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Any salvage possible??


Scorpio13c

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I bailed on a first date because i had a major panic attack!

 

I called her cell at the time we were to meet, i was in the parking lot & got her voicemail. I left a very apologetic message saying that i was soo sorry but something had come up (in a shaky voice) & would make it up & call later to explain.

What can i do now? i was actually ill during the panic attack & it wouldn't go away. I could not go in to meet her.

Now i've been on a few dates recently, but haven't had this happen.

 

What can i do now to salvage this??

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I bailed on a first date because i had a major panic attack!

 

I called her cell at the time we were to meet, i was in the parking lot & got her voicemail. I left a very apologetic message saying that i was soo sorry but something had come up (in a shaky voice) & would make it up & call later to explain.

What can i do now? i was actually ill during the panic attack & it wouldn't go away. I could not go in to meet her.

Now i've been on a few dates recently, but haven't had this happen.

 

What can i do now to salvage this??

 

Call her back, apologize again and ask her out on another date.

 

What are you doing to address your anxiety attacks? Did the date provoke the anxiety attack? What was it about the date that provoked an anxiety attack?

 

If you get another anxiety attack before that date (if she accepts), then I would suggest you tell her the honest truth about what's going on.

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Hi Kamille,

Thank you for responding,

I hadn't had a real major panic attack since August & i attributed that to my breakup & drinking coffee back then. I haven't had a issue since.

I don't know that calliing & telling the truth would help me. I mean she's probably already peeved & who would continue dating someone in my circumstance if i were to tell the truth, especially after what happened??

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Hi Kamille,

Thank you for responding,

I hadn't had a real major panic attack since August & i attributed that to my breakup & drinking coffee back then. I haven't had a issue since.

I don't know that calliing & telling the truth would help me. I mean she's probably already peeved & who would continue dating someone in my circumstance if i were to tell the truth, especially after what happened??

 

Oh no, I 'm not suggesting you call her and tell her the truth straight away. I was making a recommandation on the hypothetical scenario that you got a second anxiety attack on the day of the second date. i was getting way ahead of the game, so please, just ignore that part.

 

I'm guessing you are asking about what to do because you would really like to get to know her better. You have no way of knowing how she feels about the cancelled date, but at the same time you did do the right thing by calling (instead of standing her up). You also told her you would make it up - so you left the door open.

 

That's why I think you could call and ask her out again. You don't need to tell her the reason why you cancelled. Just apologize and say that to make it up to her you would love to take her out to xyz place.

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Oh no, I 'm not suggesting you call her and tell her the truth straight away. I was making a recommandation on the hypothetical scenario that you got a second anxiety attack on the day of the second date. i was getting way ahead of the game, so please, just ignore that part.

 

I'm guessing you are asking about what to do because you would really like to get to know her better. You have no way of knowing how she feels about the cancelled date, but at the same time you did do the right thing by calling (instead of standing her up). You also told her you would make it up - so you left the door open.

 

That's why I think you could call and ask her out again. You don't need to tell her the reason why you cancelled. Just apologize and say that to make it up to her you would love to take her out to xyz place.

 

I'm not even sure if she saw me in the parking lot.

I would Love to do as you reccomend, howerver i doubt that she would be receptive. Afterall, if you were her & you got the shaky voicemail that i left, wouldn't you be aprehensive?

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I'm not even sure if she saw me in the parking lot.

I would Love to do as you reccomend, howerver i doubt that she would be receptive. Afterall, if you were her & you got the shaky voicemail that i left, wouldn't you be aprehensive?

 

I'm pretty forgiving person and the shaky voice would only convince me that something was truly up. I would perhaps worry a little. She could have gone through a number of emotions, from disapointed, to peeved, to worried, to .... who knows what. We could sit here all night and try and guess if that's what we felt like doing.

 

From where I stand though (or rather sit), it's a pretty simple mathematical equation :

You call her and ask her out: she says no, ah well, you tried. she says yes, you have a date.

You don't call her: you don't get a date.

 

It's up to you what you want to do.

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You have already apologized to her. You have to wait and see if she will accept it. or just think you are into playing games.. if she thinks you just blew her off then you wont here from her again. If she do call, let her know you were feeling a little and , and didnt want to be ill on the date. Im sure she will understand

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I'm pretty forgiving person and the shaky voice would only convince me that something was truly up. I would perhaps worry a little. She could have gone through a number of emotions, from disapointed, to peeved, to worried, to .... who knows what. We could sit here all night and try and guess if that's what we felt like doing.

 

From where I stand though (or rather sit), it's a pretty simple mathematical equation :

You call her and ask her out: she says no, ah well, you tried. she says yes, you have a date.

You don't call her: you don't get a date.

 

It's up to you what you want to do.

 

This was to be our first time meeting.

I actually just called & got voicemail, i did not leave a message. I'm guessing "Peeved"?

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I left a very apologetic message saying that i was soo sorry but something had come up (in a shaky voice) & would make it up & call later to explain.

 

You didn't leave a message?

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Ok. You didn't leave a message. Yeah, while waiting for you at the restaurant I might have felt outraged. Then, once I got out, I would have put you in the flakey category, maybe have felt a bit confused (he did seem genuinely interested) then would have thought somethings along the lines of 'well I guess it wasn't meant to be'. Go to the gym, say to myself, better luck next time.

 

She most likely saw that you called though.

 

Did you meet her through an on-line dating site? Then maybe you could write her a message and explain something along the lines of what Eyecandy suggested. You were feeling really ill. Which is the truth. But would like to make it up to her.

