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Do guys ever really "friendzone" girls?


prettybaby

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I know that girls can easily friendzone guys and never consider them in a romantic way, EVER. But how does it work for guys? Once they friendzone a girl, is she doomed with the friend label until the end of eternity?

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Yes, girls can be friend-zoned. Doomed until the end of eternity... or until she gets him really drunk, lol. Seriously though, it's just like when a girl puts a guy in that category. It all depends on the reasons whether or not it will ever change. If a girl becomes friends with a guy because he's a creepy geek with a good heart I doubt she'd ever change her mind. But if a girl friend-zoned someone because she doesn't want to lose them and relationships just screw things up... then that's a different story. So my answer is a definitive yes, no, and maybe.

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Just because you're a chick, doesn't mean we're going to turn into horn-dogs.

 

I personally have done that many times because I am not attracted to them physically. That's the first step on the Friendzone ladder. Second is, you're kinda cute, but you're freakin' clingy. No. Sup friend?

 

Third is, you're cute, fun, but you've got issues. Each level comes at different times when you realize certain things after spending enough time if you're physically attracted.

 

Don't be a stalker/creeper like this one girl who texted me, came to my work (I was on break luckily and she didn't see me), and then texted me again...I called her and she didn't mention being at my work.

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OP, do you mean platonic friend or non-relationship friend? There is a difference.

 

And, yes, men do this, especially if they're married :D

 

Seriously, I wish I could describe the feeling. It's like I'm thinking "wow, I really like this lady; she's a great person and friend but she just doesn't make my d*ck hard and I don't think about her in that way". I can kiss her passionately (emotionally) but not feel anything sexual. I've felt this, many times, as well as the opposite (sexual) feelings, so I can discern the differences in myself. I imagine it plays out similarly in a woman, with the main difference being that, typically, a woman has a larger sample to draw experience from.

 

Yes, those feelings can change. For a great example of the dynamic, and how I recently had to deal with it, read my "Three cats and a mouse" journal. I've had to distance myself from one party, a really longtime good friend, because I saw that my feelings had changed.

 

Does that help? :)

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A guy will friend-zone a girl because she's not physically attractive to him. Unless she can change that, she's most likely doomed.

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LucreziaBorgia

Yes, definitely. Usually for two reasons: he is not attracted enough to you to have sex, or having a relationship would be more trouble than it is worth and even casual sex would pose too many complications.

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Yes it does happen for a variety of reasons.

 

A big one is you are just not physically attracted to her. She does nothing for you physically. She may be nice, whatever but you have no desire to sleep with her.

 

Another one is she has issues. Issues could be that she is bitter, is into odd things, insecure, is a sl*t, to much drama in her life or has extreme opinions about any variety of topics.

 

An example is I have a friend who is now born again. Her religious views cannot coexist with any except hers and her life is totally centric around her new found religion. Nothing wrong with that but I have 0 desire to be with her physically.

 

A last one is you have sex issues. For example you either you dont like sex or have tremendous guilt about it. Neither one is fun to deal with from a guy's viewpoint.

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I can kiss her passionately (emotionally) but not feel anything sexual.

 

See, I don't understand this. If I'm capable of kissing someone passionately, I'm capable of feeling sexually about someone. I would never french kiss a platonic friend.

 

This reminds me of my post about whether guys are attracted if they kiss you in a certain way.

 

I guess everyone is different.

 

BTW, I have been friendzoned a couple of times for different reasons. It's not fun, but at least I understand what it feels like.

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GUys friendzone women all the time. Why does this seem hard to believe? Guys arent attracted to , and ready to have sex with every single girl they meet. Guys have standards as well...

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What is a friendzone... well the friendzone in my mind is something misinformed guys worry about. If a guy goes about building a relationship with a girl in the form of a friendship and then claims to be stuck in the friendzone because things didn't magicaly get romantic then he only has himself to blame. The guy should have been romantic and tried to kiss the girl and stuff but he didn't because he thought it would be less risky rejection wise to just be her friend. Really a horible way to go about trying to get a gf. So no a girl can't be friendzoned. A guy is never going to say to himself boy that girls hot but I don't want to risk losing her as a friend, and for the most part girls arn't expected to be agressive in the same way a guy is so its not weird if a girl is just your friend and doesn't try to kiss you. a girl should be more worried about becoming a friends with benefits. A girl a guy enjoys having sex with but doesn't want to enter any kind of comited relationship with.

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I know that girls can easily friendzone guys and never consider them in a romantic way, EVER. But how does it work for guys? Once they friendzone a girl, is she doomed with the friend label until the end of eternity?

 

Not really IME.

 

The if a girl is in the 'friendzone' it just means there is some reason the guy won't or can't nail her. Maybe he's married, or she's not attractive to him or maybe he can't figure out how to get her pants off, but "let's just be friends" is more a chick thing.

 

If a guy uses that line he's probably a pansy.

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Not really IME.

 

The if a girl is in the 'friendzone' it just means there is some reason the guy won't or can't nail her. Maybe he's married, or she's not attractive to him or maybe he can't figure out how to get her pants off, but "let's just be friends" is more a chick thing.

 

If a guy uses that line he's probably a pansy.

 

Not fair to speak for all guys. There's a possibility a guy might genuinely respect/care about the girl but just not have romantic feelings for her.

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Not fair to speak for all guys. There's a possibility a guy might genuinely respect/care about the girl but just not have romantic feelings for her.

 

Thus use of the word probably. Words mean things.

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Not fair to speak for all guys. There's a possibility a guy might genuinely respect/care about the girl but just not have romantic feelings for her.

 

yeah only if its like the boss's daughter or some person they work with

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See, I don't understand this. If I'm capable of kissing someone passionately, I'm capable of feeling sexually about someone. I would never french kiss a platonic friend.

 

TC, one can kiss passionately without using their tongue. It's a "I'm so happy you're in my life; you've been a great support to me and I appreciate it" type kiss. No worries, I also hug and kiss men too :D

 

Kissing is kinda off the topic of friendzoning someone, but I can definitely tell you that I learned everything I know about friendly kissing from women :)

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Once they friendzone a girl, is she doomed with the friend label until the end of eternity?

pretty much...yes

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Well yeah, I think it works the same both ways- once you've been friend-zoned... there is no way out.

 

Once I have friend-zoned a guy, there will never be a change in my feelings- ever. I think it works the same way for men.

 

The only saving grace is if you were never truly friend-zoned. Some people may put you in Limbo.

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Well yeah, I think it works the same both ways- once you've been friend-zoned... there is no way out.

true, for real friendships. but you can be acquaintances or very casual "friends" who see each other rarely and still turn into lovers :lmao:

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The only saving grace is if you were never truly friend-zoned. Some people may put you in Limbo.
That's a good description for that zone. I usually call these guys friends with intent.
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That's a good description for that zone. I usually call these guys friends with intent.

 

They intend to be a boyfriend, we intend to ask them for advice regarding prospective boyfriends...:rolleyes:

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Well yeah, I think it works the same both ways- once you've been friend-zoned... there is no way out.

 

Once I have friend-zoned a guy, there will never be a change in my feelings- ever. I think it works the same way for men.

 

The only saving grace is if you were never truly friend-zoned. Some people may put you in Limbo.

 

This is interesting. I can see telling a guy I didn't see anything romantic developing for now and then changing my mind a year or two later. I don't think it's likely, but possible, for sure.

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if she is not attractive then, yeah

 

This is probably the key difference. For every guy I know the girl is either (let's just put this bluntly, OK?) doable or not and we know really fast which she is. If not she get's an instant ride to friend town. If she's doable then other factors come into play like whether the guy is even in a place to do her and so on, but that is an ongoing evaluation and subject to life and all it's little surprises.

 

My experience with women is that there is a period of time more or less when a guy is sort of in an undefined state, and then eventually he either makes something happen or gets the dreaded 'let's just be friends' chat. This is usually a one way trip to 'not getting laid by me-ville' and it's extremely hard to get a ticket back.

 

So for most guys the LBF thing means either you're not attractive to them or they just can't justify the fallout.

 

Girls seem more complex.

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CommitmentPhobe

I friendzone girls

 

1 Not attractive to me

2 Attractive to me but incompatible and looking for something serious (I'll only "nail" women that are out for fun)

 

I do like having female friends where there's mutual attraction, something special about that.

 

I don't frienzone psyscho women I just steer well clear.

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