Kamille Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 ...and asked me to move with him. We had discussed this possibility as he was applying for the job - and we just found out today that he got the job. (We're both super happy). We've been together for four months. Just yesterday we had a major conversation about so many important aspects: from children, to marriage, to the one issue we seem to have, related to his smoking inside. The conversation was amazing. We were both able to say whatever we wanted without feeling threatened. I think I want to follow him. This city is a 14 hour drive away from where I live. I've already lived there and loved it. In fact, my best friend lives there now. Any advice? Similar experiences? Recommandations? How should I go about making this decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 I'm so glad he asked you to move with him. You know what I would do. I'd go... in a heartbeat. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Oh congratulations...that sounds good. I don't really have any recommendations or advice but just wanted to say it's great that your best friend lives there too. I wish you lots of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 so far it seems like all good stuff... are there any cons to moving? you seem so happy, which is a good start. and communication obviously isn't a problem. the only thing that would personally hold me back would be the short time of being together. 4 months isn't very long, and 14 hours is huge. sometimes, though, you just know. and it sounds like you just know. sorry if i missed this, but how long do you have to decide? Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 You have only been together for four months? Are you sure that after four months of dating that you are ready for this? Put some thought into it first. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 IMO 4 months isn't all that long to be with someone, although it sounds like you guys have good communication. It is a good thing that your best friend already lives in the new city though... Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 You have only been together for four months? Are you sure that after four months of dating that you are ready for this? Put some thought into it first. What does she have to lose? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 What does she have to lose? Possibly the love of her life (that is, if she doesn't go). Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 I think if you look at it like "this is a great and exciting opportunity for me, too" then yes, look into moving. I would suggest having separate residences as soon as possible and looking for a job you would love, but if you've lived there before and enjoyed it, and you have a social contact there, then this is something to be excited about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted February 4, 2008 Author Share Posted February 4, 2008 It's true that 4 months is soon because I am just now starting to feel like our love is grounded. The good news is that we wouldn't be moving until July (and probably appartment hunting in may). So really until then I can always back off if things stop going in the right direction. We were talking and he said he wouldn't smoke inside. I'm so thrilled about this! I'm working on my phd right now, and have a scholarship, so really, I'm mobile. Guys, I think I'm going for it. I am going for it. I am so excited and thrilled. Plus the job he got is fantastic and it's a permanent position so ... so ... you know, we could really settle down. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 What does she have to lose? At four months, you are still getting to know your SO. However...... It's true that 4 months is soon because I am just now starting to feel like our love is grounded. The good news is that we wouldn't be moving until July (and probably appartment hunting in may). So really until then I can always back off if things stop going in the right direction. We were talking and he said he wouldn't smoke inside. I'm so thrilled about this! I'm working on my phd right now, and have a scholarship, so really, I'm mobile. Guys, I think I'm going for it. I am going for it. I am so excited and thrilled. Plus the job he got is fantastic and it's a permanent position so ... so ... you know, we could really settle down. you still have time to get to know him and you are "mobile", so give it a shot. Life is all about risks anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueHaiku Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 I would be skeptical about the 4 months thing. If moving would force you to give up a career, promising job, or life that was crucially important to who you are, I would say NO! But it sounds like you aren't giving up anything by going... so GO! Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 I say go for it! You seem like you know what you're doing and like this move won't have a negative impact on your life (you're not giving anything up) Also by the time you move you'll be with him for 7-8 months which is still quick but not unreasonable. My SO and I moved in together after 7 months and we couldn't be happier. Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Whoo-hoo, an ADVENTURE ! If you like the new town ( which you have stated you do) and will not be giving up any great job of your own ( which you said you are not) Then, I say GO for it ! Studies show that we regret the things we DIDN'T try, much more and longer than the things we tried, but hey, they didn't work out ! Life is to be lived ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted February 4, 2008 Author Share Posted February 4, 2008 What does she have to lose? Possibly the love of her life (that is, if she doesn't go). I just realized I can't imagine not going. Or at least plan on going. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted February 4, 2008 Author Share Posted February 4, 2008 Whoo-hoo, an ADVENTURE ! If you like the new town ( which you have stated you do) and will not be giving up any great job of your own ( which you said you are not) Then, I say GO for it ! Studies show that we regret the things we DIDN'T try, much more and longer than the things we tried, but hey, they didn't work out ! Life is to be lived ! Love the new town. Every time I've gone back there I thought to myself: I could live here. It's bigger then my current city, but not so big that it's hard to meet people. Plus it has an awesome market and a great hockey team. I wonder who else on LS lives there. Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Only one way to find out !!!! Where IS it ? ( prob in canada which won't mean getting to meet YOU anytime soon, but i'm still damn happy for you !) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted February 4, 2008 Author Share Posted February 4, 2008 Only one way to find out !!!! Where IS it ? ( prob in canada which won't mean getting to meet YOU anytime soon, but i'm still damn happy for you !) It's in central Canada. I don't know why but I think Lizzie lives there. It's a good thing I'm condifent bf is faithful. Although I would love to meet Lizzie, I love her lust for life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted February 5, 2008 Author Share Posted February 5, 2008 Pyro, I couldn't get through your pm (it might be disactivated). But really, how many great hockey teams is there in Central Canada ? Good ones, maybe one, sucky ones, definitely one - but great ones? That's where I'm moving baby. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 Kamille, Great news!! Since you are mobile and are not sacrificing a good job or important career prospects, there really is nothing to keep you from making a new and exciting change in your life. You can work on your PHD from there. The fact that you have a friend there and know and like the place are added bonuses. Plus, like you said, you still have a few months to get to know each other better. When in doubt, do!!!! I wish I lived in Canada. Then, I could meet both you and Lizzie!! Link to post Share on other sites
Florida Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 Kamille, Great news!! Since you are mobile and are not sacrificing a good job or important career prospects, there really is nothing to keep you from making a new and exciting change in your life. You can work on your PHD from there. The fact that you have a friend there and know and like the place are added bonuses. Plus, like you said, you still have a few months to get to know each other better. When in doubt, do!!!! I wish I lived in Canada. Then, I could meet both you and Lizzie!! Yeah, I agree absolutely. It is a move made in heaven! :love: Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted February 5, 2008 Author Share Posted February 5, 2008 Kamille, Great news!! Since you are mobile and are not sacrificing a good job or important career prospects, there really is nothing to keep you from making a new and exciting change in your life. You can work on your PHD from there. The fact that you have a friend there and know and like the place are added bonuses. Plus, like you said, you still have a few months to get to know each other better. When in doubt, do!!!! I wish I lived in Canada. Then, I could meet both you and Lizzie!! thanks Marlena. You could always come visit! Yeah, I agree absolutely. It is a move made in heaven! :love: Thanks Florida. I'm still on cloud nine about all this and really enjoying it. It feels like a very big, very important step in our relationship. I think I couldn't be happier had he asked me to marry him (which neither of us actually really believe in, so really, move with me to Great City is it). I know this is still very early on in our R, but the job he got in that city is a permanent position and, well, that means one of us has financial stability which, means, if things continue going well, that we could be talking family in the next couple of years, once I am done my PhD. It's the first time in my life that a family seems more like a possibility then a wish. And we've discussed this and we're both on the same page. Talking about the move is so much fun. I'm uber-thrilled about his decision to not smoke inside the next appartment. It's such a struggle in his current appartment, but we decided we would rent a place with a nice little patio. And we decided we would get a cat once we get there. Plus we pretty much already live together (except when I go home because I can't stand the smoke), so we know we're compatible cooking-cleaning-housekeeping wise. And so far we also seem to be on the same page about finances. So I don't know, what else is there to consider? Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 The both of you sound like two very mature and healthy peope who know how to work towards a good relationship. You also sound very compatible. His accepting to not smoke indoors is a major compromise and shows that he is flexible and co-operative not to mention unselfish. I think you have all the makings of a good relationship so stop worrying and dream away! Hey, I just might take you up on that offer! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted February 5, 2008 Author Share Posted February 5, 2008 His accepting to not smoke indoors is a major compromise and shows that he is flexible and co-operative not to mention unselfish. I know. (swoons). Hey, I just might take you up on that offer! Anytime! Are you in the UK? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 His accepting to not smoke indoors is a major compromise and shows that he is flexible and co-operative not to mention unselfish. I think you have all the makings of a good relationship so stop worrying and dream away! I do agree with marlena except for the unselfish part.. Not smoking inside isn't an unselfish act.. an unselfish act would be him quitting.. It is however showing some respect for the other person's health. I wish you well Kamille.. it seems like you both have something good and worth having.. ..and if it means anything I'm not one to say that a person should follow another to another state but in this case I think it would be the best decision.. Link to post Share on other sites
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