oh and by the way is there any way to mend what I did at all ?? With her? No. Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 I know you didn't mean to act like a "stalker" and maybe that term is a little too strong for your case. It just seemed like you kept pursuing this girl when she clearly didn't seem that interested... and she did have a boyfriend too! I'm just saying... as a "girl" there is certain behavior that guys can do that can turn us girls off... acting too eager or too pushy with questions about personal stuff etc. So I'll tell you again... it's much more "intriguing" if you can act a little more aloof. You may have blown it with this girl, and you may not have... the best thing for you to do is "chill". It just may spark her interest but either way.. it's really what you need to do. I am actually trying to help and I'm sorry if I was a little hurtful with the "stalker" comment but I said it so maybe you would realize how you were coming off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phillipreed678 Posted March 24, 2009 Author Share Posted March 24, 2009 Please tell me you didnt ask her, and get rejected again. 1. You dont have a choice, you have to. 2. You dont need to worry about conversations with this girl at all. You need to move on to those other options. This girl isnt one of them anymore. 3. Thats not much better. With her? No. No....I didn't ask her out... Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 so how are things today? Exploring any of those other "options" yet? I am willing to bet if she saw you with another girl she might get a little "irked" which may lead to interest! Especially if you stop paying so much attention to her... I'm not saying play a game or use this other new girl just to make her jealous, because you should never use anyone! And who knows.... you may end up really liking this new girl! But back to what I was saying... I just know how "us girls" can get. When a guy first seems too interested, then all of a sudden he backs off and next is out with another girl, it definitely can spark some interest that might not have been there before. Try it and then let me know how it goes! but good luck with whatever you decide to do... Link to post Share on other sites
St. Nick Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Don't you just love it when desperate people on the internet are given good advice but don't want to take it? phillip, let it go. You're obsessing over this little girl. Stop it. Try looking at other girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phillipreed678 Posted March 26, 2009 Author Share Posted March 26, 2009 Don't you just love it when desperate people on the internet are given good advice but don't want to take it? phillip, let it go. You're obsessing over this little girl. Stop it. Try looking at other girls. Since when have I said that I wouldn't take the advice Nick ??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author phillipreed678 Posted March 26, 2009 Author Share Posted March 26, 2009 I know you didn't mean to act like a "stalker" and maybe that term is a little too strong for your case. It just seemed like you kept pursuing this girl when she clearly didn't seem that interested... and she did have a boyfriend too! I'm just saying... as a "girl" there is certain behavior that guys can do that can turn us girls off... acting too eager or too pushy with questions about personal stuff etc. So I'll tell you again... it's much more "intriguing" if you can act a little more aloof. You may have blown it with this girl, and you may not have... the best thing for you to do is "chill". It just may spark her interest but either way.. it's really what you need to do. I am actually trying to help and I'm sorry if I was a little hurtful with the "stalker" comment but I said it so maybe you would realize how you were coming off. Well thanks for the advice. Yeah I understand about the the whole stalkerish thang. About Your other post...I haven't talked too her in a while. It was only since Sunday when I saw her with her whole family. I "talked" with the whole family, she ignored me and seemed like she wasn't interested. By the way, its not like I haven't done any socialization in the past....we HAVE had family get togethers. So there is a link there I geuss.....as for my options I haven't really had time to get out of the house. I have had loads of school work. I'll go for those other girls at that youth group. Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 I'm sorry things didn't go the way you had hoped with this girl... chalk it up as a learning experience maybe? And that stinks that she's giving you the cold shoulder now. She probably sensed you were a little into her and doesn't know how to act around you now. Try to just ignore her actions... and DON'T take it personal... she sounds like she's pretty "fickle" anyways, the way she HAD a boyfriend for a short while and then broke up with him... who knows, who cares? I say cut her loose, concentrate on your life, your studies etc. and start checking out those other prospects! Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author phillipreed678 Posted March 28, 2009 Author Share Posted March 28, 2009 I'm sorry things didn't go the way you had hoped with this girl... chalk it up as a learning experience maybe? And that stinks that she's giving you the cold shoulder now. She probably sensed you were a little into her and doesn't know how to act around you now. Try to just ignore her actions... and DON'T take it personal... she sounds like she's pretty "fickle" anyways, the way she HAD a boyfriend for a short while and then broke up with him... who knows, who cares? I say cut her loose, concentrate on your life, your studies etc. and start checking out those other prospects! Good Luck! No, no she wasn't fickle when i saw this thursday, I took your approach and decided not to take care. She seemed to be a little better, she said hi and we talked some.....and she was the one to say goodbye this time. I don't think she is fickle, she is sweet but i mean everyone has there rare tendencies. Fortunately I haven't seen her on her worst side, I don't think I would think of her differently even if I did. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Ah, the fragrant wonder of youth OP, good on ya man for being so loyal and caring; now go find a young lady worthy of that loyalty and care. Remember, and this is crucial, that you *must* show sexual and/or romantic interest blatantly early-on if you are to have any chance of being successful. If you don't, and I speak from much experience here, she will nearly 100% always, if she bonds with you at all, bond with you as a friend or surrogate brother. That bond is nearly impossible to break or alter without destroying it entirely. Leave this young filly be. Lots more fillies and mares in the paddock. Look around Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 No, no she wasn't fickle when i saw this thursday, I took your approach and decided not to take care. She seemed to be a little better, she said hi and we talked some.....and she was the one to say goodbye this time. so playing it cool worked a little? who knew! I don't think she is fickle, she is sweet but i mean everyone has there rare tendencies. Fortunately I haven't seen her on her worst side, I don't think I would think of her differently even if I did. uh oh, sounds like you still might got it a little for this girl... like she can do no wrong in your eyes? that's ok... kinda sweet actually, but just be careful! my advice still stands IF that is the case... keep playing it cool, let her figure out if she likes you too. again.. good luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
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