LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

Urgently need assistance with this!!


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 3rd January 2008, 7:45 PM   #1
Member
 
slade the anarkist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NSW/Australia
Posts: 15
Exclamation Urgently need assistance with this!!

Hey
The last few months i've met a few different girls here and there. But for some reason, the girls that i like; arent interested. And the girls that like me, are either too closer friends or i just am not attracted to them as much as they are to me.

At the start of last year, i met the first girl that i actually loved. Which was a bitch, because she ended up cheating on me hahah. It's hard to get rid of the feelings for first person you really really like. And the girl i was with, 3 months after her, made me feel terrible. because i just didnt like her as much as the first.

My goal is to find a girl that i really like again. And i go out clubbing all the time, meeting new people etc. I couldnt figure out why the girls i liked weren't interested/ then i spoke to them formerly about why.

For some reason they think i come across as gay? After gauging lots of difference answers from different girls, i think its come down to what i wear when i go out clubbing with mates. I think its considered "metro" or something.

Anyway my new years resolution is to find and eliminate the "gay vibe". Because it's frustrating and (to put it bluntly) its also cock blocking me really badly.

I need some girls to see if they can figure out what it is that is causing this vibe. my myspace is www.myspace.com if it helps?
slade the anarkist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd January 2008, 7:49 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Jordane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicago!
Posts: 221
Red face

First, people who don't have a myspace (at least from what just happened to me) can't see your page using that link.

Two, a guy who comes on too strong is such a HUGE TURN-OFF!!!! How many girls actually said you come off as "gay"?
__________________
"When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome. Then, of course, you spoke."
- Carol Connelly (Helen Hunt)
Jordane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd January 2008, 7:50 PM   #3
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: North of the Tropic of Cancer
Posts: 8,012
Wow. That's REALLY hard to comment on. I mean, no way to know if you give off a gay vibe without meeting you, really. More importantly - do YOU think it's true? Do you think you give off that energy?
Jilly Bean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd January 2008, 7:53 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,009
i know someone else who is often accused by women of being gay - but isnt. with him i would say its his approach, not manly/tough enough.....
so gutted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd January 2008, 7:53 PM   #5
Member
 
slade the anarkist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NSW/Australia
Posts: 15
oops myspace is www.myspace.com/sandwichlord
haha made that ****.. like.. years ago.
slade the anarkist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd January 2008, 7:57 PM   #6
Member
 
slade the anarkist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NSW/Australia
Posts: 15
Nope.. i dont think i give off that vibe. I cant figure out what it is, but the sooner its fixed the better
slade the anarkist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd January 2008, 7:58 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 227
Ouch.. I actually know how you feel. I've had a couple girls I was interested in reject me because they thought I was "gay". Want to know why? Was it how I dressed, acted, talked, or just held myself? Nope. It was because I have more female friends then male, and I tend to hang out with girls more then guys. No, I don't only hang out with female friends, I go out with my guy friends all the time.. I just don't see that as a valid reason to consider someone "gay", just because they have a lot of friends of the opposite sex :P

Anyways, I don't know what to say. If they said it's your clothing then you could try changing it, although I personally don't think clubs/bars are any good place to meet girls for meaningful relationships.
Dynamo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd January 2008, 7:58 PM   #8
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: North of the Tropic of Cancer
Posts: 8,012
I like your profile tune.

Is that how you normally dress? Head band and ripped tee-shirt? I guess if you're going for an 80's look it works, but I can see how the outfit can be construed as being a bit femmy. Hard to say again - if your whole crew dresses like that, then that is norm for your group.
Jilly Bean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd January 2008, 7:58 PM   #9
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 18
Im sure youre a super nice guy.

