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nothing in common


bunny

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i met this guy a few months ago, we hit it off really good and have alot of fun just hanging out. the problem is we don't seem to have much in common, but we do hang out alot together. he likes this punk music and i like country music, he likes concerts, i like peace and quiet, he likes road trips, i'm a home body.

 

do you think something like can ever work? we get along so well and so far none of these things have really caused a problem but then again none of them have really come up to any extent yet either.

 

i really like him alot but i'm afraid of getting to close emotionally for fear that later down the road these things may cause us conflict. do you think this could possibly work some how some way? i would like to think positive about it but am still afraid of how it may have to end.

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Anything can work between two extremely intelligent, mature, flexible, undemanding, compromising individuals. There aren't but a few of those around.

 

If you can go into another room and listen to your country music while he's in the living room listening to punk rock; if it's OK with the two of you if you stay home and read a book while he's off at concerts with friends; if he's OK with traveling alone or with friends while you stay at home...yes, then it certainly can work.

 

However, the odds are very much against this. There are only a few human beings on the planet evolved sufficiently to not eventually get irritated or build resentment over such an arrangement.

 

I don't feel this can work in the long run but while the newness is there and the juices are flowing, I'm sure it's nice. When the dust settles and you have to see each other for who you are, it won't be a pretty picture.

 

And why should you want it to work. There are lots of guys who like to stay home and listen to country music that would make you an excellent partner. Have you thought about going there?

 

The two of you getting together is like restoring a Rolls Royce with Cadillac parts...it's just not right.

 

You are extremely lucky to have the wisdom to think about these things now before you get serious with him and set yourself up for major hurt later.

 

Didn't anybody ever tell you the purpose of dating is to find someone you can love and with whom you can share life. There aren't many things you are sharing in this picture...the one you have painted here.

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i wasn't looking too far into the future with this i guess, i was thinking of how good it feels to be with him but i guess some where in the back of my mind iknow that you are right. i will honestly have to re-evaluate all this and decide on what to do and very soon because i don't want to get hurt in the end. i have leared to listen and enjoy some puck rock, and he also has learned a few country tunes and it is fun at times. but i'm sure in the long run these things will fester and we will run into problems specailly when one of wants to do something the other don't want to do.

Anything can work between two extremely intelligent, mature, flexible, undemanding, compromising individuals. There aren't but a few of those around. If you can go into another room and listen to your country music while he's in the living room listening to punk rock; if it's OK with the two of you if you stay home and read a book while he's off at concerts with friends; if he's OK with traveling alone or with friends while you stay at home...yes, then it certainly can work.

 

However, the odds are very much against this. There are only a few human beings on the planet evolved sufficiently to not eventually get irritated or build resentment over such an arrangement.

 

I don't feel this can work in the long run but while the newness is there and the juices are flowing, I'm sure it's nice. When the dust settles and you have to see each other for who you are, it won't be a pretty picture. And why should you want it to work. There are lots of guys who like to stay home and listen to country music that would make you an excellent partner. Have you thought about going there? The two of you getting together is like restoring a Rolls Royce with Cadillac parts...it's just not right. You are extremely lucky to have the wisdom to think about these things now before you get serious with him and set yourself up for major hurt later. Didn't anybody ever tell you the purpose of dating is to find someone you can love and with whom you can share life. There aren't many things you are sharing in this picture...the one you have painted here.

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Anything can work between two extremely intelligent, mature, flexible, undemanding, compromising individuals. There aren't but a few of those around. If you can go into another room and listen to your country music while he's in the living room listening to punk rock; if it's OK with the two of you if you stay home and read a book while he's off at concerts with friends; if he's OK with traveling alone or with friends while you stay at home...yes, then it certainly can work.

 

However, the odds are very much against this. There are only a few human beings on the planet evolved sufficiently to not eventually get irritated or build resentment over such an arrangement.

 

I don't feel this can work in the long run but while the newness is there and the juices are flowing, I'm sure it's nice. When the dust settles and you have to see each other for who you are, it won't be a pretty picture. And why should you want it to work. There are lots of guys who like to stay home and listen to country music that would make you an excellent partner. Have you thought about going there? The two of you getting together is like restoring a Rolls Royce with Cadillac parts...it's just not right. You are extremely lucky to have the wisdom to think about these things now before you get serious with him and set yourself up for major hurt later. Didn't anybody ever tell you the purpose of dating is to find someone you can love and with whom you can share life. There aren't many things you are sharing in this picture...the one you have painted here.

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Re: nothing in common

 

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Posted by Tony on Thursday, 31 January 2002, at 4:49 p.m., in response to nothing in common, posted by bunny on Thursday, 31 January 2002, at 4:04 p.m.

 

Anything can work between two extremely intelligent, mature, flexible, undemanding, compromising individuals. There aren't but a few of those around.

 

If you can go into another room and listen to your country music while he's in the living room listening to punk rock; if it's OK with the two of you if you stay home and read a book while he's off at concerts with friends; if he's OK with traveling alone or with friends while you stay at home...yes, then it certainly can work.

 

However, the odds are very much against this. There are only a few human beings on the planet evolved sufficiently to not eventually get irritated or build resentment over such an arrangement.

 

"I don't feel this can work in the long run but while the newness is there and the juices are flowing, I'm sure it's nice. "

 

i just wanted to add that he has gone to some country dancing lessons with me and i have gone to some punk concerts with him. we did have alot of fun, but his friends seem to like the punk scene. all his roommates listen to it and i am the odd one out but i have gotten to like "the smyths" not sure of the spelling. but i too am sure that in time it could/would cause problems, maybe for now i will just enjoy the time we spend together and see where life takes us. do you think people can change enough to compromise on these things? its not like they interfere right now but further down the road i can see where/how they could, still i liked your answer, your pretty receptive by being able to look at "the big picture" how do you do that?

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YOU ASK: "its not like they interfere right now but further down the road i can see where/how they could, still i liked your answer, your pretty receptive by being able to look at "the big picture" how do you do that?"

 

I use magic.

 

And I am perceptive sometimes...as well as receptive.

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