Ahh..the chase is on

[Tantrumboy]

Hey guys..its been a long long time since my last post and i am extremely pleased to me posting here again..pleased and confused..again.

 

So there is this downright gorgeous girl at work (i know, i know, work romances are bad..leads to indigestion blah blah). but she comes to work only once a week for one hour. So previously during semester break she was coming to work quite a bit (she is the proverbial..hot intern).

 

So during that time period, we flirted like freaking crazy.e.g she passed by my cubicle a LOT..smiled a LOT..talked and laughed A LOT..seemed to really enjoy my company and always noticed my lunch timings..chiding me twice for looong lunches..dilated pupils and the works.

 

Anyway, so one day i felt brave and i asked her out..ouch turns out she has a bf..a live-in bf nonetheless..never mentioned before. ok so i apologized and she emails me on company mail (i think all of new mexico knows my shame now) saying that i shouldnt take it personally and dont be upset and that she would be pissed if her 'SO' does the same to her and i replied saying no problem, and that her bf is one lucky guy.

 

So moving on..we still FLIRT a lot and i tease her a lot..and she never mentions her bf even changing her story to me and saying her 'DAD' will pick her up when she told others as confirmed by them that her 'BF' was supposed to do that.

 

I see her today after about a week, the first thing she said was 'did you cry a lot this week?' (basically if i missed her and cried like a hungry baby) and i replied by saying if she admits to crying then i will admit it too. she laughed that one away.

 

Bottom line: i like her, and i respect her relationship (but dont get me wrong if she tries to kiss me i will take her in the middle of our office)..but still whats with all the flirting?..do you guys think she likes me? or just craves the attention? or is sizing me up as a backup?..Thanks a lot for listening and being my emotional tampon.

Edited January 19, 2008 by Tantrumboy

[BeautifulMystique]

Bottom line: i like her, and i respect her relationship (but dont get me wrong if she tries to kiss me i will take her in the middle of our office)..but still whats with all the flirting?..do you guys think she likes me? or just craves the attention? or is sizing me up as a backup?..Thanks a lot for listening and being my emotional tampon.

 

I have zero tolerance for people like your intern. She has a boyfriend and is a big flirt. Isn't that enough to tell you that she loves the attention? You're something new and it's an ego boost for any living human being to have another person to flirt with outrageously. Ask her if she's ok with her live-in boyfriend flirting with an office mate or any girl for that matter.

[Saxis]

I don't understand why you'd even want to get involved. If you do happen to steal her away, she'll most likely continue what she's doing, but with the next in line. Just setting yourself up to get walked all over....

[Tantrumboy]

I have zero tolerance for people like your intern. She has a boyfriend and is a big flirt. Isn't that enough to tell you that she loves the attention? You're something new and it's an ego boost for any living human being to have another person to flirt with outrageously. Ask her if she's ok with her live-in boyfriend flirting with an office mate or any girl for that matter.

 

pretty much what i expected was going on. i will try and ignore her stone cold in the future. thanks for the reply.

[Green]

If you really want her sounds like you could posibly have her, atleast sexualy. She doesnt sound like good gf material from what I hear. Some girls tell you they have a bf and then you can answer with "So what, I dont want to take him out" and then the girl just goes out with you. Its kinda like she tells you so she doesnt have to feel the guilt and then if you still want to do stuff then she just does

[Tantrumboy]

If you really want her sounds like you could posibly have her, atleast sexualy. She doesnt sound like good gf material from what I hear. Some girls tell you they have a bf and then you can answer with "So what, I dont want to take him out" and then the girl just goes out with you. Its kinda like she tells you so she doesnt have to feel the guilt and then if you still want to do stuff then she just does

 

Interesting observation ! i would have thought the same..but she comes across as this real homely, wholesome, loyal, shy individual. She certainly has me fooled i guess..even our flirting is not anywhere close to sexual. Anyway, i honestly dont think she is looking for a tryst with me..sometimes you just know.

[Green]

Interesting observation ! i would have thought the same..but she comes across as this real homely, wholesome, loyal, shy individual. She certainly has me fooled i guess..even our flirting is not anywhere close to sexual. Anyway, i honestly dont think she is looking for a tryst with me..sometimes you just know.

