Kim>E Posted February 13, 2002 Share Posted February 13, 2002 Help! I absolutely adore my live-in boyfriend but he's got HORRIBLE taste in picking out jewelry. I've tried "hinting" several times (and I'm pretty specific), but he ends up WAAAAY off the mark and I end up with something horrid. Help! I hate to be a #&@*! but my feelings are really hurt, and I don't wear the jewelry. He says he can never please me - I say he just doesn't listen. Any advice? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 13, 2002 Share Posted February 13, 2002 I don't understand why your feelings would be hurt because your boyfriend has bad taste in jewelry. That doesn't compute for me. You do have a right to be disappointed that you aren't getting what you would enjoy. I think you ought to come right out and tell your guy what your preferences are. Don't hint. Let him know that you really do appreciate his thoughtfulness and that means a great deal to you. But also let him know you have very precise tastes in jewelry and show him specifically the kinds of things you like. Any guy who cares a great deal about a woman and wants to please her would appreciate this information. If he's a real wimp, his feelings may get hurt a little bit but it's much better than you recieving a lifetime of junk jewelry you won't wear. Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Posted February 13, 2002 Share Posted February 13, 2002 Are you talking about the quality of the jewelry or the style of jewelry he picks out for you (or both)? This could all be a matter of taste, but it could also be a matter of price. If quality is what you are looking for, it will cost a bit more than average. The quality of jewelry is pretty much directly proportional to the amount of money he is willing to fork out. His range of selection, quality-wise, will be limited to the amount he wants to spend. If styling is what you are concerned about, he should not have any trouble meeting his budget constraints AND getting something you like to look at and wear. There is a certain amount of anxiety and tension that goes along with gift buying and gift receiving. Everybody wants to buy the right thing and everybody wants to get something they want or like. Your job here is to find a nice way to cut through the anxiety and tension so that both of you get what you want. There are several ways you could go about doing this. The way to go about it depends on what kind of person you are, what kind of person he is and what kind of relationship you have. The easiest way for you to go about this is to just tell him you want to pick out your own jewelry. Now this may fly with him and it may not. He may not like the idea because it takes away the surprise factor or because he simply doesn't want you to know how much he spends on you. There is a big danger in a guy taking a girl jewelry shopping. It is sooooooo easy for a guy to feel pressured into buying something that is WAY out of his price range when you combine the girl, the salesperson and a beautiful piece of jewelry. He just may not want to do it. If you want to try this with him, let him set the dollar amount BEFORE going to look and don't you dare get offended if he wants to spend less that you think he should. Don't look at or try on anything that is outside the price he sets. Keep shopping until you find something you like. If you can't find anything you like after shopping at several stores, then maybe he is right...you may not be pleasable! Now, if you think this is a good idea and you think he will go for it and you really want to get the most bang for your buck, go jewelry shopping after Valentine's Day when everything has been marked down. Help! I absolutely adore my live-in boyfriend but he's got HORRIBLE taste in picking out jewelry. I've tried "hinting" several times (and I'm pretty specific), but he ends up WAAAAY off the mark and I end up with something horrid. Help! I hate to be a #&@*! but my feelings are really hurt, and I don't wear the jewelry. He says he can never please me - I say he just doesn't listen. Any advice? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted February 13, 2002 Share Posted February 13, 2002 yeah -- tell him to stop buying you jewelry, period. If he prefers, have him just give you the money he'd spend to pick out the crappy stuff, and get something you like. Link to post Share on other sites
