redant Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 While in a relationship does a guy get upset if you refuse sex or don't want to? This is after you have had sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Like if you "aren't in the mood?" If my boyfriend will try to "seduce me" and I'm not really feeling it, he won't get upset, usually he will try to turn me on! Most of the time it works. There are times when I'm just not feeling it, therefore I will just let him know. He is a little disappointed, but he'll live. You can't be at his sexual beck and call all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 A good guy wont make you feel like crap for not wanting it. However there are some guys out there that will. An ex of mine, if I turned him down he'd turn around and say, "oh well someone will give it up to me". There's a reason he's an ex Link to post Share on other sites
Author redant Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 Yea I am usually ok and enjoy, but yea do I HAVE to be ready everytime he is stimulated? I'd like to feel as if I want to also. He has not said anything, but I was just asking. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 A good guy wont make you feel like crap for not wanting it. However there are some guys out there that will. An ex of mine, if I turned him down he'd turn around and say, "oh well someone will give it up to me". There's a reason he's an ex What a jerk!!! Those are guys who think with their "ya know" instead of their brain lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Yea I am usually ok and enjoy, but yea do I HAVE to be ready everytime he is stimulated? I'd like to feel as if I want to also. He has not said anything, but I was just asking. No, you don't have to feel that way everytime. If he gets pissed off that you turn him down then he is a jerk, and it's good to see what kind of guy he really is. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 This is why sexual compatibility is key within a relationship. If you're both high, medium or low drive individuals, this kind of thing won't be an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
boxing123 Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Just make sure you do not turn down a girl.. Gives her a huge complex she won't forget. Men might just get irritated. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 What a jerk!!! Those are guys who think with their "ya know" instead of their brain lol. No kidding! I remember that night very clearly, he advertised his number on myspace. I sure picked a winner that time lol This is why sexual compatibility is key within a relationship. If you're both high, medium or low drive individuals, this kind of thing won't be an issue. I agree with this, but there will be times one or the other just wont be feeling it. I do think that a high/medium or low/medium could work too, it just takes a bit more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author redant Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 Ha funny boxing I think you are right. I want something meaningful. Having alot of sex does not always feel so meaningful esp. when I don't want to. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Ha funny boxing I think you are right. I want something meaningful. Having alot of sex does not always feel so meaningful esp. when I don't want to. Yeah, if you have tons of sex all the time it's not as special as if you just have a romantic night together and make it special. Plus having tons of sex tends to get repetitive sometimes. I think it's better when you have missed each other! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Yeah, if you have tons of sex all the time it's not as special as if you just have a romantic night together and make it special. Plus having tons of sex tends to get repetitive sometimes. I think it's better when you have missed each other! *raises hand* I totally disagree! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 If I have sex a lot once we are at the point, I get bored and tired of it later on. I lose interest. Yet at the same time, when we first start having sex, I want it a lot. I confuse myself Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 *raises hand* I totally disagree! Me too! While I agree it's awesome to reconnect physically when you've missed each other - as in, literally have been physically apart - I don't think having lots of sex on a regular basis makes it any less special than a purposeful romantic evening. I did feel bad on Sunday night when I had to turn down my BF. I had skiied more challenging slopes than I was used to all weekend, and could barely move - my legs and hips were killing me. He kept trying to caress and then grope me... it was only when I'd yelp he'd stop. I was quite funny, actually. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Me too! While I agree it's awesome to reconnect physically when you've missed each other - as in, literally have been physically apart - I don't think having lots of sex on a regular basis makes it any less special than a purposeful romantic evening.Shake it up and keep it unpredictable! This means both of you, not just one partner. Just more sexual compatibility issues besides drive. Don't get lazy or stuck in one position, place or if you're into it, thing! I did feel bad on Sunday night when I had to turn down my BF. I had skiied more challenging slopes than I was used to all weekend, and could barely move - my legs and hips were killing me. He kept trying to caress and then grope me... it was only when I'd yelp he'd stop. I was quite funny, actually.Ouch. You must have been hobbling around on Monday. When I used to ski a lot, the first time each year no matter how much I worked out beforehand, always got to me. I used to hobble around the office, with people calling me hop-along! Link to post Share on other sites