 

Then you wait and see if she accepts it. If she doesn't or doesn't reply, then you have your answer and you pat yourself on the shoulder cause at least you tried.

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Ok. You didn't leave a message. Yeah, while waiting for you at the restaurant I might have felt outraged. Then, once I got out, I would have put you in the flakey category, maybe have felt a bit confused (he did seem genuinely interested) then would have thought somethings along the lines of 'well I guess it wasn't meant to be'. Go to the gym, say to myself, better luck next time.

 

She most likely saw that you called though.

 

Did you meet her through an on-line dating site? Then maybe you could write her a message and explain something along the lines of what Eyecandy suggested. You were feeling really ill. Which is the truth. But would like to make it up to her.

 

Then you wait and see if she accepts it. If she doesn't or doesn't reply, then you have your answer and you pat yourself on the shoulder cause at least you tried.

 

Hi Kamille,

I think you misunderstood me, I did leave a original message on her cell when i left the parking lot, apologizing.

I called her home phone later last night, but did not leave a message when it went to voicemail.

I suppose what Eyecandy said, is most likely, i haven't heard anything.

I hate the thought of being seen as Flakey, it's a terrible feeling..

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Hi Kamille,

I think you misunderstood me, I did leave a original message on her cell when i left the parking lot, apologizing.

I called her home phone later last night, but did not leave a message when it went to voicemail.

I suppose what Eyecandy said, is most likely, i haven't heard anything.

I hate the thought of being seen as Flakey, it's a terrible feeling..

 

Oh, sorry I did misunderstand. Kudoos to you for giving her a call, and I don't blame you for not leaving a message. It just seems like the kind of thing you would want to ask her in person.

 

My whole analisys was based on me thinking you hadn't lefet a message the night of the first date. So again, since you did the right thing, I urge you to not be so hard on yourself. You were ill and couldn't go and you let her know this. What she thought and felt is hers to own, but it certainly isn't as bad as you seem to imagine.

 

And you know what, it doesn't matter so much what she thought of you. Maybe your anxiety attacks are linked to the fact that you worry too much about what others think of you?

 

If I were you, I would try getting a hold of her again, either by phone or email. But make sure you're in a good state of mind about it before you do. Dating is fun, she is someone you want to get to know.

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Oh, sorry I did misunderstand. Kudoos to you for giving her a call, and I don't blame you for not leaving a message. It just seems like the kind of thing you would want to ask her in person.

 

My whole analisys was based on me thinking you hadn't lefet a message the night of the first date. So again, since you did the right thing, I urge you to not be so hard on yourself. You were ill and couldn't go and you let her know this. What she thought and felt is hers to own, but it certainly isn't as bad as you seem to imagine.

 

And you know what, it doesn't matter so much what she thought of you. Maybe your anxiety attacks are linked to the fact that you worry too much about what others think of you?

 

If I were you, I would try getting a hold of her again, either by phone or email. But make sure you're in a good state of mind about it before you do. Dating is fun, she is someone you want to get to know.

 

Thanks very much Kamille for your kind words, they have helped me to feel better about it today.

I doubt though that i will try contact again, as i wouldn't even know what to tell her & i wouldn't feel comfortable telling any lies.

Scorp

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Thanks very much Kamille for your kind words, they have helped me to feel better about it today.

I doubt though that i will try contact again, as i wouldn't even know what to tell her & i wouldn't feel comfortable telling any lies.

Scorp

 

 

Do you like her? If you do, you may as well give her a call, and if she answers say something along the lines of "I was sick, so sorry, try again?"

 

I find that if I think I might have trouble conversing on the phone, or that I don't know what to say, a great remedy is to make a flowchart. As cheesy, stupid, and childish as it sounds, it works. Start out with somethign you have in common, and make a flowchart/web from there in the directions you think the conversation could go. That way you always have something to say and won't sound like a moron.

 

I know it is easier said than done, but you may as well call her. If she says no, nothing at all changes about your life, except that you know longer worry about this entire situation. if she says yes, way to go!

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Do you like her? If you do, you may as well give her a call, and if she answers say something along the lines of "I was sick, so sorry, try again?"

 

I find that if I think I might have trouble conversing on the phone, or that I don't know what to say, a great remedy is to make a flowchart. As cheesy, stupid, and childish as it sounds, it works. Start out with somethign you have in common, and make a flowchart/web from there in the directions you think the conversation could go. That way you always have something to say and won't sound like a moron.

 

I know it is easier said than done, but you may as well call her. If she says no, nothing at all changes about your life, except that you know longer worry about this entire situation. if she says yes, way to go!

 

Thanks Instinctive,

the problem is, i did drive the half hour to meet her. About 2 minutes before arriving is when the panic attack started. I was on the highway & considered getting off at a different exit, but continued to the restaurant anyway. When i got there, i did see someone who could've been her standing in front. I drove to the end of the parking lot & sat, hoping the attack would subside. I had a 1/2 hour buffer & was early, but after another half hour i was no better. That is when i drove away to a nearby mall & call her cell. I don't even know if she saw/recognized me pull in or leave. All i could think at the time was just to feel better.

When i called her cell, it rang 4 or 5 times before going to voicemail. I did wonder why she didn't pick up, but i left a apologetic message saying i was soo sorry, something came up that i had to turn around, but would make it up to her & would call later to explain. My voice was noticably stressed. I called her at home later last night, but did not leave a message.

Hope that clears up why i feel apprehensive calling again.. as i wouldn't know how to explain that i was there, but did not go in. Frankly, i wouldn't have been able to speak had i gone in, that was how badly i was affected.

Great timing :(

 

Scorp

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