Kamille Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 What are, according to you, some of the most damaging myths about the other sex that impede people from dating successfully? My number one, one that I believed was true and came to realize was very unhelpful is: Myth: Men fear commitment. I used to beleive men feared commitment. So I used to act like you somehow had to 'trap' a guy into being your boyfriend. Or I would get very insecure because I could never really believe a guy was into me enough to want to be my boyfriend. Or I would accept unacceptable behaviour from the guys I was dating on the premisse that all men fear commitment. I then met my ex who had no qualms about commitment and realized that there are men out there who are ready and willing to commit. I think that's the best gift my ex gave me. Dating became so much easier after that because I refused to take any crxp from anybody. Also, thinking men fear commitment is kind of belittling them when you think about it. Treating them like permanent teenagers... I find that when my guy friends date women who think men fear commitment, they don't take the relationship seriously. If they meet a woman who expects them to act like adults, they usually like it and feel like chasing her. So what about you guys? What are some of the things you came to realize were hindering your dating style? Please share your tidbits of dating wisdom here. Link to post Share on other sites
Hoffle Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Women are completely materialistic, I met a girl whose warddrobe comes from a second hand clothes shop and she was nice, she hated capitalism and just claimed benefits and read Marxism all day long until her heart was full. I would like some form of commitment, that would be nice. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 I think it's crazy to stay with a guy who treats you like crap just because you have good sex. It's not a misconception but is often overlooked that every guy has a dick. I think sometimes women forget that. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 I always thought that guy would only go after the really attractive women out there. But I realized that superficiality can never sustain a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 Women are completely materialistic, I met a girl whose warddrobe comes from a second hand clothes shop and she was nice, she hated capitalism and just claimed benefits and read Marxism all day long until her heart was full. Nice... I take it things didn't work out with her? But hey, at least you know not all women are materialistic. In fact, many of my friends aren't. I would like some form of commitment, that would be nice. Exactly my point. Most men do want commitment - but to the right woman. And I think that when a woman really believes men fear commitments, it prompts her to behave in weird ways. I think it's crazy to stay with a guy who treats you like crap just because you have good sex. It's not a misconception but is often overlooked that every guy has a dick. I think sometimes women forget that. Amen sister! I always thought that guy would only go after the really attractive women out there. But I realized that superficiality can never sustain a relationship. I used to believe that too and what a disservice it was to my self-esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
EYECANDY000 Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 I think my myth would be : -All men are dogs -Theres no such thing as a good man -Men are only after intimacy Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 What are, according to you, some of the most damaging myths about the other sex that impede people from dating successfully? I have some right now, I guess. -Guys love bitches. If given a chance between a nice girl and a bitch, they'd always choose the bully. Over and over they fall for the one that treats them the worst. -All guys care about is for a girl to be skinny. I've seen it everywhere, every "hot" girl has no problem getting a guy, all the girls that are not in perfect shape are having the hell of a time. If anything, they get used for a while. I guess I'll need some counter examples, but that's the way I feel now. Oh yeah, and since I'm pretty tolerant and easy going and kind of chubby.. I'm completely out of the market. So I don't date. Link to post Share on other sites
so_sad Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 I have some right now, I guess. -Guys love bitches. If given a chance between a nice girl and a bitch, they'd always choose the bully. Over and over they fall for the one that treats them the worst. -All guys care about is for a girl to be skinny. I've seen it everywhere, every "hot" girl has no problem getting a guy, all the girls that are not in perfect shape are having the hell of a time. If anything, they get used for a while. I guess I'll need some counter examples, but that's the way I feel now. Oh yeah, and since I'm pretty tolerant and easy going and kind of chubby.. I'm completely out of the market. So I don't date. Ariadne, if it makes you feel any better - I'm skinny and a bitch, and I'm not getting any dates. Haha. Just kidding about the bitch part; I'm not (except when talking about my ex . But I am regularly complimented on my figure, and all I can say is - no one's seeing it up close. No dates for me either. Link to post Share on other sites