Since you asked I would say that the hair, and the shirt style. I mean, it could just be from where im from(US), that a lot of the gay guys have their hair like that, and weir the tight V-neck shirts. I mean, I cant tell you to change your style, I wouldnt do that, and wouldnt expect you to do that, lol. Maybe try a little more preppy type shirts?(IDK). Like polos, tee-shirts, that arent really tight, but show off your figure and stuff.
MadMissKelly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd January 2008, 8:02 PM   #10
Member
 
slade the anarkist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NSW/Australia
Posts: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dynamo View Post
It was because I have more female friends then male, and I tend to hang out with girls more then guys.
actually yeah.. tbh i have alot of friends who are chicks. MAINLY because i am trying to meet a girl i really like and end up meeting alot of cool chicks on the way. Its networking lol.

Maybe there are.. too many fem friends. i dunno.

i just assumed that a chick wants a dude who is clean. not some dirty bogan
slade the anarkist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd January 2008, 8:07 PM   #11
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 18
Girls are confusing LOL. We never know exactly what we want. We want a tough guy who is sensitive. We want strength, yet a bit of a softie. We want a protector who will fight for us, yet a lover.


It gets complicated. LOL
MadMissKelly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd January 2008, 8:10 PM   #12
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by slade the anarkist View Post
actually yeah.. tbh i have alot of friends who are chicks. MAINLY because i am trying to meet a girl i really like and end up meeting alot of cool chicks on the way. Its networking lol.

Maybe there are.. too many fem friends. i dunno.

i just assumed that a chick wants a dude who is clean. not some dirty bogan
I'm the same way, really. I pride myself in taking adequate care of my body and being a clean guy. I mainly wear band tee's, dark jeans, etc. I'm not too fond of the preppy look.

I don't really know what to say, other then if you LIKE how you look then you shouldn't change for anyone, ever. If you don't like your appearance, then might as well mix it up with something new.

Also - and I know this is going to sound pretty dumb, but.. Do you have what some people would consider a 'gay' voice? I know not all (or even many, for that matter) gay people talk in slightly-feminine, high-pitched voices (and use "like!" and "Oh my god!" all the time :P ) but you never know.. Just checking all possibilities. Nothing you can really change there though.

Hmm, I dunno what else to say.
Dynamo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd January 2008, 8:12 PM   #13
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadMissKelly View Post
Girls are confusing LOL. We never know exactly what we want. We want a tough guy who is sensitive. We want strength, yet a bit of a softie. We want a protector who will fight for us, yet a lover.


It gets complicated. LOL
Tell me about it - I try to be the sensitive guy and I 'just don't have that spark'. I try and be the tough macho guy and "I'm just not a person who's easy to talk to". Make up your mind, women! :P We're content with a pretty face and an affectionate personality
Dynamo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd January 2008, 8:13 PM   #14
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,024
Hm, I have to say that from your profile pic you do look like you'd hang around Oxford Street (for those outside Australia, it's the gay hub of Sydney).

It just looks like you're trying too hard to be fashionable. Get rid of the highlights in your hair and tone down the accessories. Also, I'd say a pub or bar would be a much better place to pick up than out clubbing.
Prodigal Princess is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd January 2008, 9:21 PM   #15
Member
 
slade the anarkist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NSW/Australia
Posts: 15
Dynamo:


no hahah i dont have a gay voice. i know the voice you mean, but no. I think it is still narrowing down to the way i look.

its **** because - i buy new clothes when my old sh*t gets holes in it. but i dont know what to buy - so i walk into a clothes store and just "i have no idea what i need. pick out some crap and ill buy it". Thus the things i own are a result of having no freaken clue what i am supposed to wear to NOT look normal. The girls tend to pick out really dressy things.
slade the anarkist is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Urgently need advice jujud Infidelity 6 6th October 2005 3:34 AM
Help needed urgently for a needy gal who's bf is away litasparrow Long-Distance Relationships 1 3rd February 2004 10:14 AM
Urgently need all the help and advice Eddie Archive 3 13th August 2001 11:06 PM
i need help urgently. renill83 Archive 2 19th July 2001 1:22 PM
confused and need help urgently rebecca Archive 1 2nd May 2000 9:38 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 8:00 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.