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Question for Guys 40 - 50


Eyeofthoth

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Does a woman's age as a number only really matter to you? I am 52 but have always been noticed/asked out by younger men. My ex-husband is 43. (The age difference was not our problem.) I have recently been dating men a little older than me and the vast majority of them are not only physically much older than I am, but they are mostly in a different life stage -- free of kids and want to retire and travel. I still have kids at home.

 

A friend of a friend has set me up with a guy who I just found out is only 45. I have seen his picture and he is very attractive. She has only met me once, but apparently she told him that I was really good looking and that she thinks I am between 35 and 43!

 

I am hot, no lie. I have a great body and fortunate genetics. Also I am very healthy and come from a really long-lived family (both grandmothers lived to be 100), so it is starting to make sense to me to stick to the younger guys.

 

But I am worried this guy will be taken aback when he finds out how old I really am.

 

My thought is that the more mature and deeper people are not that interested in a number, although even I would generally prefer to stay within about 5 and definitely 10 years of my own age.

 

When I see men's profiles on on-line sites it seems that 95% of them are looking for younger women.

 

Then I see Hollywood full of these older women younger men combos and I am just wondering -- Does this take a really open-minded person, or do the guys really just care what she looks like?

 

Curious and concerned

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brothermartin

Of course men care what a woman looks like to them, but when it comes to a real relationship, I prefer a woman that is past all those emotional hang-ups and immature drama. Older women are the way to go for that. And if she's hot too,...YEAH!!;)

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Well 95% are looking for younger women. If they cannot find one, they have a large selection of older women to choose from.

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I know this thread is not for me, however I'm at loss as to how a 52yo can be confused for a 35yo, realistically speaking.

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45 is not that much younger than you. Thats the difference between me and a woman who is 41. Its not like I see soemonethat age as a mother figure (unlike some of the woman posters here who say they see guys in their own age group as father figures and chase 20 y/o's)

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I know this thread is not for me, however I'm at loss as to how a 52yo can be confused for a 35yo, realistically speaking.

 

My mom's 54 and people think she's my age (I'm 33). She's short, cute, in good shape from weight lifting, and blonde with no trace of gray, nor any wrinkles. We also have good genetics in my family.

 

Plus her attitude is very young.

 

I don't think age matters terribly much to a good quality dude, especially if you look great and are a good match.

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Well, how do you feel that people think you look like a 54 yr old woman?

 

There is no 54 yr old woman on Earth i would confuse for being 33.

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My mom's 54 and people think she's my age (I'm 33). She's short, cute, in good shape from weight lifting, and blonde with no trace of gray, nor any wrinkles. We also have good genetics in my family.

 

Plus her attitude is very young.

 

I don't think age matters terribly much to a good quality dude, especially if you look great and are a good match.

 

 

Good genes or not, there's no way you can confuse a 54 for a 33, seriously. I'm sure she has excellent physical looks and looks younger..but not 33. I also have good genes; both grandmothers at 90+, eat healthy and exercise, but I believe I look very much my age; 31.

 

No offense to OP, but most older women are in denial of their age. I mean you can still be stunningly beautiful at 60 while looking your age, so I fail to get the idea of some people thinking drop dead gorgoeus = looking younger.

 

My older female colleagues at work used to ask me to guess their age; they believe I would never get it right because they look younger than their age. Guess what, I always get it right but for ego-stroking purposes I come up with an age 10 years less than the actual age I know they are, and they go like "see, I knew you'll never get it right!". Really sad.

 

I know age doesn't really matter to dudes, but I just find this habit of most women denying their real age a bit annoying.

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Well, I'm 50 and I am more likely to look at women in the 40-50 range but this is primarily do to physical attraction not the numeric age. I think a lot of people +50 fudge a bit since this seems to be a bit of a cutoff for both younger men and younger women. In the end though I could care less what your age is, it is more about your personality, are you attractive and physically fit. I look younger than I am because I workout 5 days a week and watch what eat, I want a women who does the same.

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Good genes or not, there's no way you can confuse a 54 for a 33, seriously. I'm sure she has excellent physical looks and looks younger..but not 33. I also have good genes; both grandmothers at 90+, eat healthy and exercise, but I believe I look very much my age; 31.