 

Yeah basicaly 4 things could be happening from the situation you described (1) She can't help herself and liked you as a friend but only knows how to flirt (2) She playing mind games for the amusment of seeing how your going to act by bringing up her bf one day then hiding him through the guise of her dad picking her up the next. (3) She doesn't want to leave her bf but brought him up knowing that if you cheated with her she could blame you because she clearly told you she has a bf. (4) Hot chicks especialy at this age always have some bf or something she may want to break up and date you. Could be any of those 4 things or some combination. Personaly if I were in your situation I would have either fked her by now or just fked things up to the point where that was no longer an option

[Tantrumboy]

Yeah basicaly 4 things could be happening from the situation you described (1) She can't help herself and liked you as a friend but only knows how to flirt (2) She playing mind games for the amusment of seeing how your going to act by bringing up her bf one day then hiding him through the guise of her dad picking her up the next. (3) She doesn't want to leave her bf but brought him up knowing that if you cheated with her she could blame you because she clearly told you she has a bf. (4) Hot chicks especialy at this age always have some bf or something she may want to break up and date you. Could be any of those 4 things or some combination. Personaly if I were in your situation I would have either fked her by now or just fked things up to the point where that was no longer an option

 

i think its definetly one of those 4 options that you mentioned in play here. i Strongly think its option #4.

but anyhoo..i guess since she is only gonna come once a week now..i shld pick one of 3 options here :

 

1) Ignore her completely (basically saying i am not gonna satisfy you..you attention whore).

2) Continue doing the same (basically hoping one day she breaks up with bf and comes running into my arms).

3) Ask her out again (basically at the risk of looking like a complete fool).

 

What do you think ?

[Green]

i think its definetly one of those 4 options that you mentioned in play here. i Strongly think its option #4.

but anyhoo..i guess since she is only gonna come once a week now..i shld pick one of 3 options here :

 

1) Ignore her completely (basically saying i am not gonna satisfy you..you attention whore).

2) Continue doing the same (basically hoping one day she breaks up with bf and comes running into my arms).

3) Ask her out again (basically at the risk of looking like a complete fool).

 

What do you think ?

 

go with number 3 but make sure you jokingly tease her a little if she says no for throwing out all the signals. and dont worry about looking like a fool

[TigerCub]

You did mention that your flirting with this girl isn't even sexual, so what I'm going to say next isn't intended to be mean in any way, but I think that some times guys mistake joking around/being friendly for flirting.

 

I work in a branch that's mainly composed of males and yes, there are a few of the guys my age that I've become closer to and I joke around with them and we tease each other and sometimes when I'm passing by their cubicles I stop by and bug them and stuff and I talk to them like I'm one of the guys, (we joke around about everything, and they let loose with all the dirty guy jokes and stuff and I don't care I just enjoy the banter), but it's not ever intented to come off as flirting - just because its coming for a pretty girl in a dress and heals.

 

So maybe this girl doesn't realize that you think she's flirting with you.

I'd say don't go for option 3 and just treat her like you always do, and if it so happens that she was interested and things fall apart with her current boyfriend then maybe you guys can start something and at least that way, no one had to cheat.

[THE THRONE]

1) Ignore her completely (basically saying i am not gonna satisfy you..you attention whore).

 

THE THRONE says this is what you need to do, pal. She doesn't want a physical relationship with you, and asking her out again is simply going to reinforce her shabby behavior.

[Green]

You did mention that your flirting with this girl isn't even sexual, so what I'm going to say next isn't intended to be mean in any way, but I think that some times guys mistake joking around/being friendly for flirting.

 

I work in a branch that's mainly composed of males and yes, there are a few of the guys my age that I've become closer to and I joke around with them and we tease each other and sometimes when I'm passing by their cubicles I stop by and bug them and stuff and I talk to them like I'm one of the guys, (we joke around about everything, and they let loose with all the dirty guy jokes and stuff and I don't care I just enjoy the banter), but it's not ever intented to come off as flirting - just because its coming for a pretty girl in a dress and heals.

 

So maybe this girl doesn't realize that you think she's flirting with you.

I'd say don't go for option 3 and just treat her like you always do, and if it so happens that she was interested and things fall apart with her current boyfriend then maybe you guys can start something and at least that way, no one had to cheat.

