Dating a Doctor

[Jackie]

I have been seeing a guy, who is a doctor, for about 3 months now. He works in emergency and works incredibly long hours, often on weekends. At first it didn't bother me because as a solicitor, I am also very busy, and I have always enjoyed my independance in relationships. However, I am beginning to resent the fact that our social life revolves around HIS schedule. Even when he gets a night off, he is often called into an emergency. It's a difficult situation because I really like him, and don't want to end the relationship just because of his job. I mean, his dedication to his work is one of the most attractive things about him. It's just causing practical problems. I haven't even seen him for the past 2 weeks because of our conflicting work schedules. What to do??

[Ed]

Have you ever thought about becoming a nurse?

[Tony T]

I don't think it would be practical to ask him to find another job.

 

I'm sure he told you in the very beginning the demands of his job, especially in emergency medicine. Being who you are, you could have probably imagined the incredible hours and work demanded of him.

 

All that being a given, the only thing you can do is enjoy the moments you spend with him or find a guy who has a good 8 to 5 job and is not on call to save lives.

 

The other alternative is for you to do volunteer work in the ER while he's on duty and pull the curtains for a little whoopie in between lacerations and contusions.

[Sue]

I understand your situation, which is a difficult one. Having worked for a Doctor, I can tell you that the situation will never change unless he gets out of the business. It goes with the territory.

 

I think it comes down to the fact that you have to weigh your feelings for him, and see if you are up the challenge or not, and how important he is to make this compromise/sacrifice. If it is not, then that settles it.

 

Best wishes in what ever you decide.

[bongo]

you're obviously an intelligent person (a solicitor / lawyer) but you're here asking us what you should do about your busy boyfriend? it's no secret to most people that an ER doc is a busy guy with a crazy schedule. you knew this going in. you also know it's not going to change any time soon. so you either put up with it or you end the relationship. see now wasn't that easy?

I have been seeing a guy, who is a doctor, for about 3 months now. He works in emergency and works incredibly long hours, often on weekends. At first it didn't bother me because as a solicitor, I am also very busy, and I have always enjoyed my independance in relationships. However, I am beginning to resent the fact that our social life revolves around HIS schedule. Even when he gets a night off, he is often called into an emergency. It's a difficult situation because I really like him, and don't want to end the relationship just because of his job. I mean, his dedication to his work is one of the most attractive things about him. It's just causing practical problems. I haven't even seen him for the past 2 weeks because of our conflicting work schedules. What to do??