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I should wait to call, right??

SusanChess

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SusanChess

SusanChess

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I've liked this guy for a long time and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way. I made arrangements to call him twice and didn't call him either time. The second time I sent a text asking if it was okay to call the next day at the same time, and then the next day I called 3 hours before that and left a message saying that I'd talk to him this weekend if we were both working.

 

Well, I didn't go to work today. I also don't really need help with what I've been asking him about yet.

 

So, is my best bet to:

 

1) Call him today anyway and make something up

 

2) Call him later this week w/a question or two

 

3) Wait until next weekend when I can stop by his office and we can go over anything I need in detail, and we can chat about other stuff too.

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Heavenly55

Heavenly55

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Why are you asking him if it's ok to call? So you called and left a message. I'm sure he got it. If he didn't return the call I wouldn't call him again.

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Trialbyfire

Trialbyfire

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Why are you asking him if it's ok to call? So you called and left a message. I'm sure he got it. If he didn't return the call I wouldn't call him again.

Werd......

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SusanChess

SusanChess

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Why are you asking him if it's ok to call? So you called and left a message. I'm sure he got it. If he didn't return the call I wouldn't call him again.

 

I think I wasn't clear. I was asking in the vm if that was a good time for him, not if it was okay if I called at all.

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SusanChess

SusanChess

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Why are you asking him if it's ok to call? So you called and left a message. I'm sure he got it. If he didn't return the call I wouldn't call him again.

 

Sorry, I should have said "I was asking in the text if that was a good time for him, not if it was okay if I called at all." I also didn't ask him to call me back in the vm, but told him instead when he should expect to hear from me again. I guess I'm not understanding why under those circumstances I should have been expecting a return phone call.

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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Sorry, I should have said "I was asking in the text if that was a good time for him, not if it was okay if I called at all." I also didn't ask him to call me back in the vm, but told him instead when he should expect to hear from me again. I guess I'm not understanding why under those circumstances I should have been expecting a return phone call.

 

Aren't you answering your own question then? If you told him that he should expect to hear from you again on/at X, then you need to follow through and actually call him again on/at X.

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SusanChess

SusanChess

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Well crap. At the same time I think that having the flu is a good enough excuse not to be at work or call (right? Tell me if I'm wrong though.) So, I guess I should wait until next weekend?

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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Well crap. At the same time I think that having the flu is a good enough excuse not to be at work or call (right? Tell me if I'm wrong though.) So, I guess I should wait until next weekend?

 

NO. If you called him and said you'd call - for example, tomorrow at 5 p.m. - you sure as hell better call tomorrow at 5 p.m. You've flaked on this guy twice already. You'll be lucky to receive a positive response at all at this point, even assuming you do call tomorrow at 5 p.m.

 

Also, don't lie to us. Your previous threads about this very same subject belie the fact that you were not sick. You didn't call because you just didn't call...you were afraid, you were busy, every reason in the world other than a legitimate one.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t136195/

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t136749/

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SusanChess

SusanChess

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Sigh, this is exactly why I shouldn't have started this thread while I have a fever.

 

I wasn't at work today because I'm sick (and I have a thermometer reading and half a box of used kleenex to prove it) . . . so, when I say "At the same time I think that having the flu is a good enough excuse not to be at work or call" I mean that hopefully he'll understand why I didn't call today.

 

I didn't call the first two times because I was I was nervous plus I had been so busy that I hadn't had time to do the background work to know what I actually had questions on (let me know if that doesn't make sense.) The second time I was so nervous I even felt sick . . . although I'm sure that was just nerves.

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Krytie TV

Krytie TV

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In my opinion, he's probably pretty desperate if he is receptive to your efforts at this point. I think most people with any positive sense of self-value would just hope you go away.

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SusanChess

SusanChess

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In my opinion, he's probably pretty desperate if he is receptive to your efforts at this point. I think most people with any positive sense of self-value would just hope you go away.

 

So my old boss was right and everyone really would be better off without me after all. I guess I should have listened to him back then instead of believing against my better judgment that this guy could have a thing for me. I would have thought that after knowing someone for seven years that a couple of missed phone calls wouldn't be a huge deal, but I guess that just shows how stupid and useless I am. At least I know that now, thanks for your help.

