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Urgently need assistance with this!!


slade the anarkist

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slade the anarkist

Hey

The last few months i've met a few different girls here and there. But for some reason, the girls that i like; arent interested. And the girls that like me, are either too closer friends or i just am not attracted to them as much as they are to me.

 

At the start of last year, i met the first girl that i actually loved. Which was a bitch, because she ended up cheating on me hahah. It's hard to get rid of the feelings for first person you really really like. And the girl i was with, 3 months after her, made me feel terrible. because i just didnt like her as much as the first.

 

My goal is to find a girl that i really like again. And i go out clubbing all the time, meeting new people etc. I couldnt figure out why the girls i liked weren't interested/ then i spoke to them formerly about why.

 

For some reason they think i come across as gay? After gauging lots of difference answers from different girls, i think its come down to what i wear when i go out clubbing with mates. I think its considered "metro" or something.

 

Anyway my new years resolution is to find and eliminate the "gay vibe". Because it's frustrating and (to put it bluntly) its also cock blocking me really badly.

 

I need some girls to see if they can figure out what it is that is causing this vibe. my myspace is http://www.myspace.com if it helps?

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First, people who don't have a myspace (at least from what just happened to me) can't see your page using that link.

 

Two, a guy who comes on too strong is such a HUGE TURN-OFF!!!! How many girls actually said you come off as "gay"?

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Wow. That's REALLY hard to comment on. I mean, no way to know if you give off a gay vibe without meeting you, really. More importantly - do YOU think it's true? Do you think you give off that energy?

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i know someone else who is often accused by women of being gay - but isnt. with him i would say its his approach, not manly/tough enough.....

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slade the anarkist

Nope.. i dont think i give off that vibe. I cant figure out what it is, but the sooner its fixed the better

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Ouch.. I actually know how you feel. I've had a couple girls I was interested in reject me because they thought I was "gay". Want to know why? Was it how I dressed, acted, talked, or just held myself? Nope. It was because I have more female friends then male, and I tend to hang out with girls more then guys. No, I don't only hang out with female friends, I go out with my guy friends all the time.. I just don't see that as a valid reason to consider someone "gay", just because they have a lot of friends of the opposite sex :p

 

Anyways, I don't know what to say. If they said it's your clothing then you could try changing it, although I personally don't think clubs/bars are any good place to meet girls for meaningful relationships.

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I like your profile tune. :)

 

Is that how you normally dress? Head band and ripped tee-shirt? I guess if you're going for an 80's look it works, but I can see how the outfit can be construed as being a bit femmy. Hard to say again - if your whole crew dresses like that, then that is norm for your group.

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MadMissKelly

Im sure youre a super nice guy.

 

Since you asked I would say that the hair, and the shirt style. I mean, it could just be from where im from(US), that a lot of the gay guys have their hair like that, and weir the tight V-neck shirts. I mean, I cant tell you to change your style, I wouldnt do that, and wouldnt expect you to do that, lol. Maybe try a little more preppy type shirts?(IDK). Like polos, tee-shirts, that arent really tight, but show off your figure and stuff.

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slade the anarkist
It was because I have more female friends then male, and I tend to hang out with girls more then guys.

 

actually yeah.. tbh i have alot of friends who are chicks. MAINLY because i am trying to meet a girl i really like and end up meeting alot of cool chicks on the way. Its networking lol.

 

Maybe there are.. too many fem friends. i dunno.

 

i just assumed that a chick wants a dude who is clean. not some dirty bogan

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MadMissKelly

Girls are confusing LOL. We never know exactly what we want. We want a tough guy who is sensitive. We want strength, yet a bit of a softie. We want a protector who will fight for us, yet a lover.

 

 

It gets complicated. LOL

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actually yeah.. tbh i have alot of friends who are chicks. MAINLY because i am trying to meet a girl i really like and end up meeting alot of cool chicks on the way. Its networking lol.

 

Maybe there are.. too many fem friends. i dunno.

 

i just assumed that a chick wants a dude who is clean. not some dirty bogan

 

I'm the same way, really. I pride myself in taking adequate care of my body and being a clean guy. I mainly wear band tee's, dark jeans, etc. I'm not too fond of the preppy look.

 

I don't really know what to say, other then if you LIKE how you look then you shouldn't change for anyone, ever. If you don't like your appearance, then might as well mix it up with something new. :D

 

Also - and I know this is going to sound pretty dumb, but.. Do you have what some people would consider a 'gay' voice? I know not all (or even many, for that matter) gay people talk in slightly-feminine, high-pitched voices (and use "like!" and "Oh my god!" all the time :p ) but you never know.. Just checking all possibilities. Nothing you can really change there though.

 

Hmm, I dunno what else to say.

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Girls are confusing LOL. We never know exactly what we want. We want a tough guy who is sensitive. We want strength, yet a bit of a softie. We want a protector who will fight for us, yet a lover.

 

 

It gets complicated. LOL

 

Tell me about it - I try to be the sensitive guy and I 'just don't have that spark'. I try and be the tough macho guy and "I'm just not a person who's easy to talk to". Make up your mind, women! :p We're content with a pretty face and an affectionate personality :love:

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Prodigal Princess

Hm, I have to say that from your profile pic you do look like you'd hang around Oxford Street (for those outside Australia, it's the gay hub of Sydney).