 

No offense to OP, but most older women are in denial of their age.

 

I come from a family with extremely good genes, on both sides of the family. No one ever believed my mother was my mother, always my sister, and my father, who is now 70 could pass for being in his 50s. So genes do determine the youthfulness of one's looks, as does lifestyle, and I am willing to believe that someone could look 20 years younger, especially if her attitude and style and energy are young. I'm in my 40s, and know women 10 years younger with more wrinkles, more white hair, more cellulite than I have (none in the latter case--lucky me!). There are beat up 30somethings, and radiant 40 and 50somethings.

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This is about beauty, methinks.

 

You want to have man (no more than 10 years younger) because you want a man to stay with you. If he's closer to you in age, you think the risk of him leaving you for a more beautiful (younger) woman would be smaller?

 

The men want a younger women to lower the risk of one day waking up and finding an unattractive old hag lying beside him. Men perceive that there is a cut-off (men in general don't find 80 year old geriartrics very attractive) and my guess is that they believe it's somewhere around 60.

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Almost every single woman I have ever met thinks she looks younger than she is.

 

That by itself shows what we all know.

All women want to look younger because they know that youth is what men want above everything else.

Guy have always and will always want younger women

Simple as that.

 

I have rarely met woman over 45 that I found attractive and wanted to bed.

 

At the age of 38, I find myself attracted to women from the ages of 18-33(roughly).

 

Will this change as I grow older?

 

Possibly, but not by much.

 

While vacationing in Rhodes a few days ago, I met a single Finnish woman who had obviously come to the island for sex.

She was in her mid 40's, tall, shapely body, and looking at her, I could tell she had been a fine looking woman(10 to 15 years ago).

 

But something was missing.

I just couldn't get fired up about her, it is as if she didn't feel right or smell right.

 

We had sex, and it was ok, but I had no desire to see her the following evening.

 

Now this is just me, I am sure there are many other men who love older women(Ashton Kutcher for example).

 

But I like them young;

always have, always will

 

It is a curse actually because I wish I liked all women.

If the think about it, that would be bliss.:)

 

Anyway, going back to your question, most men your age want to date women in their 30's and early 40's.

So if you want to date men in their 40's, you have a bit of an uphill battle.

But they are out there, so more power to you!

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I have rarely met woman over 45 that I found attractive and wanted to bed.

 

At the age of 38, I find myself attracted to women from the ages of 18-33(roughly).

 

 

Not even a 35 year old? Well you must be pretty hot shakes, because most 18 year olds think 38 year olds are over the hill. I can see if you want to have kids, but to otherwise set your limit based on age and not on personality and attractiveness is just plain dumb. I also find the double standard amusing--you're fit to date someone 20 years younger but won't consider someone 7 years older.

 

While vacationing in Rhodes a few days ago, I met a single Finnish woman who had obviously come to the island for sex.

 

 

I just couldn't get fired up about her, it is as if she didn't feel right or smell right.

 

I'm not sure whether this is funny or offensive--probably both. a)Because you were clearly used for sex, if that's what she was there for, and b)that is what probably didn't smell right to you. You may not have wanted to see her the next day, but I bet she was done with you too. Most women can smell a hypocrite.

 

 

Anyway, going back to your question, most men your age want to date women in their 30's and early 40's.

 

Absolutely untrue and only presents your own biases and limitations.

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Capricoosa,

 

Look up marriage statistics that illustrate the age of men and women in marriages, and get back to us.

 

Only 7% of men marry a woman 4 years older or more. And the older the men get, typically the larger the age difference is in the women they desire.

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Does a woman's age as a number only really matter to you? I am 52 but have always been noticed/asked out by younger men. My ex-husband is 43. (The age difference was not our problem.) I have recently been dating men a little older than me and the vast majority of them are not only physically much older than I am, but they are mostly in a different life stage -- free of kids and want to retire and travel. I still have kids at home.

 

A friend of a friend has set me up with a guy who I just found out is only 45. I have seen his picture and he is very attractive. She has only met me once, but apparently she told him that I was really good looking and that she thinks I am between 35 and 43!

