pandnh4 Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 i know the obvious answer but there's a little more to this story that makes it interesting and might influence opinions... after telling me last saturday that she wasn't over her ex and didn't want to be in a relationship, we've continued seeing each other although she's extremely fickle... she wanted to come by and cook for me last sunday instead after having our chat, then canceled and said monday, then canceled, then proposed thursday... on xmas day she said she wanted to get drinks then called me late and canceled... finally on wednesday she has me over and cooks which was alright... we cuddled, got playful, and exchanged gifts although she didn't want to open them in front of each other... when i got home that night we talked over the phone and she mentioned that she absolutely loved her gift and wasn't sure she could keep it cause she felt guilty... i told her to keep it and explained why i got her something so nice; it was obvious that i have feelings for her... the next day she asks me when we can get together again for me to cook for her and i propose saturday... no response but later on she asks me if i want to come by for a movie and cuddling... i head over, we agree that we're getting together on saturday, and while i'm there she reminds me how much she loves her gift; we again get playful... finally, she proposes to me a situation of friends with benefits but insists that there can't be any feelings... i'm very hesitant at this point cause i don't know if she's playing games; i can tell that she has some feelings for me and she knows that i have for her... i test her by asking if she wants me to rid myself of any emotions, running the risk of being a smarta$$ and cold, to which she responds with concerns because she might get attached and develop feelings... i tell her to stop complicating things and see what happens; things seem fine... as far as i know the plan is to get together on saturday and see what happens... so today she calls me after work while i'm out for a drink and asks if i can pick her up and give her a ride home cause it's raining... no problem, she's a little bizarre at time but i've come to expect that... when i drop her off i remind her that i'll see her tomorrow and she says maybe... i ask her if she's canceling and she says she'll let me know later tonight... i'm not happy about this but whatever, i leave... still haven't heard back from her but seriously, wtf? i know that in general this is messed up... but i'm curious because of the arrangement we've discussed the previous night; is the fickleness acceptable? not to mention that nothing was even agreed upon last night... everything is really up in the air but then she throws me a curve ball; i haven't reacted yet but need some serious advice on what, if anything, i should say... given the circumstances, you know? Link to post Share on other sites
Krytie TV Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 You're trying to force a square peg in a round hole. You're the one that's gonna be hurt here, not her. Why not listen to her and bail on the relationship? What you want isn't always what people are willing to give. Link to post Share on other sites
jcster Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 You don't have a relationship with this woman. She's playing you and you are letting her. If you have any feelings for her whatsoever, you should stay away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pandnh4 Posted December 28, 2007 Author Share Posted December 28, 2007 i definitely agree that normally this wouldn't be acceptable and would put my foot down... however, if we were to proceed with a friends with benefits arrangement, what are the limits? it's quite obvious to me that she has feelings too... how much, who knows? while i'm open to a non-committed relationship, am i not being realistic here? Link to post Share on other sites
Krytie TV Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 It sounds like you don't really have a grip on the reality of the situation from where I sit. It doesn't look like friends with benefits is an option either or she would at least want to spend time with you. I really think you're fooling yourself here, no offense meant. Link to post Share on other sites
EYECANDY000 Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 It sounds like just like she propsed.. she wants to be in a fwb relationship.. It seems like she has you around just enough because she likes you, but not to often because shes not ready to get serious. I would just back off a little and see where it goes. But it sounds like you are putting to much effort into something that isnt worth it.. Link to post Share on other sites
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