Rise Against Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 (edited) Alright, well there is this dinner I am going to go to that this girl invited me to. She will be very sad if I don't go. Well unfortunately I'm the only guy (HAHA YAY!). There are going to be a bunch of girls and I want to know how I should act. I'm still sort of getting mixed signals from the girl I like. - She says I'm cute, smart, funny - Says how she will be very lonely without me when I leave for vacation for a week. - Touches me - Sits very close to me, like on the same chair sometimes. - Looks at me from a distance sometimes and I see that she does so. - Says how I'm a funny guy (always) and how I'm her favourite guy. - Talks about how we're a really good fit and how we think alike, what our tastes in this are. - Compliment how she is a very successful person with me since we became friends. - Invites me to her house, offers me drives - Talks to her parents all about me, and her parents love me. Lol:lmao: Sometimes what I don't understand is she says how were good friends, how she should buy me coffee (Like invite me to Starbucks). Oh yes, her family really loved the flowers I gave her and the chocolates for Christmas! Thank you. Edited January 2, 2008 by Rise Against Link to post Share on other sites
jumping-jacks Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 What else were you waiting for, an invitation. She obviously likes you. Make a move, the worst that could happen is she just wants to be friends. As far as dinner goes, that is a prime opportunity to be the funniest guy alive. Thats what I enjoy doing is getting an entire table of girls laughing. You should sit near and talk to the girl that likes you but not ignore her friends. In my experience she may have asked you to this because either you haven't asked her out or shes uncomfortable asking you out 1 on 1. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 Boy, I'm trying to figure out what of those signals seems "mixed" to you; it all seems pretty "thumbs-up" to me... Her describing you to someone as a "good friend" is not inconsistent with everything else(unless she makes it sound like a protest, like "we're just good friends..." or something limiting like that...) it's probably just as far as she will let herself go until she's more sure of your interest... What is the occasion of this dinner party anyway? How is it that you'll be the only guy among a bunch of girls? Anyway, just be yourself, be friendly and interested (and interesting!) with the other guests, but make sure she knows that your main attention is focused on her. Don't get into flirting situations with the other girls, and don't let one or more of them monopolize all of your time. It's OK to drift away while mingling or in conversations or whatever, but go back and make it a point to check in with her occasionally during the evening, as if to say "You're why I'm here..." Try to act in a way that lets her know that you're an interesting guy, comfortable in social situations, but that you are reserving special attention just for her. I don't mean this as a put down, but I realize that this may be a lot of subtlety for a 17 year old; does it make sense to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rise Against Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 Thank you for all the tips but I guess my problem is how to ask her to strengthen our relationship. In a large group with all her friends or take her outside? It's how I should word it which is my problem (Like what to say). Like I don't want to just be like "Do you want to be my gf?". Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rise Against Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 Oh yeah sometimes she says how she loves other guys (plenty of them) like their quality (Smart, Polite which I all am according to her). but according to her sister she always talk about me - how she loves (like she really likes me, I don't think she means it the other term of love) me. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 I know.. I know... You'll be the only guy with a bunch of girls... and she said you're funny (a few times).. well... give them the time of their life... dance on a table... and maybe a strip would be fun... Seriously... I have the 'infaillible' tip... From what I read so far.. I think she sees you as a 'good friend' not sure she sees you as a 'bf' yet... but if you want to change that... EASY Flirt with a few girls at this thing... make her jealous (but just a bit)... I guarantee you that it will work... I swear.. Young girls do not like 'competition'.. if she thinks she could 'lose' you.. she will change and you'll become bf... not good friend. Let us know how it goes... if you adopt this attitude. It's the only way... trust me on that one. It's a 'female' thing... Link to post Share on other sites
EYECANDY000 Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 nooooooooooooooooo! dont lay out your feelings for her in front of her friends. When they leave then assist with cleaning up and tell her then. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rise Against Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 umm this is at a restuarant, but if I do ask her what should I say? Link to post Share on other sites