 

what about how she told some people in the office her bf was comming and then him her dad was comming when he knew it was her bf hmmm. Look your a woman of course your not going to understand why he needs to go with option 3. What you do at your office with these guys your not interested in is completly different then what this girl who activly seeks him out and figures his lunch breaks has done. Look he may be reading the signs wrong but thats a risk he's going to have to take many times in his life untill he settles down with one lucky lady.

 

THE THRONE says this is what you need to do, pal. She doesn't want a physical relationship with you, and asking her out again is simply going to reinforce her shabby behavior.

 

Le KMT says your wrong, I've seen this situation turn out the way I think it will

[THE THRONE]

Le KMT says your wrong, I've seen this situation turn out the way I think it will

 

THE THRONE knows you're wrong as THE THRONE has seen many instances similar to this that resulted in nothing but heart ache and trouble.

 

He has already asked her out, she has said NO. Why lower himself to the statust of a groveling worm? She has a BF and has made it clear that she does not want to go out with him. This woman, and THE THRONE uses the term very loosly, is an A.W., and she will continue to lead him on and play with him because he is an emotional tampon. She is using him for what she is obviously lacking in the relationship with her B.F. (or she could just be a flirt.)

 

In any case, the Doctrine of the Seven-Legged Lamb should be the final authority of the subject. With that, THE THRONE will open the Book of the Seven-Legged Lamb. Chapter 4 ,verse 304 says:

 

"304. Thou shalt not again ask out a woman who has rejected thee and made mention of a boyfriend."

 

Also, In chapter 29, verse 21-22 of The Book of the Seven-Legged Lamb, it reads:

 

"21. Thou shalt not commit to a woman until she hath completely fallen head over heels and proven her worth. 22. Thou shalt not be eager to consider her voice but shalt be quick to judge her worth by her actions."

Her actions are speaking loud and clear here.

Edited January 20, 2008 by THE THRONE

[Green]

THE THRONE knows you're wrong as THE THRONE has seen many instances similar to this that resulted in nothing but heart ache and trouble.

 

He has already asked her out, she has said NO. Why lower himself to the statust of a groveling worm? She has a BF and has made it clear that she does not want to go out with him. This woman, and THE THRONE uses the term very loosly, is an A.W., and she will continue to lead him on and play with him because he is an emotional tampon. She is using him for what she is obviously lacking in the relationship with her B.F. (or she could just be a flirt.)

 

In any case, the Doctrine of the Seven-Legged Lamb should be the final authority of the subject. With that, THE THRONE will open the Book of the Seven-Legged Lamb. Chapter 4 ,verse 304 says:

 

"304. Thou shalt not again ask out a woman who has rejected thee and made mention of a boyfriend."

 

Also, In chapter 29, verse 21-22 of The Book of the Seven-Legged Lamb, it reads:

 

"21. Thou shalt not commit to a woman until she hath completely fallen head over heels and proven her worth. 22. Thou shalt not be eager to consider her voice but shalt be quick to judge her worth by her actions."

 

Her actions are speaking loud and clear here.

 

dude you've lost it in an entertaining sort of way. I admit its a balsy move, but he's esentialy got nothing to lose. The entire reason he wrote this post is because his gut instinct is theres still a chance. This guy strikes me as a somewhat reliable character so I'm giving him that extra boost to follow his gut instinct.

[THE THRONE]

dude you've lost it in an entertaining sort of way. I admit its a balsy move, but he's esentialy got nothing to lose. The entire reason he wrote this post is because his gut instinct is theres still a chance. This guy strikes me as a somewhat reliable character so I'm giving him that extra boost to follow his gut instinct.

 

He is mistaking LUST for his gut instinct. He knows what she is doing but he is in complete denial and wishing upon a star.

[Green]

He is mistaking LUST for his gut instinct. He knows what she is doing but he is in complete denial and wishing upon a star.

 

even if thats true he's got nothing to loose, unless of course he's one of those guys who takes it to personel when he gets rejected. Look I always go with my gut instinct... If I think a woman likes me and I want her I go for it no matter how factualy unlikely it might be. Even if he is completly wrong and she actualy hates him, he has nothing to lose

[THE THRONE]

even if thats true he's got nothing to loose,

unless of course he's one of those guys who takes it to personel when he gets rejected.

 

He has plenty to lose, but you want to know what he will lose the most? Time and energy he could have invested in an available woman.

