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Sinking deeper.....and deeper


yonex

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Hi I hope this the right place to come for help because I feel like I'm just sinking deeper and deeper even though I'm trying to forget about this!

 

There is this girl I met on vacation and we hanged out a couple times...we actually lived close to each other so we added each other on facebook. She said she wanted to see me sometime so I sent her a message about a week ago and I got no response but I know she goes on Facebook often. I don't wanna message her again sounding like a desperate stalker but I wish she just messaged me..this is really making me feel depressed.

 

I don't like being ignored and if she just messaged me telling me why she doesn't wanna see me I would be fine with that. I'm really tempted to write her another message if she doesn't respond within my patient waiting time.

 

Maybe I'll go to her school and wait for her to leave so I can speak to her directly.

 

For some reason I cant let this just blow over...

 

I really don't know what to do now....

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Show up at her door in the middle of the night crying, and wearing her clothes that you stole out of her bedroom while she was out. Sure she might call the police, but that is just code for "I love you"

 

Kidding!!

 

I would wait and then write her an honest letter from the heart. have a few female freinds that you trust review it so you know your not saying anything crazy and see what happens. if she does not love you then you are out of luck I know heart ache sucks but give it time and you will heal. go out with friends find things to distract yourself.

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Joe, it sounds like he's only hung out with this girl a couple times. She's not his girlfriend or anything. I believe he would like to ask her out, but she hasn't responded to his FB message.

 

No offense my man, but it's pretty simple. She would have responded if she was interested. She goes on FB often, so she obviously saw that she had a message, but she's either chosen not to read it or not to respond. Let this one go. It sucks, I know, but there is nothing more you should do. Be proud that you took a chance and put yourself out there, but this looks like a no-go.

 

No one likes being ignored, but when you don't get answers from someone else, you have to make them for yourself. She's not interested in talking to you. What did your message say, if you dont mind me asking? You can be general, I dont expect a word for word, but what did you say?

 

If you show up at her school, you ARE a weird stalker guy. That would be an instant turn off and call to the police for a lot of people. That litterally IS stalking someone who wouldn't respond to an email. The only thing left to do is pick yourself up, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Love stinks - haven't you heard the song? Do not try and contact her again at all, its pointless, and you'll feel like crap all over again.

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oh man...this is really hard to let this go...its like I'm trying to let it go but I always think about it like 80% of the day.

 

I'm not sure why you want to know the message but it was generally asking if she wanted to hangout sometime....

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Phone number. You gotta get the phone number somehow so you can call her and ask her on a date. That's the only way to know.

 

I don't trust electronic means of communicating that much.

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CommitmentPhobe

I don't like being ignored and if she just messaged me telling me why she doesn't wanna see me I would be fine with that. .

 

No, you would be on here asking what to do to change her mind.

 

If you want to stop thinking about her 80% of the day then start thinking of her taking a dump, then associate her with a dump, that will soon sort you out.

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Yea I don't know her number and if I got it by hacking or any other illegal methods she would think I'm an ultimate stalker. She picks up the phone and says how did you get my number....screwed

 

Taking a dump kinda funny but this is really not helping at all.

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Yea I don't know her number and if I got it by hacking or any other illegal methods she would think I'm an ultimate stalker. She picks up the phone and says how did you get my number....screwed

 

Taking a dump kinda funny but this is really not helping at all.

 

 

Listen my friend, I'm not trying to be rude, but facts are facts. She saw your FB message and didnt respond. She may have a BF or ex, like I said before. Having her number or any other way to contact her would not help at all. Do you really think shes going to answer and be happy to hear from you if she cant even return a FB message?

 

Whatever happened, she lost interest. The reason I asked about your message is simply to see if you may have said something to make her run, but if it was a general lets hang out message, then she just wasnt interested. Either way, this much is clear: its a dead end.

 

Maybe one day she'll think back and respond, but thats probably a 2% chance. She's clearly not interested, and you need to stop trying to contact her at all.

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Oh thanks for giving me 2% hope....better than 1% right?

 

oh god... ;(

 

 

You missed my point.

 

I was trying to tell you to GIVE UP hope, not encourage holding onto it. I dont mean to be harsh, but it is what it is.