Saxis Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 I would actually wait until after this little dinner party with her friends. Go, have a good time, meet all her friends, and then sometime (day or two) after, tell her you had a great time but you'd really like to do that more often with only her. Take it slowly from there, but it's important to make your intentions clear as to not get friend-zoned. Link to post Share on other sites
Dynamo Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 umm this is at a restuarant, but if I do ask her what should I say? After the party, be sure to tell her how much fun you had and you really enjoyed dinner (be sure to say "with YOU" rather then "your friends", it'll make her think you were only focused on her the whole time). A day or two later, call her up, make small talk for a minute, remind her you had fun at the dinner and casually slip in an invite to another date, this time you being the host. You could invite some of your friends/let her invite some of hers if you still feel a little awkward the two of you being alone, although you shouldn't. Something like "Yeah, I had a great time out at dinner. Oh hey, I was planning on going (insert activity here) on (insert date here), want to tag along?" if she seems hesitant at first, say "I'd love it if you'd join me " Not the best, but should do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rise Against Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 so asking her in front of her friends will make her very embarassed. So I should wait until she is alone and ask about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 dude before dinner just say you want to tell her something and take her away from her friends and just plant a kiss on her. then dont talk about it much... that or you could say I cant make it to the dinner... and she;ll be sad... but then after a second or two pause be like lets get a drink togather tonight... then try to kiss her there.... are you young or inexperienced with women... maybe both ... cause u sound it ... not a bad thing... women should find it cute Link to post Share on other sites
Dynamo Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 dude before dinner just say you want to tell her something and take her away from her friends and just plant a kiss on her. then dont talk about it much... that or you could say I cant make it to the dinner... and she;ll be sad... but then after a second or two pause be like lets get a drink togather tonight... then try to kiss her there.... are you young or inexperienced with women... maybe both ... cause u sound it ... not a bad thing... women should find it cute I dunno about taking her out to get a drink, by the sounds of the first post the OP and his girl don't sound old enough for drinks. The kissing thing could work (no real need for words), but if she really does just want to be FRIENDS that could make things really awkward, and hey maybe shes not ready to be kissed. Never know. I think the best thing would be to verbally express how he feels, then if she reciprocates the feeling move in for the kiss! Don't cancel in the dinner, thats rude especially since he already said he could go. So, Rise Against, (LOVE the band btw, they are like my favorite band haha ), in answer to your question yes it'd most certainly make her and you feel embarrassed if you asked in front of her friends. I doubt she'd give you a straight answer in front of them because she'd feel pressured by you and her friends. It's best to talk to her alone, before hand or after the party. Good luck! I know it seems really nerve raking (I remember my first dinner party with female friends) but it really isn't like the spotlight's all on you or anything just relax, have fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 If you’re both old enough to drink alcohol a lounge would be a great place for a first date type thing. If your under 21 a coffee place or a smoothie place at the mall is a nice place to get a drink and flirt/talk then try and get your kiss my man. The problem with an after dinner kiss is that she will feel bloated, and maybe be self conscious about her breath, and it cost lots of money to go out to dinner, and its a lot of time to kill, and for you to screw up before getting that all important first kiss. Look just flirt, you know tell her she’s cute, playfully tease her about the way she dressed or a word she says funny or a face she makes what ever. Try to touch her, you know hand on the knee or shoulder or what ever. And then go for that kiss. She’ll be a lot more likely to forgive you for an unwanted attempt at a kiss then if she does want a kiss and you waited to long and now she only sees you as a friend. Having some talk about “I like you, do you like me” is lame, just flirt, tell her she’s cute pretty or what ever… be touchy… and then go for that kiss. The canceling dinner thing and then saying you should go out just you two and saying a time and place is golden, its an easy way of asking her out and getting her alone, because unless you separate her from her friends you shouldn’t try anything. Its fine to kiss her or what ever in front of strangers at the mall though. And if she stops you from kissing her just continue like