 

I am hot, no lie. I have a great body and fortunate genetics. Also I am very healthy and come from a really long-lived family (both grandmothers lived to be 100), so it is starting to make sense to me to stick to the younger guys.

 

But I am worried this guy will be taken aback when he finds out how old I really am.

 

My thought is that the more mature and deeper people are not that interested in a number, although even I would generally prefer to stay within about 5 and definitely 10 years of my own age.

 

When I see men's profiles on on-line sites it seems that 95% of them are looking for younger women.

 

Then I see Hollywood full of these older women younger men combos and I am just wondering -- Does this take a really open-minded person, or do the guys really just care what she looks like?

 

Curious and concerned

 

Hey..hey.. hey... come on.. lots of younger men DO enjoy and love older women.. it's not about being open-minded..it's a preference.. simple as that... they don't just care what she looks like.. they want someone who has life experience.. who can talk about just anything.. who are interesting.. more than just the latest fashion and lipstick on the market.. they want substance.. sexual maturity..

 

We, older women, know what we want.. we are assuming our sexuality..

 

This guy is not even 10 years younger so he's in your age range.. go for it.. if you feel attracted to him.. and you feel he is also attracted to you.. then be honest with your age.. I would bet my life that if there is chemistry he will stick around.. trust me..

 

I am the 'queen' of younger men.. I mostly date much younger men.. I'm older than you are.. and I know young men DO love older women...

 

Enjoy.. life is too short.. to go with what other people think.. etc... :rolleyes: Nevermind the world.. this is about YOU.. :bunny:

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Capricoosa,

 

Look up marriage statistics that illustrate the age of men and women in marriages, and get back to us.

 

Only 7% of men marry a woman 4 years older or more. And the older the men get, typically the larger the age difference is in the women they desire.

 

Who was talking about marriage, and this guy won't even go out with someone 4 years younger than him!! That was my point. As for statistics, they always suit the agenda of the person doing the study, so I don't give too much credence to them.

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Not even a 35 year old? Well you must be pretty hot shakes, because most 18 year olds think 38 year olds are over the hill. I can see if you want to have kids, but to otherwise set your limit based on age and not on personality and attractiveness is just plain dumb. I also find the double standard amusing--you're fit to date someone 20 years younger but won't consider someone 7 years older.

 

 

 

I'm not sure whether this is funny or offensive--probably both. a)Because you were clearly used for sex, if that's what she was there for, and b)that is what probably didn't smell right to you. You may not have wanted to see her the next day, but I bet she was done with you too. Most women can smell a hypocrite.

 

 

 

Absolutely untrue and only presents your own biases and limitations.

 

I mentioned the ages of the women I find attractive, not the women I necessarily date.

Secondly, I don't tell the OP who to date; I clearly and -truthfully- express my opinion.

The problem is you don't like it;but that is YOUR problem.

I guess you want to make us MEN like older women Capri,eh?:rolleyes:

Well, surprise! Many do!

So WHAT is your problem if I don't?

 

Do 18 year olds find me attractive?

Let's say they don't in the least, but that does not mean I don't like them and that I don't prefer them over a 50 year old!

 

Do you have a husband Capri?

Why not ask him his opinion on younger women?

And why focus on the 18 year olds?

What about all those other women I mention?(I did say 18 to 33, didn't I?)

Do you think 38 year old men are not attractive to 25 years old?

Because I was making out with one a few weeks ago...

No, I am PRETTY sure you know how things are, you just don't like it....

So your comments are off the point Capri.

 

 

Furthermore, you mention that she used me for sex.

Yes,I used her and she used me.

 

But again, THAT IS NOT THE POINT!

 

Again, my point is that the older woman just did not do it for me;

What is YOUR PROBLEM with this?

Can you point out what exactly my hypocrisy is while you are at it?

And if you find my post offensive, WHY are you reading and posting on a thread addressed towards MEN asking their opinions?

What do you want me to say to the OP?

My opinion or what you want to hear?

 

DO you Actually believe you know our minds and what we ,as men, find attractive better that we do?

 

Yes, I understand that modern US culture seeks to promote same age relationships, but do you really think the double standard you mentioned does not exist?

 

Are husbands leaving their wives for OLDER women?