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Krytie TV

Krytie TV

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So my old boss was right and everyone really would be better off without me after all. I guess I should have listened to him back then instead of believing against my better judgment that this guy could have a thing for me. I would have thought that after knowing someone for seven years that a couple of missed phone calls wouldn't be a huge deal, but I guess that just shows how stupid and useless I am. At least I know that now, thanks for your help.

 

The "victim" approach isn't very attractive or useful. We all make choices in our lives, and in doing so, suffer the consequences. You chose to flake on this guy multiple times. Now he has a decision to make. That's life.

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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So my old boss was right and everyone really would be better off without me after all. I guess I should have listened to him back then instead of believing against my better judgment that this guy could have a thing for me. I would have thought that after knowing someone for seven years that a couple of missed phone calls wouldn't be a huge deal, but I guess that just shows how stupid and useless I am. At least I know that now, thanks for your help.

 

Oh stop it. You don't believe that, and we all know it. It's transparent. Your martyr act is a little tiring.

 

The point is that even if this guy HAD (note the past tense here) a thing for you, your behavior in flaking two times would justify his decision (if he makes one) not to be receptive to your half-assed attempts at making contact regarding a project. Regardless of how long you know someone, and regardless of whether or not they like you, you cannot take advantage of those factors to act inconsiderately.

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SusanChess

SusanChess

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I'm sorry to have bothered you all. I just called and left him a vm on his office line saying he doesn't have to worry about hearing from me again. It really was stupid of me to think that he could be attracted to me, after all he's attracted to thin pretty girls. I was thinking for a while that maybe I was wrong about how people perceived me and reacted to me, but I was really making a fool out of myself. All I can do is make sure this doesn't happen a third time so I don't end up making some other guy uncomfortable.

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SusanChess

SusanChess

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Now I'm really confused. Didn't you just say that I shouldn't have been using the project as an excuse to contact him in the first place? You were right about that, it was just an excuse and a pretty pathetic one at that.

 

Or were you being sarcastic?

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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Yes, I said to stop using sickness as an excuse...because it had nothing to do with your reason for not calling him to begin with.

 

If you didn't understand my point, I'm not sure what to say to you. As I said, and as Krytie said, seeing as you flaked on his twice already, if there was going to be any chance at all, you had to make good on your word - the VM that you left him telling him when he could expect to hear from you again.

 

In no way, shape, or form, did anyone here suggest that you should contact him and say that he "doesn't have to worry about hearing from you again." Nor did anyone here say you were foolish for thinking he was attracted to you. All we were saying was - in response to your original questions about whether to contact him - you better follow through because most people wouldn't tolerate such flakiness, not even from the most gorgeous people in the world.

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SusanChess

SusanChess

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:o

 

I'll leave a "disregard" message first thing in the morning on his office vm. I don't think I'll be leaving any more messages tonight, that's for sure. I guess the "don't drink and dial" thing also applies to 101 degree fevers.

 

As it is, I'm taking some Nyquil and going to bed. Thanks for putting up with me tonight, I really do appreciate it.

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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:o

 

I'll leave a "disregard" message first thing in the morning on his office vm.

 

NOOOOOOOOOO! No more messages!!!! Just leave it be!!!

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Racquel Colette

Racquel Colette

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You shouldn't have called him in the first place. If he were interested, he would have called. Now you are just desperate for calling him, and calling him again and calling him again to ask when it is OK to call. So take this as a learning experience.

Next time, don't call him. Remember, he knows you exist. If he wants to date you, he will call you. Wild horses couldn't stop him.

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Krytie TV

Krytie TV

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I just called and left him a vm on his office line saying he doesn't have to worry about hearing from me again.

 

Hmm... there's a strategy I would have never considered. Fascinating really. I'm curious how this plays out.

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Leia

Leia

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Hmm... there's a strategy I would have never considered. Fascinating really. I'm curious how this plays out.

 

This thread made me laugh. I'm sorry I find this funny.

 

I really don't understand how you could have not called him when you said you would. I have never flaked on anyone and I don't plan to because it really shows what type of a person I am.

 

You didn't call him when you said you would and then you left a VM stating that he didn't have to worry about hearing from you again... I think by now, he knows well enough not to associate himself with you.

 

Again, it is so simple - when you make a promise, stick to it. Being sick should have stopped you! Even if you were to call him with your mucus running down your nose, he would think highly of you for following through with your word.

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