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He makes me feel used!!


Desi

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Hello everyone :

 

I have a little question over something that has been burning me . I have been seeing this guy for about a month now . We are just dating , as we wants to take it "slow" . Well we do hang out and we talk lots and such , but when we are together we doesnt seem to express mucuh " Passion " . In fact when we are cuddling and things get heated up , he only kisses me but he NEVER touches me , all he does is kiss me and then he pleasures himself with his hands and directs my hand to his " organ " so I help him please himself. Yesterday I said to him , please touch me and put his hand on my breast , but he only laughed . This is the 3rd time that it happens. And Its getting to the point where my self-esteem is suffereing . I'm a very attractive girl , and he says it too , admits to me that his friends think Im beautiful and has told me that sex is an "important part " of the relationship. But her never cares to touch me , or make me feel special . Even for Valentines day , he promsied to make the night special but all he did was watch sports and on the bedroom , he directed me to the same techinique .. it always goes like this at the end , he is undressed and pleased and im still wearing every single piece of clothing on ...

Some mature advise would eb appreicated as I dont know what's the best step to take . Whether I should wait or end it here as he doesnt seem to appreciate me much .

We are dating for now , as he sayd he wnats to take things slow to make sure im the right girl for him .

 

Thanks!

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honestly? I would dump the BOY! I know that sounds harsh but he seems very self centered.. to say the least! He has NO CLUE how to please a women and the fact that he doesn't even try makes it even worse. I say RUN and don't even look back. There are too many great MEN out there!

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That is creepy and gross.:sick:

 

I would think it would make you feel like you are no more than a warm sex toy. :sick:

He isn't being with you in any way.

He is just using you for minimal assistance to get what he wants with no thought of a connection or your feelings (which you have indicated to him already).

 

He ends up completely NUDE while you still have ALL of your clothes on? Once is freaky but again and again? Clearly he just wants a woman present while he takes care of himself. EEEEEEEEEW! :sick:

 

I don't understand why you saw him again after this happened once...

YUCK!!!!!!:sick:

 

It has only been a month and it is the beginning which is usually the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship where people put their best selves forward.

Who knows how he'd be if he was his real self?!! Is it going to get even worse (I can't imagine because I just about vomited just reading about the kind of guy he is right now...).:sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick:

 

I'd break it off and NEVER look back.

 

He isn't worth another second of your time!

 

You are deserving of someone who sees you as a partner in all ways and wants to please you too.

AND someone who makes you feel sexy and wanted.

 

This guy isn't it. He has issues.

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After only a month, you SHOULD only be "just dating" and "taking it slow".

 

Stop seeing him. This is not a situation that will resolve itself magically. If a man EVER makes you feel used, then it is not a healthy relationship.

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I totally agree with the "After one month we should only be dating " . There is no rush and I dont mind taking things slow , but as you mentioned that is the problem , taking things slow and making me feel used and not special is a total different thing . :(

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That is creepy and gross.:sick:

 

I would think it would make you feel like you are no more than a warm sex toy. :sick:

He isn't being with you in any way.

He is just using you for minimal assistance to get what he wants with no thought of a connection or your feelings (which you have indicated to him already).

 

He ends up completely NUDE while you still have ALL of your clothes on? Once is freaky but again and again? Clearly he just wants a woman present while he takes care of himself. EEEEEEEEEW! :sick:

 

I don't understand why you saw him again after this happened once...

YUCK!!!!!!:sick:

 

It has only been a month and it is the beginning which is usually the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship where people put their best selves forward.

Who knows how he'd be if he was his real self?!! Is it going to get even worse (I can't imagine because I just about vomited just reading about the kind of guy he is right now...).:sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick:

 

I'd break it off and NEVER look back.

 

He isn't worth another second of your time!

 

You are deserving of someone who sees you as a partner in all ways and wants to please you too.

AND someone who makes you feel sexy and wanted.

 

This guy isn't it. He has issues.

 

so let's get this straight island girl, this guys makes you a little :sick: ?

LOL!!!

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SoulSearch_CO

Definitely not a healthy beginning. And if this is the best he has to show you in trying to win you over - gross. I agree with IslandGirl on the queasy faces. LOL

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then he pleasures himself with his hands and directs my hand to his " organ "

I hate guys who do that! Such a turn off.

 

That guy sounds so self-centered. I'd dump him.

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I love the last line -

"He wants to take things slow to make sure i am the right girl for him."

 

Nightmare.

Complete and utter nightmare.

 

he is NOT the right guy for you.

He is selfish, disrespectful and controlling.

Foul manners and generally a complete user.

 

YUK!! :sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick: :sick: :sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick: :sick: :sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick: :sick: :sick::sick: (showing solidarity with my sistah Island Girl, here...... :p:lmao::sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:

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so let's get this straight island girl, this guys makes you a little :sick: ?

LOL!!!

 

I hate having a vivid imagination sometimes!

 

I love the last line -

"He wants to take things slow to make sure i am the right girl for him."

 

Yeah I KNOW!!

 

More like "I'm going to devalue you and use you to get my 'needs' (eeew picturing it again here - YUCK) met for a while. I just want a warm female body to lie next to me while I masturbate and fantasize about someone or something other than YOU (because if you were it we'd be doing much more and you know it).