 

It just looks like you're trying too hard to be fashionable. Get rid of the highlights in your hair and tone down the accessories. Also, I'd say a pub or bar would be a much better place to pick up than out clubbing.

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slade the anarkist

Dynamo:

 

 

no hahah i dont have a gay voice. i know the voice you mean, but no. I think it is still narrowing down to the way i look.

 

its **** because - i buy new clothes when my old sh*t gets holes in it. but i dont know what to buy - so i walk into a clothes store and just "i have no idea what i need. pick out some crap and ill buy it". Thus the things i own are a result of having no freaken clue what i am supposed to wear to NOT look normal. The girls tend to pick out really dressy things.

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Just your main myspace pic screams QUEER! Also, what is up with flicking the camera off? That's not cool.

 

I think you are trying TOO HARD in all field, getting girls, looking "good", being trendy, etc.

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Dynamo:

 

 

no hahah i dont have a gay voice. i know the voice you mean, but no. I think it is still narrowing down to the way i look.

 

its **** because - i buy new clothes when my old sh*t gets holes in it. but i dont know what to buy - so i walk into a clothes store and just "i have no idea what i need. pick out some crap and ill buy it". Thus the things i own are a result of having no freaken clue what i am supposed to wear to NOT look normal. The girls tend to pick out really dressy things.

 

 

Are you asking the people who work there for advice, or female friends you bring along with you? Often times the in-store people try to get you to buy the most expensive stuff they can, just to turn a decent profit. If you have any female friends who have good fashion sense (for guys, of course.. :p ) and enjoy shopping (what girls don't..) then try getting them to tag along with you to the mall and have them help you out. I did that a while back- its a little embarrassing asking them for help at first but I've found most girls are absolutely thrilled to do it, and I've got a great wardrobe I look good in out of it :D

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Slade, fly to the states and we will give you a man-over. How's that sound? :)

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slade the anarkist

jilly, sounds like a plan haha :)

 

and nah i do usually take chick friends out to help me buy stuff. but i have a very short attention span, and the time it takes for them to pick stuff out, compared to the chicks who work at the shop and actually know the merchandise... well.. yeah.

 

anyways i really appreciate everyone's help here. Its friday today, so tonight ill tone down the 'metro look' thing, head into town and see how stuff goes.

 

haha this is not my fault! damn girls selling me the wrong clothes!!

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jilly, sounds like a plan haha :)

 

and nah i do usually take chick friends out to help me buy stuff. but i have a very short attention span, and the time it takes for them to pick stuff out, compared to the chicks who work at the shop and actually know the merchandise... well.. yeah.

 

anyways i really appreciate everyone's help here. Its friday today, so tonight ill tone down the 'metro look' thing, head into town and see how stuff goes.

 

haha this is not my fault! damn girls selling me the wrong clothes!!

 

 

LOL! You can never trust 'em :p

Good luck man, let us know the results.

 

EDIT: Oh and take Jilly up on the advice, the states could certainly manify you, haha

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slade the anarkist

but what is it that needs to be "manified" ?

sport seriously bores the sh*t outta me

cars. boring.

 

i like to go out partying.. clubbing. drinkin with mates.

i do computer stuff at university.

im interestin anything electrical. everything from sound and video production (small films or recording for local bands) to programming and gaming.

 

Apparently i have a reaaally sick sense of humour. nothing insults me hahah.

 

i;'ve only ever read 2 interesting books. 'the complete ass holes guide to handling chicks" which was a book a friend gave me 4 years ago. Not a serious book ofcourse. very funny tho. and "the alphabet of manliness" which was also funny as sh*t.

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but what is it that needs to be "manified" ?

sport seriously bores the sh*t outta me

cars. boring.

 

i like to go out partying.. clubbing. drinkin with mates.

i do computer stuff at university.

im interestin anything electrical. everything from sound and video production (small films or recording for local bands) to programming and gaming.

 

Apparently i have a reaaally sick sense of humour. nothing insults me hahah.

 

i;'ve only ever read 2 interesting books. 'the complete ass holes guide to handling chicks" which was a book a friend gave me 4 years ago. Not a serious book ofcourse. very funny tho. and "the alphabet of manliness" which was also funny as sh*t.

 

Aha, I'm a Maddox fan myself. :D I still have to pick up his book though.

 

I was only kidding about the manify thing - be yourself, don't change to try and 'conform' with macho-man stereotypes. After all, you want to be with someone who likes you for you, right?

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I was only kidding about the manify thing - be yourself, don't change to try and 'conform' with macho-man stereotypes. After all, you want to be with someone who likes you for you, right?

 

True dat. It's hard to be manified if it's not who you really are. Like Dyn said, it's one thing to make changes, but if they go so far against your normal grain, it would be hard to maintain AND pull off.

 

Though we do offer a 7-day intensive course. I promise you, it's not pretty... ;)

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slade the anarkist

i know people say dont change yourself for anyone, but you all agree that circumstances change when it is NECESSARY to READJUST yourself to achieve a goal. such as readjusting yourself to meet the correct type of girl you are after :D

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