chris250 Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 It seems like it's ok for a woman to turn a guy down for sex but it's not ok for a man to turn a woman down when he's not in the mood. If you don't believe me read some of the threads here. There have been many occasions when a woman posts that "my boyfriend won't have sex with me" and the advice here is usually that she should call it quits with him and move on to some other guy who will always be in the mood for sex. So if it's ok for a woman to turn down sex when she's not in the mood why isn't it ok for the man to do the same? Why must I be obligated to have sex with her on her terms? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Shake it up and keep it unpredictable! This means both of you, not just one partner. Just more sexual compatibility issues besides drive. Don't get lazy or stuck in one position, place or if you're into it, thing! Precisely! (I'm getting excited to see him tonight...) Ouch. You must have been hobbling around on Monday. When I used to ski a lot, the first time each year no matter how much I worked out beforehand, always got to me. I used to hobble around the office, with people calling me hop-along! Oh yes, I was hobbling. It's all those little tiny muscles and tendons you didn't even know you had - those are what hurts! My legs have never hurt that bad in all my life! Sunday night and Monday morning he was my "man servant," as I could barely walk. My calves hurt so bad that he could barely even touch them without hurting me, although he did try to massage the tension out. So sweet. He said the same thing though - that no matter how great of shape he's in before the first few days of the season, getting his ski legs back always hurts a little. So he was very understanding of my reason for turning down the sexy time. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I think it was TBF who disagreed with me. I love having sex, I wasn't implying that you should not have sex a lot just to make it better. I'm just saying that if you have sex multiple times everyday, wouldn't you be a little tired? I DEF. think you should have sex on a regular basis. It's special and nice in a relationship. I guess it depends on what your def. of "tons of sex" is too. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I love having sex, I wasn't implying that you should not have sex a lot just to make it better. I'm just saying that if you have sex multiple times everyday, wouldn't you be a little tired? Nope, never did tire of it and I'll leave it at that! It's a drive thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 It's a drive thing. It sure is. Admittedly, mine ebbs and flows a little due to hormones and sports injuries. But when it's on... Woah boy. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Nope, never did tire of it and I'll leave it at that! It's a drive thing. Yeah, true. Everybody's is different. Link to post Share on other sites
eclipseIDE Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 It seems like it's ok for a woman to turn a guy down for sex but it's not ok for a man to turn a woman down when he's not in the mood. If you don't believe me read some of the threads here. There have been many occasions when a woman posts that "my boyfriend won't have sex with me" and the advice here is usually that she should call it quits with him and move on to some other guy who will always be in the mood for sex. So if it's ok for a woman to turn down sex when she's not in the mood why isn't it ok for the man to do the same? Why must I be obligated to have sex with her on her terms? I like how this was ignored by the women on this thread. Women flip out if a guy turns them down. Also, even if I wasnt in the mood I would always still try to please my ex orally or some other type foreplay and I never thought being tired was a valid excuse. I always made sure she was happy because I didnt want her to stray from me. Women are just self centered and think everything should be on their terms when it benefits them. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I like how this was ignored by the women on this thread. Women flip out if a guy turns them down. Also, even if I wasnt in the mood I would always still try to please my ex orally or some other type foreplay and I never thought being tired was a valid excuse. I always made sure she was happy because I didnt want her to stray from me. Women are just self centered and think everything should be on their terms when it benefits them. If someone is going to stray it is because they are not happy all around, not just because they don't get sex when exactly they want it. It needs to be on both person's terms. It's not all about one person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author redant Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 Should I ask him if it bothered him? Maybe we could communicate about it. It's hard to know when and what to bring up. Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I love having sex, I wasn't implying that you should not have sex a lot just to make it better. I'm just saying that if you have sex multiple times everyday, wouldn't you be a little tired? By tired do you mean sore? Link to post Share on other sites
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