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Some women will date men who are persistent??


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Old 12th August 2008, 2:03 PM   #1
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Some women will date men who are persistent??

I have noticed on some of these "how we met" stories between couples...where a man, who had indeed, ask the same woman out on numerous occasions to finally to get her to cave and say "Yes".

I hear about these stories, and feel at liberty to ask a woman out more than once, but I don't think I can simply do that without annoying the crap out of them, however, I heard of successful stories where a persistent man has succeed and even marry such a woman.

Is there some truth to this? And if so, are you taking an extreme risk?
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Old 12th August 2008, 2:13 PM   #2
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Sometimes persistence does work. I didn't like my ex-H when I met him but after two years of pursuit and having him around my group of friends, I thought that maybe I had made a mistake in judging him too quickly so I accepted his invitation. It went like gangbusters after that and within a year, we were married.

I should have listened to my initial judgement. Having said this, it's not as if he doesn't have wonderful qualities and that we weren't compatible. He basically has everything that a large percentage of the female population would want in a man, plus more. We were highly, highly compatible in so many ways that it was almost unheard of. Too bad we were incompatible in the most important ways of honour, integrity and morals.
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Old 12th August 2008, 2:18 PM   #3
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I've taken a no rules approach to dating, rely on your intution.

In those situations the persistent men could tell that even though that woman was saying no she felt some kind of connection with him. However I'd say if you're in a situation with a woman where you have the opportunity to ask her out repeatedly you might want to keep it friendly as long as possible, but not so much that you get friendzoned.
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Old 12th August 2008, 2:19 PM   #4
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A buddy of mine had something similar. He met this woman that had so much in common with him, and they really were a perfect match, but she kept shooting him down because he wasn't "a Christian".

He believed in God, but didn't agree with organized religion. They talked a lot, and occasionally hung out since they shared a lot of interests. After about 6 months she finally wanted a relationship.
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Old 12th August 2008, 2:20 PM   #5
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Persistence means that you're so inamoured with her that you just won't take no for an answer. However, there are ways to be persistent that won't annoy her. Like sending flowers, or dropping off candy at her desk - things that her friends will see and she'll have to talk about. After a while, she will probably start to see the humor in it and realize that you will not be put off easily, although you have respected her boundaries.

The only caveat to this is if she is already involved with someone, or if she really and truly does not like you. There have been guys who could've done backward flips for me and no amount of persistence would've gotten them anywhere. But for most guys that I have known, if they showed me that charming, persistent side, that they respected me, but were also wild about me, that is a force very hard to reckon with.
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Old 12th August 2008, 2:33 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trialbyfire View Post
Sometimes persistence does work. I didn't like my ex-H when I met him but after two years of pursuit and having him around my group of friends, I thought that maybe I had made a mistake in judging him too quickly so I accepted his invitation. It went like gangbusters after that and within a year, we were married.

I should have listened to my initial judgement. Having said this, it's not as if he doesn't have wonderful qualities and that we weren't compatible. He basically has everything that a large percentage of the female population would want in a man, plus more. We were highly, highly compatible in so many ways that it was almost unheard of. Too bad we were incompatible in the most important ways of honour, integrity and morals.
Yes, but I really think you are going to serious risk by doing this, doing to how people are quick to contact authorities or what-not.

I had a situation online where I emailed a woman online, and she did respond by saying that she felt no attraction towards me.

Then I think about a few weeks later, she updated her profile....and she posed a question to "the men" on the dating site , why don't a man bring a owman flowers on the first date?"

And I responded in kind to her, an naswer to her question.

She replies...."Hey, you really need to keep on top of who youre emailing, I told you I wasn't interested"

She didn't even NOTE the question I had anaswered in her profile, she was QUITE irrate at me for what I did.
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Old 12th August 2008, 2:40 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by HiItsMe View Post
Yes, but I really think you are going to serious risk by doing this, doing to how people are quick to contact authorities or what-not.

I had a situation online where I emailed a woman online, and she did respond by saying that she felt no attraction towards me.

Then I think about a few weeks later, she updated her profile....and she posed a question to "the men" on the dating site , why don't a man bring a owman flowers on the first date?"

And I responded in kind to her, an naswer to her question.

She replies...."Hey, you really need to keep on top of who youre emailing, I told you I wasn't interested"

She didn't even NOTE the question I had anaswered in her profile, she was QUITE irrate at me for what I did.
Yes, there's a risk in persistence although the example you gave is for an overly-sensitive and controlling individual. When you throw a general question out to the public, expect you'll get responses, sometimes from people you don't want responses from.

