tonyeltiger Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 Hey there all! This is kinda awkward for me. My gf of 4 years broke up with me a few months back, and have only just recently gotten back in the dating scene (I'm in college btw). This is strange, because my last R was so long, I hadn't had a first date in 5 years, and never in my college experience. So I finally asked this girl out. 1st date we went to a restaurant and had a nice dinner. Really hit it off imo. Seem to have a lot in common. We met up a week later at my place to watch a movie, but my idiot roommate came home and couldn't take a hint from me to get out lol ><. So here I am now, things went well I think. We made plans to go to the movies later this week. So my question is this. There have been no "moves" put on by either person, but feel almost like I certainly should on this coming 3rd date. I suppose we never called them dates, but that would seem a little childish to me, it's pretty obvious what they were. But the thing is that 1) I don't want to fall into the "friend zone" and, 2) don't want to try earlier than appropriate (as I said I am unfamiliar with these unspoken dating trends). I really like this girl, nothing serious of course, just getting back into the swing of things. What would you do? Perhaps movie theater- specific? I was thinking about maybe coffee afterwards, then we could talk about he movie etc. But I just kinda feel like I need to try SOMETHING physical, be it hand holding, a hug, a kiss, whatever. What do you suggest? (She seems really shy btw, I don't know about any previous relationships, haven't really talked about anything that personal. SO I don't know how comfortable she is with guys in general ^^ Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 Well the kiss should have been on the first date but definitely do it this time around. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 Hey there all! This is kinda awkward for me. My gf of 4 years broke up with me a few months back, and have only just recently gotten back in the dating scene (I'm in college btw). This is strange, because my last R was so long, I hadn't had a first date in 5 years, and never in my college experience. So I finally asked this girl out. 1st date we went to a restaurant and had a nice dinner. Really hit it off imo. Seem to have a lot in common. We met up a week later at my place to watch a movie, but my idiot roommate came home and couldn't take a hint from me to get out lol ><. So here I am now, things went well I think. We made plans to go to the movies later this week. So my question is this. There have been no "moves" put on by either person, but feel almost like I certainly should on this coming 3rd date. I suppose we never called them dates, but that would seem a little childish to me, it's pretty obvious what they were. But the thing is that 1) I don't want to fall into the "friend zone" and, 2) don't want to try earlier than appropriate (as I said I am unfamiliar with these unspoken dating trends). I really like this girl, nothing serious of course, just getting back into the swing of things. What would you do? Perhaps movie theater- specific? I was thinking about maybe coffee afterwards, then we could talk about he movie etc. But I just kinda feel like I need to try SOMETHING physical, be it hand holding, a hug, a kiss, whatever. What do you suggest? (She seems really shy btw, I don't know about any previous relationships, haven't really talked about anything that personal. SO I don't know how comfortable she is with guys in general ^^ Thanks! I think the focus should be on relaxing and trying to have some fun. If she's a shy girl, she probably moves a little more slowly than others, in which case you have to be careful about forcing intimacy before she's ready for it. Your dates seem more like hanging out than dates. You might want to think about mixing things up a bit. Do something that requires a little physical activity, like bowling, hiking or going to a park. Get some conversation going. See what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
so_sad Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 You can also try becoming more physically close without "putting the moves on" her, so to speak. Things like touching her knee, putting your hand on the small of her back...those will send a (subtle) signal that you like her without being dramatic about it. It will also give you a chance to see how she reacts. If she seems comfortable with that, go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 You can also try becoming more physically close without "putting the moves on" her, so to speak. Things like touching her knee, putting your hand on the small of her back...those will send a (subtle) signal that you like her without being dramatic about it. It will also give you a chance to see how she reacts. If she seems comfortable with that, go from there. Usually, I think it's safer to let the girl do the touching first. Sometimes you do run into a girl who wants to express herself but is really shy and maybe an "accidental" bump or nudge might work. But I would go easy on touching unless she's really sending the signals or touching you in return. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 Usually, I think it's safer to let the girl do the touching first. Sometimes you do run into a girl who wants to express herself but is really shy and maybe an "accidental" bump or nudge might work. But I would go easy on touching unless she's really sending the signals or touching you in return. I actually disagree with this. If you have interest, let her know. Flirty touch her. Touch her arm while talking, or something. Nothing lingering and creepy. It totally works. Girls dont always want to do the initiating, we try to let men do their "chase" you know? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 I actually disagree with this. If you have interest, let her know. Flirty touch her. Touch her arm while talking, or something. Nothing lingering and creepy. It totally works. Girls dont always want to do the initiating, we try to let men do their "chase" you know? Agreed. I never touch first. Link to post Share on other sites
spookie Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 During the movie, trace her hand with your fingers, memorizing the lines, the feeling of her skin. Link to post Share on other sites
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 (edited) Hey there all! This is kinda awkward for me. My gf of 4 years broke up with me a few months back, and have only just recently gotten back in the dating scene (I'm in college btw). This is strange, because my last R was so long, I hadn't had a first date in 5 years, and never in my college experience. So I finally asked this girl out. 1st date we went to a restaurant and had a nice dinner. Really hit it off imo. Seem to have a lot in common. We met up a week later at my place to watch a movie, but my idiot roommate came home and couldn't take a hint from me to get out lol ><. So here I am now, things went well I think. We made plans to go to the movies later this week. So my question is this. There have been no "moves" put on by either person, but feel almost like I certainly should on this coming 3rd date. I suppose we never called them dates, but that would seem a little childish to me, it's pretty obvious what they were. But the thing is that 1) I don't want to fall into the "friend zone" and, 2) don't want to try earlier than appropriate (as I said I am unfamiliar with these unspoken dating trends). I really like this girl, nothing serious of course, just getting back into the swing of things. What would you do? Perhaps movie theater- specific? I was thinking about maybe coffee afterwards, then we could talk about he movie etc. But I just kinda feel like I need to try SOMETHING physical, be it hand holding, a hug, a kiss, whatever. What do you suggest? (She seems really shy btw, I don't know about any previous relationships, haven't really talked about anything that personal. SO I don't know how comfortable she is with guys in general ^^ Thanks! If you really want to step up your game, DO NOT choose a movie theater. Go to a place where you can talk to her. Laugh with her. And touch her without anyone saying that you're too loud. now as for touching her.. starts safe and first..and then slowly increase the ante. Watch her reactions. If she likes you, she'll touch you back. Edited March 26, 2008 by FormerNiceGuy Link to post Share on other sites
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