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Communication problem


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Old 22nd February 2009, 3:30 AM   #1
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Communication problem

If a guy is attractive, but you just find out that he can't speak English properly or speak it very well.

What do you think? Is this a turn off or more interesting? Do you think it's even hard to make friends with them?
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Old 22nd February 2009, 3:48 AM   #2
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Do you mean that English is his first or second language? Because that makes a difference. If it's his first language and he can't speak the freaking thing and he's about my age - we have a problem. But if it's his second language...I don't know. It would really depend on the guy or the situation. It would be a case-by-case. I wouldn't necessarily write him off just because he had difficulty with it (if it were anything other than his 1st language).
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Old 22nd February 2009, 3:52 AM   #3
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Most of the members of my family are immigrants and they still have trouble with English, so no, it wouldn't bother me in the least, nor would it make me any more interested than I would be otherwise.

I would, however, think highly of him because it takes a lot of hard work and guts to make it in a foreign country. I certainly wouldn't be nearly as successful if I moved to Japan or Germany or something. I'd have a lot of respect for him for having the strength to try.
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Old 22nd February 2009, 3:08 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by SoulSearch_CO View Post
Do you mean that English is his first or second language? Because that makes a difference. If it's his first language and he can't speak the freaking thing and he's about my age - we have a problem. But if it's his second language...I don't know. It would really depend on the guy or the situation. It would be a case-by-case. I wouldn't necessarily write him off just because he had difficulty with it (if it were anything other than his 1st language).
Sorry......didn't say it clearly. I mean Englsih as his second language.
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Old 22nd February 2009, 3:12 PM   #5
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By the way, English is my second language, but I am not that attractive guy
I just find it hard to speak with people because it's difficult to join their conversation and like kind of disruption if I join in.

And people don't talk to me too................so it's just hard to make more friends
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Old 22nd February 2009, 5:43 PM   #6
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The best way to overcome those issues, is to work extra hard at your language classes. And those classes are a good place to meet people who are in the same situation as you.

A speech therapist can also help. While they normally help people who have speech impediments, like lisping or stammering, they can help you learn how to properly use your lips, tongue, mouth to form the correct position to make certain sounds that you did not have in your native language. In my native language, for example, there is no w sound, so everything in English that has a w, I would naturally pronounce as a v. It takes time to learn to change your native physical speech patterns into new ones.

Good luck to you!

Last edited by norajane; 22nd February 2009 at 5:46 PM..
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Old 22nd February 2009, 10:30 PM   #7
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Thanks for your advice!!

but I am in university now and don't have any language class. And most of my classmates are English speaking people, so.......

This language barrier makes me afraid of speaking to the girl I like because it makes me sound stupid and can't talk in a very natural way
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Old 22nd February 2009, 11:11 PM   #8
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Then sign up for a class! There's nothing preventing you from doing that. If your university does not offer them, a nearby community college or learning center will.

Your best option is to improve your spoken language skills.
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Old 22nd February 2009, 11:22 PM   #9
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Then sign up for a class! There's nothing preventing you from doing that. If your university does not offer them, a nearby community college or learning center will.

Your best option is to improve your spoken language skills.
I agree with norajane.

And you can watch the news and repeat what they say - try to say the words just as they do.

When I was taking Spanish I watched the Spanish channels on TV for a little while each day and it really helped me learn quickly and pick up the accent.
My accent is so good now that when I speak Spanish most think I am fluent (I am not) and BOY do they start speaking fast! lol
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Old 23rd February 2009, 2:21 AM   #10
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You sound just fine in writing. Maybe your thoughts are just getting jumbled. Because it looks to me like you have the concepts just fine (meaning like you're not switching words around, which I notice a lot with foreign speakers). I agree with the other two - practice, practice, practice. Being around people that speak it (or just watching A LOT of news) really could help your confidence.
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