FormerNiceGuy Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 1. Women are all about money. 2. Women are more emotional....and there are many times that they listen to their emotions rather than logic. 3. Women don't care as much about sex as men do. 4. Most women don't know what they really want. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 1. Women are all about money. 2. Women are more emotional....and there are many times that they listen to their emotions rather than logic. 3. Women don't care as much about sex as men do. 4. Most women don't know what they really want. I object! I don't think all women are about money, and we're only emotional because sometimes our body just produces more hormones than guys. Well if we care more about sex, wouldn't that makes us hookers? And of course we don't know what we want, neither does men. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Men want (and fall in love with) what they can't have.Men get married so they don't have to try anymore.Men are always thinking about sex, and it drives their behavior.Men are not cognizant of their own emotions.Men are knuckle-scraping Neanderthals.I am still waiting for a man who will prove me wrong on the above. Link to post Share on other sites
Potatocakes Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 I have some right now, I guess. -Guys love bitches. If given a chance between a nice girl and a bitch, they'd always choose the bully. Over and over they fall for the one that treats them the worst. -All guys care about is for a girl to be skinny. I've seen it everywhere, every "hot" girl has no problem getting a guy, all the girls that are not in perfect shape are having the hell of a time. If anything, they get used for a while. I guess I'll need some counter examples, but that's the way I feel now. Oh yeah, and since I'm pretty tolerant and easy going and kind of chubby.. I'm completely out of the market. So I don't date. Ugh totally agree with the skinny bitches comment. All my boyfriends ex's are skinny, fake blondes, and treated him really bad but all he wanted to do was try to make them happy! I'm actually the first curvy brunette he's been with. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Men want (and fall in love with) what they can't have. I agree with that too. Men don't want a woman who is dedicated and loving. What they really want is for the woman who doesn't want them to turn loving. So they put up with crap in the mean time thinking she's mean because it's their fault. And continue to love the one who doesn't want them. That's when you see a man "really in love." Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 I object! I don't think all women are about money, and we're only emotional because sometimes our body just produces more hormones than guys. Well if we care more about sex, wouldn't that makes us hookers? And of course we don't know what we want, neither does men. I think FNG was enunciating myths, not truisms, in compliance with the topic I was going to object on completely opposite grounds Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Ugh totally agree with the skinny bitches comment. All my boyfriends ex's are skinny, fake blondes, and treated him really bad but all he wanted to do was try to make them happy! I'm actually the first curvy brunette he's been with. Yep. And they try and try to make them happy. Not realizing that if a woman is treating them like crap, is because she doesn't give a sht about them. But no, they think it's "their fault" and if they only did this and that, then everything will be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
cutegirl Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 [*]Men are always thinking about sex, and it drives their behavior. This one is true. Sex is probably the motivation for men to get up in the morning and go to work and become successful and obtain prestige and status and conquer the world. Why do they want this? Because it leads to sex. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 This one is true. Sex is probably the motivation for men to get up in the morning and go to work and become successful and obtain prestige and status and conquer the world. Why do they want this? Because it leads to sex. Or, maybe it's just testosterone. Money, killing, sex...testosterone... No revelations here and loved the explanations, but we really are a chemical factory Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 This one is true. Sex is probably the motivation for men to get up in the morning and go to work and become successful and obtain prestige and status and conquer the world. Why do they want this? Because it leads to sex. I totally agree. Notice how when a guy is in the mood for it, they would succumb to the lowest of the low, but then afterwards when they get sexual release, they're attitude totally changes. True story: my ex used to always shower me with attention before we did the deed, but then afterwards, the only thing his attention would be focused on is his computer. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedGirl Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 One of the most common misconceptions men have is that women really care about money. In fact so many women don't that me and the girlfriends often laugh about this. However, women do find power sexy and very often power comes with money thus the misconception. What I have found to be true though is: Men love bitches. Being nice to men is a turn off to them. The main difference between the sexes is that women can fall in love with a men who treats them well even if they don't find find him that attractive to begin with. Women like to be taken care of. Therefore lots of "bitches" will often come back to the man who has been pursuing them - and was there for them for years once they want to settle down. Men on the other hand need the very strong sexual attraction and an aura of unavailability to hook them. Being nice to them will actually work against you. Pursuing them is total turn off. Women fall in love easier than men. But once men fall, they fall harder. Both sexes want commintment to the right person. Men are driven by sex. Any men will cheat on their SO given the right person and the right opportunity. It has nothing to do with emotions, they just have urges that are stronger than them. Women mostly cheat when there is something missing in their primary relationship and they usually get emotionally attached to the other person. Note: there will always be exceptions here but I'm talking about the majority. Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 The more a woman resists (coyly of course) the harder a man pursues - (not talking date rape or stalking). I wish this were a misconception, but my experience has been (and that of my gfs) that a man really persists when he is presented with something that won't come easily to him. The less you call, the busier you are, the more he yearns for a connection. The moment you become available, a dull complacency settles in. Men don't like talking about their feelings. This varies from man to man. Some men are very emotionally available and able to discuss their feelings in a healthy, articulate manner. And then there are those that mumble "mm hmms" and "sures", the ones that cringe at the thought of a heart-to-heart. These men, I'm increasingly beginning to dislike. Men are all about sex. Definitely a big misconception. But again, it depends on the man. Some men are sexually involved and engaging, others, not so much - they could care less if they are getting any. I have found however, the more aggressive the woman, the less likely the man is to respond sexually. I find they like their ladies demure. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Most women don't know what they really want. Men are always thinking about sex, and it drives their behavior. the only true words spoken in this thread IMO, all the rest is just people being bitter, sorry I personally don't have any damaging misconceptions about the other sex myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Hoffle Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Nice... I take it things didn't work out with her? But hey, at least you know not all women are materialistic. In fact, many of my friends aren't. Exactly my point. Most men do want commitment - but to the right woman. And I think that when a woman really believes men fear commitments, it prompts her to behave in weird ways. No, things never work out for me in this field, I'm only in my late teens and I have had enough mis-fortune to put me off for life. Yes, the right woman is the one I want, but there is no right woman, I'm afraid. Link to post Share on other sites
Hoffle Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 I agree with that too. Men don't want a woman who is dedicated and loving. What they really want is for the woman who doesn't want them to turn loving. So they put up with crap in the mean time thinking she's mean because it's their fault. And continue to love the one who doesn't want them. That's when you see a man "really in love." That's human nature though isn't it? I mean I have had a girl interested in me when I wasn't interested in her, because I liked someone else. It's not my fault I didn't feel the same way as she did, but that's life. I was honest and direct with her and in the end her feelings for me have faded away and we talk regularly and get on well. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 All men cheat. Men are incapable of taking care of and feeding themselves without a woman Men don't pick up after themselves and share parenting duties Men are turned off by smart and successful women These are some stereotypes about men that are not true. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted February 24, 2008 Author Share Posted February 24, 2008 No, things never work out for me in this field, I'm only in my late teens and I have had enough mis-fortune to put me off for life. Yes, the right woman is the one I want, but there is no right woman, I'm afraid. Sorry to hear it! But if you're still a teen then may I suggest you major in sociology in college? Those departments are filled to the brim with marxist anti-capitalist women. On to other topics While I believe it is true that men think about sex a lot a lot a lot, I think I now know that thinking all men are dogs hinders dating. Women might hook a guy by using overt sexuality, but then they never stick around. So what about the idea then men sleep with promiscuous women but don't marry them? Any hold to that? And as for men love bitches - for being a bit of a demanding gf myself ( to Ariadne), I would like to rephrase and say that men love confident women. Link to post Share on other sites
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