Need male and female on this!

[xpert1]

If anyone reads all of this I owe you a beer.

 

I'm 40 dating a 44 year old extremely attractive woman. She had just recently moved out from her x fiances house. She had been chased by this wealthy guy for years as she lived out of state. I live in So. California.

 

She had a small business that went under after almost a decade. After searching for a job in her state in the industry she new and loved the most she was still not working. She decided to give into this guy since he was so good to her and he had promised to take care of her, marry her, and most importantly have a baby and live as a house mom by the beach in So. Cal.

 

When she arrived everything changed. She lived with him less than a year. The relationship was doomed, she realized she had been fooled and they sleep in different rooms for months. I met her on the street and we started hanging out, kissing, and having a good time. He was always away on business.

 

She and I have always been like kids, laughing, kissing, and our sex was and was limited to oral sex only. She is very Chirstian or somewhat. That along with her own beliefs is why she wont have sex until she is in a commited relationship. AS for dummy 1 her X. She had not had sex with him yet. She did not feel that she could give this guy all of her.

 

I'm dummy 2. I have been seeing her since November of last year. We are very intimate with each other. She takes excellent care of me with oral sex always a happy ending! I do the same for her and she says that she is so turned on by me more than ever..... But she is not ready for "sex."

 

She also says that she is not ready to jump into another relationship, commit to being full on boyfriend and girlfriend...... She says timing is bad for us and that she is still getting over what this guy did to her, settling in to her new apartment and job after not working for 2 years. Valid and I tell he that I'm not pressuring her. She says that I'm the only one that she lets touch her....

 

The confusing part is that we see each other every week 2-3 times a week, do things together, kiss all the time, in public, everywhere. Lots of oral sex both ways. When we have gone out dancing or a bar. She gets tipsy and always says that she loves me. She always tells people men and women that I'm her boyfreind. Went buzzed she goes out of her way to tell guys that I'm her boyfriend...

 

Since she is very attractive she has been very well pampered by a lot of men most of her life. She is going through some hard times. But I don't know if she is going to be on the lookout to find this rich man to take care of her or what. We talk all the time like we have known each other for years. I tease or test her on finding her a rich guy. She says that if she wanted to get a man for money she can do that overnight. I do ok or better than most men I guess with my small business and a little bit of Real Estate...I'm also very attractive to her as she tells me all the time..

 

Finally the question:

 

What do I do? I feel like I'm in and out. I love being with her, spend all my time with her as she does me. But we will be going on 4 months consistently around mid March. I need to have sex and I'm getting tired of waiting, spending money (not a lot) or catering to her most of the time... I also tell her its a two way street and being a princess is out. Equal partners not financially by in what we can.She seems to have all the cards. Do I hold back a little and go out with other women and play harder to get? Do I give less? Do I call her less frequently? Do I let her believe or show her somehow that she is not as important to me anymore or she might loose me? I want this girl but I'm not going to be dummy 2 forever.

 

Please advise and thanks for reading. Beer is on its way.

[EnigmaXOXO]

So after four months of dating ... what is it that you really want from her? What would you consider to be a step forward in regard to your relationship??

 

If it’s intercourse ... she’s already told you that she doesn’t want to go there unless she’s in a committed relationship. If that means marriage or a live-in sort of situation ... than after only four months in, you’re still a long way off from all that.

 

If it’s simply an exclusive “committed relationship” ... than she’s already told you she’s not ready for that either. So that pretty much cuts off any potential for intercourse OR a more serious relationship at this point. Remember ... she claims the other guy chased her for years before she finally gave in. Are you really up for that kind of a marathon run????

 

If the frustration of spending money on someone outweighs the joy of just spending time with them than you’ll have to decide if it’s worth cutting your losses. And if you’re not already in an exclusive relationship, than I don’t understand why you would feel hesitant about dating other people. Sounds more like a friends-with-benefits sort of thing between you and this gal right now. And I would say that after another two months, if her feelings towards you and the potential for a relationship still haven’t changed, than as difficult as it may be to admit: “she’s just not that into you.”

[blind_otter]

HAH. Oral sex isn't sex. That's rich. Sounds like something a girl in high school would say.

 

Anyways - as long as you remain in this "relationship" with her she has zero motivation to change her situation. She gets to have her cake and eat it too.