 

Did Senator Edwards fool around with an OLDER women?(By the way, I thought his wife was his mom; I kid thee not!)

Did Bill?

 

So Capri, I have spoken the truth as concerns myself.

If you don't like it, well too bad.

 

CHeers,

 

PS - A 35 year old could be ok. A 40 year old too for that matter.

These rules are not carved in stone, which is why the OP should do what she likes(as LIZZIE advised)

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Who was talking about marriage, and this guy won't even go out with someone 4 years younger than him!! That was my point. As for statistics, they always suit the agenda of the person doing the study, so I don't give too much credence to them.

 

And what, pray tell, is YOUR problem with this?

 

By the way, I prefer women who are full-breasted, height is not a problem, with auburn or chestnut brown hair.

 

I also take my coffee with lots of cream but no sugar.

 

Please criticize the above too while you are at it!

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I just wanted to point out the HUGE bias inherent in that study due to the fact that it is usually younger women pushing for marriage. As a result, those couples would get over-represented.

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I prefer women who are full-breasted, height is not a problem, with auburn or chestnut brown hair.

 

Oh, you rang? :D

 

Yes, many older men prefer much younger women, but it's a stretch that they will actually get one.

 

A 50 year old man is not going to grab a 25-year old unless he's got a LOT of cash. And also, is presumably not looking for a relationship of equals, but rather trying to hold onto his youth or find someone he can control...

 

When I was younger, NO WAY was I interested in older guys. And I have found few young women actively seeking significantly older men. It's an old man fantasy, as most guys think they're hot and virile even into their 90's and that they can still bag a hottie... ;) Believe me, if The Donald didn't have the cash he does, how well do you think he'd be doing on the open dating market?

 

OP - this man is a mere few years younger than you. NOT to worry - it's not like there is a generation separating you. I can't imagine he'd have issue with your age.

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A very small percentage of men marry older women. I can hypothesize as to why they marry them, but i cannot prove it, so i won't go there.

 

Studies show that men with a lot of money, and men with little money are both successful at landing younger women. 25 years younger? I don't know. Usually 5-10 years younger.

 

I would date a woman my age, a year or 2 older,and of course younger.

 

Trust me, when men are seeking a female they are not looking for "wisdom, experience, " etc. They PREFER youth and beauty. Some settle for older women.

 

Now sexually, many younger men like older women. That does not mean they want to marry this woman. It means they want to have sex with them. Usually because it is easier to obtain. You don't see hot 18 year old women on the net looking for no strings sex. You see 40 yr old women looking for that.

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Oh, you rang? :D

 

Yes, many older men prefer much younger women, but it's a stretch that they will actually get one.

 

A 50 year old man is not going to grab a 25-year old unless he's got a LOT of cash. And also, is presumably not looking for a relationship of equals, but rather trying to hold onto his youth or find someone he can control...

 

When I was younger, NO WAY was I interested in older guys. And I have found few young women actively seeking significantly older men. It's an old man fantasy, as most guys think they're hot and virile even into their 90's and that they can still bag a hottie... ;) Believe me, if The Donald didn't have the cash he does, how well do you think he'd be doing on the open dating market?

 

OP - this man is a mere few years younger than you. NOT to worry - it's not like there is a generation separating you. I can't imagine he'd have issue with your age.

 

I agre.. Most of the time, a younger woman will go with a much older guy, let's say over 50.. IF he's got tons of cash... BUT young guys do not go with older women for the cash.. but for the 'hot' sex... ;)

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Oh, you rang? :D

 

Yes, many older men prefer much younger women, but it's a stretch that they will actually get one.

 

 

OP - this man is a mere few years younger than you. NOT to worry - it's not like there is a generation separating you. I can't imagine he'd have issue with your age.

 

Actually, I did.;)

 

Now, tell me.

Do you really think I'd chose an older woman over JillyB here?

What are you smoking?

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I agre.. Most of the time, a younger woman will go with a much older guy, let's say over 50.. IF he's got tons of cash... BUT young guys do not go with older women for the cash.. but for the 'hot' sex... ;)

 

Yes, when you are in a sexually repressed society, older women are the better option. travel abroad to more sexually free nations, and you will notice older women have a hard time getting laid.

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