 

Look I always go with my gut instinct... If I think a woman likes me and I want her I go for it no matter how factualy unlikely it might be.

 

Things would be different if this were a random woman off the street or someone he met while shopping for Now & Laters, but this woman has already rejected him. Would you continue to chase a woman who has told you she has a BF and rejected your advances? If so, that isn't gut instinct but a complete disregard for logic and obvious denial. Do we see her investing any REAL time in him or a possible relationship? No? So why should he invest time in her? Guess where she is right now? Most likely in the arms of her BF while he is dreaming about "taking her in the office." This is reality, and he needs to wake up and smell the Kona.

 

Even if he is completly wrong and she actualy hates him, he has nothing to lose

 

He has a lot to lose. His reputation in the work place, his jaw and wisdom teeth if the BF finds out he's been flirting with his girl (basically if the BF is insecure) and most of all, time.

Edited January 20, 2008 by THE THRONE

[Tantrumboy]

Holy Crap..this is turning into one lively discussion over some girl who is probably taking it in the ass right now.

 

Honestly..breaking it down KMT said a lot of it goes by guts..and i somehow know she likes me..(because i am 24..and i CAN let people know about my intentions very clearly)..she knows it and continues to flirt with me. However the caveat is she comes across as this sweet, innocent shy kinda girl, i really dont think she wants to cheat on her bf but i really think she HAS paid some thought about switching coz she knows i will start dating her like an idiot.

 

now..my original intention was to find out if she is really likes me or the attention? and what is she upto? and secondly i wanted to know my gameplan going forward. which right now is to just wait for things to happen..coz if she does breakup with her SO..she will let me know. I can also take KMT's advice and just ask her out again..and when she mentions her bf ..say something like 'so whens the marriage?'..but my gut feeling is that i will hit her bf wall again coz she comes across as the person that will break up first and then date other handsome men later.

 

Anyway..she is ideal gf material..i would love to have her on my arm..but i think it will just happen..and if i force it, then i will strikeout again.

[Green]

Holy Crap..this is turning into one lively discussion over some girl who is probably taking it in the ass right now.

 

 

 

Anyway..she is ideal gf material..i would love to have her on my arm..but i think it will just happen..and if i force it, then i will strikeout again.

 

LOL! and yes thats what you need to do then

[82knightrider]

THE THRONE knows you're wrong as THE THRONE has seen many instances similar to this that resulted in nothing but heart ache and trouble.

 

He has already asked her out, she has said NO. Why lower himself to the statust of a groveling worm? She has a BF and has made it clear that she does not want to go out with him. This woman, and THE THRONE uses the term very loosly, is an A.W., and she will continue to lead him on and play with him because he is an emotional tampon. She is using him for what she is obviously lacking in the relationship with her B.F. (or she could just be a flirt.)

 

In any case, the Doctrine of the Seven-Legged Lamb should be the final authority of the subject. With that, THE THRONE will open the Book of the Seven-Legged Lamb. Chapter 4 ,verse 304 says:

 

"304. Thou shalt not again ask out a woman who has rejected thee and made mention of a boyfriend."

 

Also, In chapter 29, verse 21-22 of The Book of the Seven-Legged Lamb, it reads:

 

"21. Thou shalt not commit to a woman until she hath completely fallen head over heels and proven her worth. 22. Thou shalt not be eager to consider her voice but shalt be quick to judge her worth by her actions."

 

Her actions are speaking loud and clear here.

 

What up Throne. Hook a brotha up the knowledge of the 7 legged lamb ...

[Florida]

Anyway..she is ideal gf material..i would love to have her on my arm..but i think it will just happen..and if i force it, then i will strikeout again.

 

Unbelievable. A girl who is flirting shamelessly and sending out signals to you while in a relationship is GF material.

 

Some great single girls can't even find a worthy guy and this particular one to you is *relationship material*. Yeesh:p

[brightskies]

If she's flirting with you she's not:

 

1. as loyal as you think

2. ideal gf material

 

Yeah, she's hot, and that's screwing up your reason. Step back and you'll see she's just enjoying the attention.

 

No need to ignore her stone cold --- but back away and be no more than civil. Why feed her ego when she already made it clear that she's taken? Go after some other girl who's actually single. You're hitting on OPP. Wouldn't you be ticked off if some guy were hitting on your gf and asking her out?