Did she lose interest?

[jprez1980]

Ok, so a little background, met this woman who is 25 (I'm 28) at Starbucks for our first date, something laid back, short, and in the public. We talked for hours, things went really well. In fact, on the way home I got a txt telling me such. Which was nice =) Everyday since that time, she has always txt'd me around noon just to ask how my day was, what I was up to, etc. this past week we had two dates which makes a total of three now. After the second date, in which I picked her up and happened to meet her folks, we went bowling and had a few drinks. We hugged goodnight and she txt'd me back immediately after the date thanking me and telling me she had a fun time whooping me at bowling and she continued to txt every day which was her normal pattern.

 

On the third date, which was a fancy restaurant and a video arcade I decided to hold her hand on the drive (first time doing that with her, up until now we just hugged) she didn't seem to object, she also did not reach for my hand ever during the night or touch me so who knows. Later in the night I noticed she was yawning a bit, it was around midnight so I asked her if she was tired or wanted to go elsewhere. She said, no I'm fine, just getting oxygen to my brain. 10-15 more minutes go on, and she is yawning like crazy and I said ok let's go, you still have to drive home (her car was at my place). We left, and she fell asleep in the car for a bit. After arriving at my place, we hug and she leaves. I get a txt saying she made it home, and thank you for a fun evening.

 

Since that time, no text messages from her, it's a big pattern change from how she was since we first met. So of course, it has me thinking. I was thinking about texting her and just seeing how she is doing but I don't want to deal with the rejection. Considering we were/are just dating and not in a relationship, I probably should text her unless I want to make plans with her. But based on how things went down on the 3rd date, not sure if I even want to.

 

Based on her falling asleep in the car, yawning like crazy at the place, not touching or attempting to hold my hand after the initial time I question her interest. But that's why I'm asking..feel free to provide your thoughts =)

Edited March 4, 2008 by jprez1980

[carhill]

Did anything in the hours you talked give you a clue about her?

 

Since her last text was positive, I'd ask her out one more time (assuming you do enjoy her company) and gauge the response. Maybe she's not interested, maybe her phone broke, maybe, maybe. Take a chance on being rejected and ask. Then, move on. The right woman will get back to you. And she might, later. You never know

[jprez1980]

Yes, I know she has been burned before, she claims all the guys she dated has cheated on her..which is a bit odd. She also told me that she hasn't had much luck in the dating scene but she did mention on the third date that someone contacted her on a dating website that was for once descent. All I said to that comment was good, you certainly deserve someone that fits what you're looking for.

 

I didn't ask many details about him..mainly because I didn't care, and because its none of my business at this stage. Maybe there wasn't another guy, maybe there was...doesn't really matter, least I don't think it does.

 

If he does exist and they do date (which I hope they do), I don't want someone being with me only because nothing better has came along. If she feels that guy is better for her she's doing me a favor in the long run.

 

I figure if I am as great as she made me out to be, she would be calling by now..but maybe not.

[Nocturnal]

Just send her a text and ask how she's doing. You make it sound like she's the only one instigating daily contact, and if that's the case, perhaps she's grown a bit tired of that pattern and hopes you contacts her if she doesn't contact her.

 

And if she has lost interest, it is better to get that information out of the way and not just sit on your hands wondering.

[madgun68]

Just send her a text and ask how she's doing. You make it sound like she's the only one instigating daily contact, and if that's the case, perhaps she's grown a bit tired of that pattern and hopes you contacts her if she doesn't contact her.

 

And if she has lost interest, it is better to get that information out of the way and not just sit on your hands wondering.

Yeah. I'd agree. Unless you aren't interested.. Otherwise, why not set up another date and see what happens?

 

Just keep in mind that you may not be the only one who has her interest and that'll take the sting out of being rejected.

[NuTuDating]

Call her. Ask her out again. Judge her reaction. If she's hesitant, drop her like a bad habbit and move on. Rejection only gets worse the longer you wait.

[allieapplesauce]

I would txt her. I wait for the guy to initiate usually tho I do my part also. if u never txted der first she maybe seeing if u are interested back. she may be waiting but I can't speack directly for her. I just know I like closure. it may suck but there is no wondering.

[jprez1980]

I decided to txt her, didn't seem promising, I asked her how things went with her friend leaving on Sunday and if she free Saturday evening. Her response "Things went fine, thanks. It's really busy here. TTYL"

 

So I'm going to accept that as a probable no. At least I know where I stand. =)

[carhill]

"I'd like to take you to dinner Saturday. I'm thinking Italian. How does 8 o'clock sound?"

 

Well, at least you know her phone works. Now, call her

[NuTuDating]

I decided to txt her, didn't seem promising, I asked her how things went with her friend leaving on Sunday and if she free Saturday evening. Her response "Things went fine, thanks. It's really busy here. TTYL"

 

So I'm going to accept that as a probable no. At least I know where I stand. =)

 

Don't call her. She doesn't deserve it. If she's too busy to acknowledge your attempts at communication with something other than "hey, I'm busy" - kick her to the curb and find someone else. That's how she'll treat you later, too.