It is also possible that your response might have also been edged in resentment from her initial rejection, therefore she reacted to it.
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Old 12th August 2008, 3:22 PM   #8
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LOL... I do think this is where the friend zone comes in.

If a woman dislikes you or something along those lines, yes... if you keep trying you will simply driver her up the wall. Everyone is different. Sometimes it is that friend zone that can cause someone to wonder if they might have made a mistake in their judgment. That person getting to know you better, getting to see some of your better qualities. You can't show those things off if you're just an associate, or admiring from a far.

Sometimes, it really could be timing. Wants and interests can also change over time and experience. So, just because she says no now doesn't mean she'll never say yes. But that doesn't mean you should send her cards, candy, or flowers once a month either. Whether something so dramatic would actually work would depend on the way you relate to one another. In most cases, that would probably worry me more than increase my interest.
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Old 12th August 2008, 3:42 PM   #9
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Anyone here watch House? There was a situation where a man was persistent with a woman that worked. the important thing is he respected her boundaries and was persistent without being, hostile, frustrated, or aggressive. If you're going to go the persistent route you're going to have to pay care attention to the way the woman is responding.
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Old 12th August 2008, 3:44 PM   #10
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Thumbs down

Quote:
Originally Posted by HiItsMe View Post
Yes, but I really think you are going to serious risk by doing this, doing to how people are quick to contact authorities or what-not.

I had a situation online where I emailed a woman online, and she did respond by saying that she felt no attraction towards me.

Then I think about a few weeks later, she updated her profile....and she posed a question to "the men" on the dating site , why don't a man bring a owman flowers on the first date?"

And I responded in kind to her, an naswer to her question.

She replies...."Hey, you really need to keep on top of who youre emailing, I told you I wasn't interested"

She didn't even NOTE the question I had anaswered in her profile, she was QUITE irrate at me for what I did.
I wouldn't make any decisions based on the way a dingbat acted on the internet.
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Old 12th August 2008, 4:18 PM   #11
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She might have thought that I used answering her question she posed on her profile as an excuse to email her again.

What's scarey is, she even remembered my name!

And the reponse wasn't too friendly at all actually. She had an attitude behind it, like "Dude, you just don't 'get it'" do you?" I am not intersted in you!"

And I all I did was answer the question in her profile.

I could just reply, "Sheesh, I'm just answering your question you posed to all single men out there, and I figured I'd answer it....lighten up!"

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Old 12th August 2008, 4:35 PM   #12
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It worked for my ex. Don't let the fact that we are no longer together discourage you, we were together well over a year and a half. He bothered me on a daily bases(including his friends whom I worked with) for weeks til I gave in.
I don't agree with it I think you should respect a womans choice but in some cases it works.
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Old 12th August 2008, 4:38 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A.G.Doren View Post
Anyone here watch House? There was a situation where a man was persistent with a woman that worked. the important thing is he respected her boundaries and was persistent without being, hostile, frustrated, or aggressive. If you're going to go the persistent route you're going to have to pay care attention to the way the woman is responding.
Which episode was it?


I think persistance works if only the girl feels an initial attraction to you and hasn't in anyway rebuffed your advances. That doesn't mean she's playing games, it's just she's testing out the waters before diving in. But if she lays down the " lets just be friends" line on you, take it as a smack across the forehead to know that she doesn't want a relationship with you.

Also sometimes the problem falls on the guy. They either can't take a no for an answer and chase like crazy, or they use a persistent chase as a strategy to get back at a girl for an ego trip. Respecting a girl's boundary is important. If she's told you no or anything relating to "no", don't send her flowers or candy, or call her at 1 in the morning and expect her to start liking you. Don't stalk her and try to serenade her outside her windows, because she will put a restraining order on your ass.
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Old 13th August 2008, 6:01 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by HiItsMe View Post
She might have thought that I used answering her question she posed on her profile as an excuse to email her again.

What's scarey is, she even remembered my name!

And the reponse wasn't too friendly at all actually. She had an attitude behind it, like "Dude, you just don't 'get it'" do you?" I am not intersted in you!"

And I all I did was answer the question in her profile.

I could just reply, "Sheesh, I'm just answering your question you posed to all single men out there, and I figured I'd answer it....lighten up!"

Tell her

"I do get it, I deliberately repel controlling and overly sensitive individuals"
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Old 13th August 2008, 6:18 PM   #15
 
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Apparently, Lyndon Johnson was the gold standard of persistence. I read that when he first met his wife-to-be, he immediately asked her out. She told him to call her in a week. Instead he called her every fifteen minutes the next day until she agreed to see him that night. They married two months later.

Of course, nowadays that kind of approach would probably result in a restraining order... ah well.
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