gopher Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 In some of my other posts, I've talked about how I've been taking a break from dating and just enjoying my life. I also mentioned that I wanted to meet someone in real life, not online dating or a specific event geared for singles. That said, I'm a member at a health club and play tennis on Mondays. There is a woman who works at the tennis counter, and is very cute, friendly and has a great personality. In short, she is exactly my type. Based on her kids age and just a guess, she could be anywhere from 6-10 years younger than me. About a month ago, we were talking about about being back in the dating scene, and I spontaniously asked her if she wanted to go out sometime. We seemed to have fun talking and some chemistry, so I thought why not. Well, she was surpised, at my unexpected date offer, seemed to not know what to say and so I quickly said to keep me in mind. She said she would....and we left it at that. Since then, we still have a nice conversation when I am at the health club, I see her maybe a couple times a week and always say hello and she gives me a big smile when she sees me. But, I've left the whole dating thing in her court...she's been divorced about a year and the last thing I want to do to any woman, is make them uncomfortable...especially since she is working. I've been around enough to know that sometimes people are just being nice and friendly as opposed to showing interest. But in the time since I asked her out, she's come out and watched the group of us that play tennis a few times and then today, she was checking me in and couldn't find me in the computer, and jokingly said she wanted to keep me around for a while...and I said, she could keep me as long as she wanted to., and of course she laughed. My question is...she knows I was interested...Will she give me a hint if she wants to go out or come right out and say something?...I'm finally healthy enough to just let this be, and just enjoy talking to her each week...But, I'm unsure, any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
peteyj Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 You should have actually said a date and time rather than just 'sometime.' At this point there is nothing more you can do. If you really want to go out with her then mention something about going out for a drink or a bite to eat on a certain day. If she has the same sort of response, she's just being nice and you walk away. At this point she knows you like her but the whole 'sometime' is just too informal and indecisive. If you want to go out with her, tell her when and see what she says. Link to post Share on other sites
RRyan65 Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 I like your initial approach, but since you see her regularly, she has all the time to consider whether to take your offer. Hence, she's interested, but she still has room to figure you out some more (checking you out at tennis and 'keeping you around for a while' tells it all) Look at it some more from her point of view. If she rushes to call you, and you don't turn out to be that cool, she now has to deal with you coming in and out of the health club and possibly breathing down her neck (not that you're that type of person, but there are guys that are pushy like that who don't have a clue). She's interested, but my feeling is that she's really weighing the risks right now. Not that I'm suggesting this as the most viable option, but I almost see a guaranteed date, if you quit the health club she works at, lol. Another tip, if she still shows these signs of interest (which are clear as day) maybe you can lightly joke to her, after a while, and say "so, have you considered my invite to lunch?" or something like that. Link to post Share on other sites
d0ll Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 I agree with Ryan If I were her i'd like to check you out more before agreeing to anything which she seems to be doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gopher Posted January 28, 2009 Author Share Posted January 28, 2009 Thanks for the advice....One other thing I forgot to mention was the next week after I asked her, she had her hair done differently, like she had curled it and also pulled out pictures of her kids to show me, and I showed her mine. Finally, the main thing that originally made me back off was after I asked her, she said something about her ex-husband having been 12 years older than her. I wasn't sure of the age difference between us, so I have backed off to not make her uncomfortable everytime she sees me. But, from what you guys are saying, maybe I should drop another hint... Link to post Share on other sites
Author gopher Posted January 28, 2009 Author Share Posted January 28, 2009 One last post on this....I saw my counselor today and I mentioned the incident on Monday. She likes that I'm open to meeting someone new, especially in my day to day life and not through online dating..... But, I realized after talking to her, that I most likely personalized this encounter with the tennis desk woman, and that it really wasn't interest on her part. Link to post Share on other sites
d0ll Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 One last post on this....I saw my counselor today and I mentioned the incident on Monday. She likes that I'm open to meeting someone new, especially in my day to day life and not through online dating..... But, I realized after talking to her, that I most likely personalized this encounter with the tennis desk woman, and that it really wasn't interest on her part. how so? you saw what you wanted to see? Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 how so? you saw what you wanted to see? I think we all do that! Don't pathologize normal feelings! I agree with the poster who said she is checking you out. Don't do anything. Smile, flirt, but don't ask her out again. Make her wonder....is he still interested? Her curiosity will peak her interest even more. Besides, you see her all the time. No need to rush anything. Have fun with it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author gopher Posted January 29, 2009 Author Share Posted January 29, 2009 I think we all do that! Don't pathologize normal feelings! I agree with the poster who said she is checking you out. Don't do anything. Smile, flirt, but don't ask her out again. Make her wonder....is he still interested? Her curiosity will peak her interest even more. Besides, you see her all the time. No need to rush anything. Have fun with it! Yes, that's kind of what I thought...that maybe I just saw something I hoped was interest. I like that advice Cherry, and that's what I've been doing anyway, being flirty, but talking to her for less time, just being respectful...So I'll stick with it and see what develops. No harm in that and I will have some fun with it at the same time. Link to post Share on other sites
Still Trying Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Yep, keep it really loose and fun. I don't see any harm in continuing to flirt and you might find a natural in to asking her out again - don't go out of your way to do this but it may sort of come up naturally in one of your conversations. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gopher Posted February 3, 2009 Author Share Posted February 3, 2009 I saw her last night and we flirted a bit, at least it felt like flirting...She had been tanning and since they wear blue polo shirts, I told her she looked like a smurf...a really hot smurfette...LOL....she said she liked the sounds of that. So, as someone else mentioned, I'm just keeping light and playful.... On another note, one of my female friends is trying to fix me up with a new woman at church...she seems really nice, our kids are around the same age and she is pretty cute. Neither of these is anything yet, and most likely won't be, but it's nice to know that I can meet people irl and have possibilities instead of having to rely on online dating. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 keep in mind that she may be currently dating someone. she may want to date you - but might need to wait until she is available. your ability to continue to flirt with her is a good healthy sign of interaction from her end. just wait and see if she suggests getting together - it may not be now- but it may be later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gopher Posted February 4, 2009 Author Share Posted February 4, 2009 Thanks...That is good advice and makes sense....If anything develops, I'll post about it. But, I'll continue keeping it light with her... Link to post Share on other sites
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