normal and you can try again some other time, it really isn’t some awkward (forgive the pun) kiss of death if you get rejected, if you play it cool you’ll get another chance with her. If it comes to a point that its clear she doesn’t like you, and you’ve tried kissing her she’ll still leave friends as an option if you can move on stop focusing on her and try getting romantic with other girls. But it sounds like all the signals are there… so I say act because they are never there forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Dynamo Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 If you’re both old enough to drink alcohol a lounge would be a great place for a first date type thing. If your under 21 a coffee place or a smoothie place at the mall is a nice place to get a drink and flirt/talk then try and get your kiss my man. The problem with an after dinner kiss is that she will feel bloated, and maybe be self conscious about her breath, and it cost lots of money to go out to dinner, and its a lot of time to kill, and for you to screw up before getting that all important first kiss. Look just flirt, you know tell her she’s cute, playfully tease her about the way she dressed or a word she says funny or a face she makes what ever. Try to touch her, you know hand on the knee or shoulder or what ever. And then go for that kiss. She’ll be a lot more likely to forgive you for an unwanted attempt at a kiss then if she does want a kiss and you waited to long and now she only sees you as a friend. Having some talk about “I like you, do you like me” is lame, just flirt, tell her she’s cute pretty or what ever… be touchy… and then go for that kiss. The canceling dinner thing and then saying you should go out just you two and saying a time and place is golden, its an easy way of asking her out and getting her alone, because unless you separate her from her friends you shouldn’t try anything. Its fine to kiss her or what ever in front of strangers at the mall though. And if she stops you from kissing her just continue like normal and you can try again some other time, it really isn’t some awkward (forgive the pun) kiss of death if you get rejected, if you play it cool you’ll get another chance with her. If it comes to a point that its clear she doesn’t like you, and you’ve tried kissing her she’ll still leave friends as an option if you can move on stop focusing on her and try getting romantic with other girls. But it sounds like all the signals are there… so I say act because they are never there forever. Come to think of it you might want to listen to KMT's advice - what I said works too but she might end up shifting you to friend-zone before you make your next move; I know, I've been friend-zoned a lot Feel free to kiss her like he said, although I do want to say you shouldn't force yourself on her, thats a big no-no. A bunch of my female-friends have mentioned stories about guys who thrust themselves upon them for a kiss or to make out and it's a big turnoff. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 yeah I thought it was comon sense not to force yourself upon her. Im just saying that your flirting, your touching, and ur close togather. Just lean in and kiss her. She'll have no problem doging it or slightly moving her face so u hit her cheek instead of her lips. after wards whether it went good or bad you could just say " I guess I couldnt hold back" ... if you think she liked it... or she didnt obvously hate it try to get another... (have u ever kissed girls?) Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 yeah I thought it was comon sense not to force yourself upon her. Im just saying that your flirting, your touching, and ur close togather. Just lean in and kiss her. She'll have no problem doging it or slightly moving her face so u hit her cheek instead of her lips. after wards whether it went good or bad you could just say " I guess I couldnt hold back" ... if you think she liked it... or she didnt obvously hate it try to get another... (have u ever kissed girls?) +1 . Link to post Share on other sites
Lucasarts Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 ok so reading the original post i was gonna ask: ARE YOU BLIND? CAN YOU ONLY HEAR AND NOT SEE WHAT IS GOING ON? AND EVEN HEARING ABOUT WHAT SHE SAYS ONLY MAKES IT THAT MUCH MORE OBVIOUS! (sorry its frustrating to see how easy a girl makes it for a guy to come on to her and kiss her) but someone already beat me to it anyways to keep it short and simple, this girl seems almost OBSESSED by you and wants you to be a part of her life (she talks about you to everyone she knows and loves, i.e.: her family and friends) so as for your question about strengthening this relationship, just ask her out one on one and tell her how much you like her, how pretty she is, how everything she does makes you smile inside, blah blah blah you know and then go for it (cause EVERYONE HERE IS TELLING YOU TO, FOR OBVIOUS REASONS) plant a good one right on her lips and after engaging in a good long kiss, tell her that was the most amazing thing ever and that you cant believe what you had been missing all this time. Sheesh, if you blow this, then have her give me a call lol Link to post Share on other sites
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