 

She's not interested. Case closed.

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How about messenging her again and talking about something more general...I say this because she responded that time when I asked her some other things...

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Seems like you are already in a bad mentality. Just forget about the message for a while. And find some other girl to hang out with. That's all there is to it. You'll be fine in the long run.

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How about messenging her again and talking about something more general...I say this because she responded that time when I asked her some other things...

 

Let me break down how irrational this thought it.

 

So, you asked her to do something some time...no response.

 

Now youre considering asking her something general, like, how are you? Even if she does respond, your intention is to go on a date with her, not meet a pen pal. You dont want her to JUST respond, even though it seems like youre doing anything and everything to rationalize doing ANYTHING to get a response.

 

And trust me, some times no news it good news. Do you want her to write back instead and say 'I think youre a jackass, and smell weird'? NO!

 

Get it through your head: she is NOT interested in you. Getting her to respond, talking to her in person, or sending another message is NOT going to help that. And then you'll just look and feel even more pathetic if you get snubbed again.

 

THIS ONE IS DONE! YOU NEED TO GIVE IT UP!

 

I dont mean to be harsh, but honestly...open your eyes a bit and realize whats going on here. Its like youre purposefully trying to ignore the obvious truth.

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Let me break down how irrational this thought it.

 

So, you asked her to do something some time...no response.

 

Now youre considering asking her something general, like, how are you? Even if she does respond, your intention is to go on a date with her, not meet a pen pal. You dont want her to JUST respond, even though it seems like youre doing anything and everything to rationalize doing ANYTHING to get a response.

 

And trust me, some times no news it good news. Do you want her to write back instead and say 'I think youre a jackass, and smell weird'? NO!

 

Get it through your head: she is NOT interested in you. Getting her to respond, talking to her in person, or sending another message is NOT going to help that. And then you'll just look and feel even more pathetic if you get snubbed again.

 

THIS ONE IS DONE! YOU NEED TO GIVE IT UP!

 

I dont mean to be harsh, but honestly...open your eyes a bit and realize whats going on here. Its like youre purposefully trying to ignore the obvious truth.

 

 

I dont know about you but I like to know "why" hence I'm a very curious person. If she said I don't want to because your a ugly stalker jackass prick it would hurt at first but I would be able to move on and not always wonder how I messed this up. Understand now? Its like there's this sword thats stuck in my back always reminding me of "WHY".

 

But I guess I will never know unless I take the extreme action of trying to talk to her in person....atleast I cant be charged with "stalking".

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I dont know about you but I like to know "why" hence I'm a very curious person. If she said I don't want to because your a ugly stalker jackass prick it would hurt at first but I would be able to move on and not always wonder how I messed this up. Understand now? Its like there's this sword thats stuck in my back always reminding me of "WHY".

 

But I guess I will never know unless I take the extreme action of trying to talk to her in person....atleast I cant be charged with "stalking".

 

Here is a story.

 

I was with a woman for 5 years, lived together, she was the love of my life and I wanted to marry her. She knew how I felt, said the same, assured me that things were just fine, and we would have a great life together.

 

Then, she just dumped me. 'It just didnt work out' was about the extent of what I got from her. I would love to know her reasons, and what happened, and what I did to make her change her mind, but I never will. Trying to get answers from her was not an option, she didnt want to talk about anything, it was over from her point of view - nothing to talk about.

 

Moral of the story is that you dont need to know why, you just need to take things for what they are. Everyone would like a full and detailed breakdown of what someone found wrong about them, but in the history of dating, I would guess less than 10% of people ever get that curtesy. Lying is so much easier, and makes you feel less guilty, so thats what people go with.

 

And if she did tell you, you wouldnt believe it anyway, or you would try and change whatever she pointed out, thinking that would change her mind. It wont, her mind is made up, and thats all there is to it.

 

I hope you know Im just trying to help. I just dont want you to dwell on this for too long, because it wont help.

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wow if that happened to you then ouch....(takes the double sided axe of WHY out of your back)

 

but atleast you got the option to talk with her right...I really dont even have that.

 

Anyways I'm just gonna go on with life and try and not think about it eventhough I'll think about it for about 90% of the day as usual.

 

Thanks ppl for your help!

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