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Spending money on a date


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Old 30th August 2008, 1:15 AM   #1
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Question Spending money on a date

I went out on an "official" first date this evening...had a nice time and such...now, I do believe in paying...but....to be honest, I think I'm reading "dating" forums to much...and now I think I'm doing myself in by thinking about the content here-of.

I spent money on dinner and a movie...she didn't offer to chip in or anything.....BUT...this is a FIRST date....so perhaps I'm jumping the gun.

Also....if a woman let's you spend money on her on the first date, it typically means you're not in the friendzone, right?

Because I have known female freinds to kind of put the halt on a guy paying, and insist on paying their own way.

I did get a hug good night...we had great conversation...and when she speaks, when she talks about prospective activities, she says, "Yeah, we could do that sometime!" Or something to that affect....so she is already anticpating some kind of "future" of doing things together.

But do you think on the next date she should reciprocate resources of sorts?
(no not sex).
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Old 30th August 2008, 1:23 AM   #2
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You should have tried to kiss her. How old r u? Of course you shouldn't pay for everything what are you rich? even if u were u still shouldn't puts alot of pressure on the hole thing. Find a dollar theatre with 2.50 max tickets and only take her there. Going to a meal is a boring long date for people who don't know eachother well yet... then there breath might smell or they feel bloated and bam ur done.
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Old 30th August 2008, 1:40 AM   #3
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well if you have invited her then you should expect to pay. JMO

she should ask you at times and then you could expect her to pay... always carry money with you just in case though.

BTW - not every date needs to be about spending money. how about a day at the beach, riding bikes, hiking or a sport or hobby that you both enjoy?
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Old 30th August 2008, 3:05 AM   #4
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I think it is nice when a guy pays for the first few dates, though I usually offer to pay for my share. When he says no I thank him and then pay for drinks, coffee, tips, etc.

After the first few dates we usually alternate with paying, unless the guy makes a lot more money than me, then I keep on paying for the smaller expenses.

From what you describe I think you behaved like a real gentleman on the first date and she has a really good impression of you. I have a friend who won't go out with a guy on a seond date unless he paid for the first. I know, women!

Don't get offended if she doesn't offer to pay at the next date, she may be following dating advice that says the guy should always pay for the first few dates. If you enjoy her company, simply ask her to do things in the future that don't cost (much) money.
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Old 30th August 2008, 7:00 AM   #5
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To me the significant thing is that the two questions
"Why should the man pay?" and
"Why should women earn less for the same job?"
are linked and have the same answer, whatever answer that might be. Plenty of women don't seem as keen on equality anymore, when it's to their disadvantage. That's not living with integrity.

If you don't feel comfortable with the amount your spending, if it's too much of a sacrifice to do without expecting something in return, then lower your sacrifice. Invite your date on a Sunday walk or to a free concert. The right woman will want to be with YOU and be happy to do these non-expensive things.

Last edited by BentSpine; 30th August 2008 at 7:04 AM..
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Old 30th August 2008, 8:27 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Graduate View Post
I think it is nice when a guy pays for the first few dates, though I usually offer to pay for my share. When he says no I thank him and then pay for drinks, coffee, tips, etc.

After the first few dates we usually alternate with paying, unless the guy makes a lot more money than me, then I keep on paying for the smaller expenses.

From what you describe I think you behaved like a real gentleman on the first date and she has a really good impression of you. I have a friend who won't go out with a guy on a seond date unless he paid for the first. I know, women!

Don't get offended if she doesn't offer to pay at the next date, she may be following dating advice that says the guy should always pay for the first few dates. If you enjoy her company, simply ask her to do things in the future that don't cost (much) money.

That's good to know. I often wondered that myself

Bent Spine, we have discussed going out on the lesser expensive outings, typically outdoor related activities.

She said if I ever feel so inclined to go swimming in her pool.
So I guess that's a good sign.
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