Tryng2Trust08 Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 So,me and my boyfriend broke up, we both kind of agreed it was for the best that we take a break. I'm very dissappointed in the way I treated him, I nagged a lot and made him feel like nothing he did was good enough, I didn't realize thats how I was coming across to him. I wanted to make things better and I felt like I was just communicating my feelings, he saw it as nagging. I know the break is for the best, we were arguing too much, but I can't stop blaming myself for the things that went wrong. He never initiated arguing, was very understanding, he tried as much as he could, he was patient, always communicated well with me. I just can't stop blaming myself. We developed a friendship and I told him I don't want to just write him out of my life and there's no reason we can't still talk without the pressures of dating. He said he feels the same, but wants to chill for a little bit. Whats this mean? Link to post Share on other sites
indianlover Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 When you get a good answer to this let me know too...I got the same response from my ex-boy. Its been two weeks and I think I get what he means - for me, I relate to it in that its the idea that you dread seeing the other person because the wound still hurts and the feelings are still there. For him? I don't know maybe the idea of the awkwardness. I'm torn because I want to see him, but I know I should give him space. How much space? I don't know maybe someone else can contribute and help us both out... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tryng2Trust08 Posted October 23, 2008 Author Share Posted October 23, 2008 When you get a good answer to this let me know too...I got the same response from my ex-boy. Its been two weeks and I think I get what he means - for me, I relate to it in that its the idea that you dread seeing the other person because the wound still hurts and the feelings are still there. For him? I don't know maybe the idea of the awkwardness. I'm torn because I want to see him, but I know I should give him space. How much space? I don't know maybe someone else can contribute and help us both out... Yeah, I know exactly what you mean....I guess our break-up was more mutual, but I was the one who initiated it, he never did. He said he wasnt fulfilling some part of my emotional needs and I was miserable with him. Sigh...Im really torn. I also want to respect his space, I just don't see why we can't be kool and talk or text. I dont expect him to see me, that may be awkward right now. How we left it was he wanted me to take some time to see if I was happy not talking and seeing him and he wants me to let him know if my life is better without him... Link to post Share on other sites
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 In these situations no-one to blame, perhaps if you were right for each other you would have worked through those issues. I suggest you have a cry for the loss then try to rebuild your life without dwelling on the past. Link to post Share on other sites
ChickenAce Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 I think its sad when we lose someone. Sometimes, it can be the saddest thing in the world. I been through it, others been through it, sometimes we all got faults, sometimes we are fighting some other stuff we know nothing about. If there was some love there in the first place, maybe the time away can heal the wound or will let you know you did the right thing. In my case, all throughout I gradually felt like it was right for us two not to be together because we were just different and had no way to make it work. Link to post Share on other sites
AnonyMOUSE18 Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 I recently had a similar breakup - we both felt weird because we went too fast, and things were feeling unbalanced. We were both really disappointed, and he said he would be willing to "try again," but not for "a while." (How long should we wait? This seems similar to your question about how long to go before talking again...) It's been 1.5 months that we haven't talked. I went through a cycle of emotions, of course, feeling sometimes angry, sometimes free, sometimes full of regrets...and lately I've been just missing him and wondering how he is doing. I called him this past Sunday, and he sounded surprised and really happy to hear from me. I was sortof embarrassed to be the one that broke the no-talking thing, and I was trying to get off the phone quickly - but he kept asking questions about what is going on with me. It was great to talk to him. I'm hoping we can try again, sometime soon. How long has it been since you guys broke up? How do you feel, without him? Have you gone on any dates in the meantime? (Did you guys discuss that?) Do you think this is permanent, or that you might want to get back together, making this a cooling off / assessment period? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts