bobbyt263 Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 Hi guys, I need advice. I'm a 30yo Chinese man, not fat, but kinda sort (5'6). I have been trying to get into dating for a while without ANY success. Back when I was in grad school, people tell me not to worry, women will flock to you once you graduate and start making money. Now I'm making serious money, but those said women are no where in sight... I'm not shy. When I goto bars, I walk up to ladies and talk to them. I tell them jokes and they always laugh. But when I offer to buy them drinks, they always refuse. What's am I supposed to do other than stop being the only Chinese in the whole bar? I know some of you will suggest me to stop hitting on white chicks and focus on asian chicks. I have done so but it didn't work. In the last "asian" meet that I went to, all the pretty girls were busy talking to the few white and black guys who somehow decided to show up. It is pretty much the same thing for asian girls in the bars around me. So what's your advice? (other than switch face with Tom Cruise ) Link to post Share on other sites
spookie Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 I don't know. Stop trying to meet women in bars? Stop trying altogether? I don't think your being Chinese is the problem, nor is it your height. The guy I'm obsessed with has both those characteristics, if that makes you feel any better. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 This has nothing to do with race or height. I'm asian also and I go into bars and stuff with friends, though I don't make it a priority of hitting on girls when I go. Is it possible you're trying too hard? Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 Since you seem to think that your *serious money* is a major draw (and it IS for a lot of women), I suggest joining of the "millionaire men" dating websites. You can most likely find a hot 20-something that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 Ah don't worry women love Chinese guys. It gives them something to talk about and think about. Don't ever mention or bring up stuff like "hey I hope you like asian guys" kind of ignore the race issues in your head and when you talk and if brought up just change topic. you need to get a social group going... throw a party and get invited to parties. I'm telling you parties thrown by friends are the best ways to meet women Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 Honestly, being 5'6 drastically limits a man's options with women. Though a man's height isn't important to me personally I know that most women would not consider a man that was 5'6. You have to be more attractive, smart and charismatic than a tall man to compensate. I'm not trying to be rude but that's how it goes in the dating world. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 Hi guys, I need advice. I'm a 30yo Chinese man, not fat, but kinda sort (5'6). I have been trying to get into dating for a while without ANY success. Back when I was in grad school, people tell me not to worry, women will flock to you once you graduate and start making money. Now I'm making serious money, but those said women are no where in sight... I'm not shy. When I goto bars, I walk up to ladies and talk to them. I tell them jokes and they always laugh. But when I offer to buy them drinks, they always refuse. What's am I supposed to do other than stop being the only Chinese in the whole bar? I know some of you will suggest me to stop hitting on white chicks and focus on asian chicks. I have done so but it didn't work. In the last "asian" meet that I went to, all the pretty girls were busy talking to the few white and black guys who somehow decided to show up. It is pretty much the same thing for asian girls in the bars around me. So what's your advice? (other than switch face with Tom Cruise ) 1. Try hanging around a variety of different places - not just a bar. Try other fun singles places to hang out. 2. When it comes to physical attraction, women are alot like men. It starts with an attraction. If you don't consider yourself attractive then work toward making yourself more attractive. 3. Women are interested in how you make them feel. Charm. Humor. But its got to be genuine. 4. I'm asian (sort of ) and the majority of my ex-girlfriends are white. I'm not loaded, not attractive......so its gotta be my personality (see no 1-3) . 5. Have fun. Be yourself. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 That how you define yourself - short chinese middle aged? You need to redefine yourself with some positive descriptors, intelligent, high earning etc. etc. how else do you expect people to see you if you see yourself like this. About the short thing, you'll hear that you won't be as successful with women but apparently you shouldn't be making that much money according to the same stats and opinions etc Dude you should be a total failure in the business world according to flat earth types Link to post Share on other sites
Author bobbyt263 Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 Ah don't worry women love Chinese guys. It gives them something to talk about and think about. Don't ever mention or bring up stuff like "hey I hope you like asian guys" kind of ignore the race issues in your head and when you talk and if brought up just change topic. you need to get a social group going... throw a party and get invited to parties. I'm telling you parties thrown by friends are the best ways to meet women Maybe I need to stop hanging out so much with married friends... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bobbyt263 Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 Since you seem to think that your *serious money* is a major draw (and it IS for a lot of women), I suggest joining of the "millionaire men" dating websites. You can most likely find a hot 20-something that way. I guess I misused the phrase "serious money" I'm definitely NOT someone that a gold digger would interest. Link to post Share on other sites
CandyGirlXO Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 I agree. I don't think that being short and Asian is the problem. Stop trying to find a girl at a bar. If you want to find a girl that likes you for you don't bring up the fact that you make good money. Turn off for me and I'm a poor girl. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Jacky Chan is a short, middle-aged Chinese man... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 I agree with Spookie.. stop trying so hard.. stop going to bars.. try something else.. stop being so short.. stop being Chinese.. oops.. sorry.. are you looking for women other than your race only? Link to post Share on other sites
jusified Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 I know 5'6 is short... but it's kind of average for asian.... and it's not that short hahahaha Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Hey buddy, I'm only 5'5" so you're taller than me:) Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 My honest opinion is that your ethnicity is pulling you backwards, a little bit.. Link to post Share on other sites
muse08 Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 you'll be fine as long as you chill out and just be yourself. when you go out think of your positive characteristics and dress to make yourself feel confident. don't try being anyone, but yourself. we women can see right through that. but i think people in general like a person who's confident in their own skin. be careful to not come off as a jerk by trying to hard to appear confident... and i hope you wouldn't fall for some chic who's more concerned w/ur bank account than your intellect. and yes, stay away from the club scene for a little while and see what happens. you'll find some not so good stuff there if you frequent them enough. and you can always go online where there are people looking for all kinds of people...because this world is so complex and everyone is so unique. "someone is looking for YOU..." Link to post Share on other sites
spookie Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Get buff and go for the shorter chicks. I don't think you'll have a problem that way. The guy I'm lusting over like I've never lusted over anyone before is my height (5'8) and partly Asian (I think). Not typically my type, but his personality and gigantic muscles won me over really quickly (first glance). Link to post Share on other sites
SushiX Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Hi Bobby, I'm asian, 28 yrs old and 5'6 too and have absolutely no problem getting asian chicks. Most asian chicks are shorter then us, so there shouldn't be much of a problem. I never tried any other race, because its just not my preference. And my height isn't a factor because I wouldn't go for a woman taller than me anyways. It doesn't seem like you have any issues talking to women which is good! Just don't try too hard. Being confident is key. Talk to them as friends, don't come onto them too hard or they'll see you as desperate. Eventually you'll find someone. Goodluck! If all else fails, you can show her your Porsche. lol Link to post Share on other sites
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