mara80 Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 Ok... ..there's this person I've met on a weekend evening out. I wasn't really planning to meet people...recently broke up with someone, so i wasn't really in the mood. That was two weeks ago...met once, had a tea....he was calling quite often. I was kinda busy so i was sort of unavailable initially..then I left abroad for 5 days (never told him to whom and for what - playing mysterious you know). Eventually we had a second date...which was a double date, cause we included to do some matchmaking for two friends of ours...and the double date was a FIASCO...he answered when should we see each other....i gave a more than vague answer. then we talked, i sort of reassured him i was still going to see him... he texted me on friday...i called and he asked if i was going to do anything for the weekend 9 said don't have plans but have to finish some stuff). sunday, being away from the city, i texted him something funny and casual...he replied....i replied back....and he didn't answer.... i sent a second text towards the evening....NADA. NIENTE. RIEN. NOTHING. OH WELL,...THE FACT IS THAT HE IS GOING TO LEAVET EH COUNTRY FOR THE NEXT TWO MOTHS OR SO. OK I KNOW THERE'S NOT MUCH WE DID/HAD.... BUT WHAT ON EARTH SHOULD I DO???? I FEAR REJECTION...AND I ALSO KNOW THAT WHEN A MAN IS INTERESTED IN YOU, HE CALLS...EVEN IF HE LEAVES TOMORROW ORR THE OTHER DAY... BUT I AM CONSIDER CALLING HIM AND ASKING HIM FOR A DATE:0 SO WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO? CALL? WAIT? LEAVE IT? thanks a lot mara Link to post Share on other sites
Author mara80 Posted October 27, 2008 Author Share Posted October 27, 2008 yet? i've been really hoping to see some opinions, u know? Link to post Share on other sites
Stockalone Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 You could contact him to wish him a safe trip or a nice vacation (depends on why he is leaving). And tell him that you are looking forward to when he comes back, and that he should call you when he gets back so the two of you can make up for that "bounced" date on the weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mara80 Posted October 27, 2008 Author Share Posted October 27, 2008 and not ask him out? Link to post Share on other sites
prettybaby Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 Wow, you sound exactly like me when I was 18 I'd call him to wish him a safe trip and chat a little bit, and also suggest another date when he comes back, just like Stockalone just mentioned. I would avoid texting again. Especially if it's just "have a safe trip", which isn't a message that necessarily requires an answer on his part. He's already ignored your last two messages, so you don't wanna get into the same cycle again. Texts suck anyway, and he might not have enough credit left to respond, or he's too busy to type an answer. Just call. Be nice and casual. Hearing his voice and having a small conversation with him will already clear up the situation a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 Two unanswered texts? I wouldn't proceed to send another OR call him. You're right- if he's interested, he WILL contact you again. It's super hard to deal with any possibility of rejection, but the bottom line is that he didn't return the texts- so the ball is in his court. Calling or texting again will make you look a little desperate, and you don't want that! If he's gone away, chances are he'll get back to you when he returns if he wants to set up another date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mara80 Posted October 27, 2008 Author Share Posted October 27, 2008 yeah from my own experience..it never went well when i called...especialy after a long silence Link to post Share on other sites
Stockalone Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 yeah from my own experience..it never went well when i called...especialy after a long silence Then you should go with D-Lish's advice and wait for him to contact you, once he is back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mara80 Posted October 27, 2008 Author Share Posted October 27, 2008 he will at lest hang aorund the same pub where i go...at least it won't be after a rejection.... but really...who sez he'll call after getting back:D Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 he will at lest hang aorund the same pub where i go...at least it won't be after a rejection.... but really...who sez he'll call after getting back:D Mara, NO! I didn't mean to burst your bubble- he hangs around the same pub.... cool. The next time you see him "OH... You don't quite remember him".... Wanna have an impact? Go with that! Link to post Share on other sites
Magnatolia Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 Sorry Mara, but I think you gave him the wrong impression in the first place. If i got a girls number and she was unavailable for a length of time and then just 'vanished' for nearly a week I'd be a bit skeptical. Plus when he asked when you would see each other again, a vague answer is generally how girls get away with 'politely' rejecting a guy. I say text or call, suggesting another date. If I was in his shoes I probably would give up if the above happened to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Stockalone Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 Mara, NO! I didn't mean to burst your bubble- he hangs around the same pub.... cool. The next time you see him "OH... You don't quite remember him".... Wanna have an impact? Go with that! That would turn me off. But I am sure there are guys who will play along because they like the chase and those stupid games. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mara80 Posted October 28, 2008 Author Share Posted October 28, 2008 to all. it's so good to see the immense variety of human approaches and opinions. ...and it feels so good to see there are people that care...that are willing to share their experience, to give a piece of advice... please keep posting...as i haven't decided what to do yet... thanks a lot m Link to post Share on other sites
Author mara80 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 anyone? i stii haven't decide what to do:) Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I think it was interesting what Magnoltia said about you disappearing for a week. I realize you wanted to play a little "hard to get" but you might have confused him. From what you have written, it sounds like he has tried to tell you he is interested and that he wants to keep dating. You however, have seemed "vague" and a little distant, therefore he may just think you aren't interested in him. Now that you call and text all the time, he is probably even more confused and doesn't feel like playing with your "hot and cold" behavior. I personally would call him and tell him to have a safe trip. Don't say anything about a date, the ball is in his court now. But unfortunately, he may have just given up and wants to move on now that he is leaving. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mara80 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 WELL... the fact is I DIDN'T KEET CALLING AND TEXTING HIM.....i haven't called or texted since sunday..and neither did he:D..so....really....i think it is even more appropriate to ask: is there any point in calling? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mara80 Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 this afternoon...he said he'll call this evening...he said he'll still opackin' up....and that we should left it until the weekend...i did say that i might not be for the weekend and we settled that if he calls and i'm here, we can see eachothet NOW FRANKLY SPEAKING, I KINDA DO REGRET I CALLED....CAUSE I THINK THAT IF HE DID WANTED TO SEE ME HE WOULD HAVE DONE IT.....well, at least it should be clear for me that i am not to dial this number from my own innitiative again Link to post Share on other sites
Author mara80 Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 AND I FEEL SO BLOODY FRUSTRATED I DID IT... why on earth was i unable to control myself? now i know, that, even if i'll get a schedule for the weekend (and i will), i will be waiting for him to call me..and i'll keep looking at the telephone... COULD ANYONE TELL ME WHY ON EARTH COULD I BE SO CHILDISH? Link to post Share on other sites
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