Kim>E Posted February 13, 2002 Share Posted February 13, 2002 Help! I absolutely adore my live-in boyfriend but he's got HORRIBLE taste in picking out jewelry. I've tried "hinting" several times (and I'm pretty specific), but he ends up WAAAAY off the mark and I end up with something horrid. Help! I hate to be a #&@*! but my feelings are really hurt, and I don't wear the jewelry. He says he can never please me - I say he just doesn't listen. Any advice? Thanks. Tony: Let me clarify – feelings are hurt (not because b/f has bad taste in jewelry) but because I feel he didn’t listen to my wishes once he asked for suggestions. He knows I enjoy jewelry (I often buy it for myself) and I’m disappointed because I know HIS feelings get hurt when I “reject” his gift. Ed: I’m talking about the style of jewelry, not the quality. Money isn’t the issue, which is why I think he gets hurt when I don’t like it (i.e. “I spent a lot of money – and you hate it!). He just seems to have a knack for picking the absolute OPPOSITE of what I’d choose myself. You also wrote: “Keep shopping until you find something you like. If you can't find anything you like after shopping at several stores, then maybe he is right...you may not be pleasable!” I have to agree with you here – I have “specific taste” (as Tony put it!) and he just isn’t clued in to that, despite my best efforts over the last few years. Thanks for all the good advice. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted February 13, 2002 Share Posted February 13, 2002 re-reading my post, I realize it sounds a bit snippy, but it's basically what I did with my husband, who felt the louder and gaudier, the better. Actually, it's more HIS style than mine, and like you, I didn't necessarily want expensive stuff, just preferred the not-so-gaudy things. He got the picture though, and we've compromised -- he doesn't get me jewelry, but if it's something I really do like and I will actually wear more often then not, he's open to suggestions. This way, no one feels bad about wasting money or not wearing something they don't like (it works for both him and me) Tony: Let me clarify – feelings are hurt (not because b/f has bad taste in jewelry) but because I feel he didn’t listen to my wishes once he asked for suggestions. He knows I enjoy jewelry (I often buy it for myself) and I’m disappointed because I know HIS feelings get hurt when I “reject” his gift. Ed: I’m talking about the style of jewelry, not the quality. Money isn’t the issue, which is why I think he gets hurt when I don’t like it (i.e. “I spent a lot of money – and you hate it!). He just seems to have a knack for picking the absolute OPPOSITE of what I’d choose myself. You also wrote: “Keep shopping until you find something you like. If you can't find anything you like after shopping at several stores, then maybe he is right...you may not be pleasable!” I have to agree with you here – I have “specific taste” (as Tony put it!) and he just isn’t clued in to that, despite my best efforts over the last few years. Thanks for all the good advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Karlee Posted February 13, 2002 Share Posted February 13, 2002 Just be thank ful that your boyfriend even buys you things and thinks of you Link to post Share on other sites
Crystal Posted February 13, 2002 Share Posted February 13, 2002 I don't understand why your feelings would be hurt because your boyfriend has bad taste in jewelry. That doesn't compute for me. You do have a right to be disappointed that you aren't getting what you would enjoy. I think you ought to come right out and tell your guy what your preferences are. Don't hint. Let him know that you really do appreciate his thoughtfulness and that means a great deal to you. But also let him know you have very precise tastes in jewelry and show him specifically the kinds of things you like. Any guy who cares a great deal about a woman and wants to please her would appreciate this information. If he's a real wimp, his feelings may get hurt a little bit but it's much better than you recieving a lifetime of junk jewelry you won't wear. ya know my guy bought me tickets to a hockey game for xmas, i HATE hockey and last year for xmas 2000, he bought me a sonic care toothbruch with two brushes one for him and one for me, hmmmm, who did he REALLY buy these things for? i know what your going through but how can you say anything without sounding greedy or selfish? that is what i would LOVE to know! Link to post Share on other sites
Lilly Posted February 14, 2002 Share Posted February 14, 2002 If my boyfriend wanted to buy me a gift of jewellry we'd go together... made a day of it looking around the shops and having lotsa fun. We'd both make suggestions and agree on something we both liked, that way we'd both end up happy as pigs in poo. It's jewellry we're talking about here, NO point spending a lot of dosh on something you wont like and wont wear just because there HAS to be an element of surprise, after all, it's the thought that counts. Keep the suprises to any other gift, any time of year. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted February 14, 2002 Share Posted February 14, 2002 I am grateful that he thinks of me, just don't like the idea of him spending money on things I'm not going to use, as I'm not much of a jewelry-wearing person. And why should I be forced to wear something gaudy if I don't wear gaudy things to begin with? Maybe for a child of mine, yes; anyone else ... uh, prolly not! Just be thank ful that your boyfriend even buys you things and thinks of you Link to post Share on other sites
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