"So we'll go slow enough that I get everything I want at this point and I don't give a crap about how YOU feel."

 

Talk about treating a woman as an object!!

 

OP really. What ARE you attracted to that makes this in anyway acceptable?

Does he fulfill EVERY other aspect of what you are looking for?

 

No wait. I take that back.

 

Even if he did it shouldn't be worth your dignity and self respect.

 

If you are rationalizing staying with this guy in some way then you really need to work on your self esteem.

 

You DO deserve to be treated as a PERSON, not just a heated blow up doll.

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RED FLAG ALERT!!! It seems like this guy is taking advantage of you to get himself off! Taking things slow or not if he were being genuine with you he would be much more respectful of your feelings and pleasure also this guy is a selfish B******! Dump him quick sweetie and find someone that will make you feel good!

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Island girl. I was considering this guy before , because he is good looking and I was attracted to him. When we used to talk he alwayas used to be "there for me " but as we moved into the seeing each othe stage , he is not showing any real value for me . Also, to reply to the question no he doesnt fullfill my other needs!

**When it comes to details and money is involved , I dont mind paying half , but sometimes a detail is needed you know ? He always makes me pay half of the groceries when I go to his place becuase he invited me for dinner or lunch ( even Valentine's day) . If we take a cab to his place , he makes me pay half , if he invites me somehere , I must buy my own ticket and sometimes if it is my idea, he implies I pay for him as well...........

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curiousnycgirl

I have to agree with everyone else here - dump his cheap self center butt!

 

However what do youi mean he "makes" you pay for stuff? No one can make you do anything. If he asks you to pay your half once - the next move is on you - and that move should be to dump his butt!

 

How on earth can you let such a petty little azzrag chip away at your self esteem?! Go find a guy who is deserving of you!

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Dump him. I am a guy and he sounds totally selfish and self centered. Making you pay for 1/2 of stuff when he invites you over? Please give me a break. He is using you for his own agenda. It doesnt sound like he even cares for you, dont believe the nonsense coming out of his mouth.

 

Frankly I am surprised he has not wanted to get with you and just using the way he is. If you are as pretty as you say you are, I dont get it.

 

He is not good for your self esteem. Go find someone who really cares for you.

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Desi, enough is enough.

You really don't need to tell us any more. We get it.

he's a user, a loser, a jerk, selfish, self-centred, a cheapskate and generally a total bag of shyt.

Now please listen to us:

Do not contact him, and don't take any more crap from him.

Do not go to see him, do not answer his calls, do not have anything more to do with him. Don't text him, don't e-mail him don't have another single thing to do with him, ever again........

Ignore him.

He'll get the message......

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tincanmsn99 , he does that basically because as you said he is self fish and he doesnt want to get intimate because he is not sure about me . Sometimes being pretty doesnt mean evetything . He just doesnt care about me and I wish I would ahev realized it way before . Becasue at this point I feel burnt and yesterday when I was laying down next to him and saw him pleased and I was dying to have my needs fulfilled , I left his place . Most guys , as you said , would take advantage of me being on their bed , maybe he is not attracted to me enough .

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He thinks he does a lot for me though . Just becuase he took me out for dinner on my bday a few weeks ago. I could see how he almost made me pay for half , but then he said "oh well you will take me out next week "

Why have I bene so blind !!!!!

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Desi - Right now, all everyone wants to hear is that you have dumped him, and that you are never going to see him again.

 

That would be right - wouldn't it....? :confused::mad:

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Ok I will. I only have one problem and it is that I forgot an expensive coat at his place , I would like that back but I dont want to go see him again ......so I guess I should just go pick it up and leave rigth after without even talking to him .

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Yeh.

Ring him, tell him you're on your way to see a movie and meet some friends, so you have to dash, but could you quickly pass by and pick your coat up?

 

Look the part (don't have a coat!) and make yourself look pretty - just dash in, and dash out again - tell him you're running late - then - adios!!

Don't tell him he's never going to see you again - let that be his surprise, and our little secret!! :p:D

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Ok I will. I only have one problem and it is that I forgot an expensive coat at his place , I would like that back but I dont want to go see him again ......so I guess I should just go pick it up and leave rigth after without even talking to him .

 

 

go over to his place, take your coat, tell him it's over, then leave. You don't even owe a jerk like this an explanation.

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yes.

That's better, if you feel you can do it.

 

It takes courage and determination.

If you can do it that way - do it.

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Ok I will. I only have one problem and it is that I forgot an expensive coat at his place , I would like that back but I dont want to go see him again ......so I guess I should just go pick it up and leave rigth after without even talking to him .

 

You go to the door and when he answers say the way you normally would "hi" and ask to be let in if you have to (and I wouldn't put it past this schmo).

Then you go directly to get your coat - if he is talking - just pacify him however you can to get the coat and then get the heck outta there.

Call out over your shoulder that you do not want anymore contact with him and that it is over.

 

Then you do not respond to any of his messages or phone calls.

Just IGNORE the cheap disgusting lecherous wretch.

 

He is a lower life form than pond scum and they are single cell organisms. You can't get much lower than that if it is at all possible.

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