Mentality of a 40ish going after 20ish women?

[Blue Eyed Brain]

I work with a lot of never been married, 40ish guys that are constantly talking a bout any 20 something that walks by at the cleaners, restaurant, bartender, etc.

 

What is the mentality of a man trying to go for a woman whom is 15 to 20 years younger?

[kentishmaiden]

Do these men actually get the young girls?

 

Would you actually want to be with somebody so shallow anyway?

 

That's why they are unable to have one as their own because they are unable to commit to a woman of their own age that would put up with them and perhaps these 20 year olds fall for their chat up lines.

 

They all sound like a bunch of tosspots you work with and I don't mind if you tell them I said so lol.

 

I personally think people like that are immature, insecure and all puffed up and full of hot air!

[Curmudgeon]

What is the mentality of a man trying to go for a woman whom is 15 to 20 years younger?

 

...there's a huge difference between looking at, admiring, lusting after and fantasizing about "sweet young things" and actually acting upon those urges. I dare say that in most cases, the latter doesn't happen. However, I will certainly acknowledge that many would be tempted if any reciprocal interest was shown.

 

Speaking of which, how is the 40-something lusting after a 20-something any different than the 20-something wanting the 40-something?

 

Now then, as to the mentality of a man wanting a woman 15-20 years younger than himself, eyebrows were raised when I, at 23, married the ex who was 18 yet there were only five years between us. I'm now 61 and I doubt that anyone would bat an eye if I took up company with a 46 year old woman.

 

It's all kind of relative, isn't it?

[Blue Eyed Brain]

...there's a huge difference between looking at, admiring, lusting after and fantasizing about "sweet young things" and actually acting upon those urges.

 

It's all kind of relative, isn't it?

 

 

That's just it.... they never "go after it." Or at least in front of me.... they just talk, talk, talk and drool.

 

But are they kidding themselves. These guys come into work, looking awful like they haven't had a good woman in a long, long time (raddie, buttons missing, clothes don't fit properly).

 

Maybe if they weren't fantasying and dreaming so much about what they may not have had in their younger years, they would be happier? I look at them and feel sad for them.

[Curmudgeon]

Maybe if they weren't fantasying and dreaming so much about what they may not have had in their younger years, they would be happier? I look at them and feel sad for them.

 

 

Sounds as if they could use some sprucing up.

 

I guess I'm blessed by having an innate sense of style and my wardrobe reflects it. I dress very professionally (have to because of my career) and tastefully yet colorfully with an element of fun when appropriate. I think that's one of the reasons people are surprised to learn that I'm in my 60s. Most, women especially, assume I'm in my very early 50s, which I suppose could be adventageous if I was on the prowl.

 

I think it also has to do with attitude. I have a good sense of humor and at least appear to not take things real seriously. I can find humor in almost everything. Perhaps that's seen as a somewhat more "youthful" approach to life and belies my age and position.

 

Maybe you should take these "old" fuddy-duddies in hand and help them clean up their acts. You'd be doing them a kindness.

[CD111]

haha, call them out on it. The look on their faces would be priceless. I would contemplate it, but it would depend on what kind of professional relationship I had with those guys. As in, could they handle it or would they get really pissed and make life harder for you at work.

[Tony T]

I work with a lot of never been married, 40ish guys that are constantly talking a bout any 20 something that walks by at the cleaners, restaurant, bartender, etc.

 

What is the mentality of a man trying to go for a woman whom is 15 to 20 years younger?

 

The great majority of older men admire the beauty of younger women. It's a very normal thing and actually has roots in ancient man who sought out young, healthy females with which to mate. Their mentality is no different from any other person. Perhaps they have absolutely nothing better to talk about. Given all my choices, I'd probably rather talk about a beautiful, young woman than anything. Of course, after a minute or two I'd either have to talk about another one or go back to discussing football.

[Lizzie60]

I wouldn't bother with those losers... let them dream and drool...

 

If it really gets on your nerves... tell them they can drool and fantasize all they want when you're not around...

 

and if they say 'you're only jealous' say 'not at all, because you know that it will never happen, because old farts don't get young chicks'

[CD111]

Ok now seriously, it's a proven fact physical attraction is very important to men and young women, in general, through their physical attributes. Are more appealing then older women biologically. Men are attracted to younger women because they look young, healthy, have good figures and have energy. A.K.A. those are all signs of fertility and biologically men want to mate with the best possible partner for the species to survive. Realistically, most relationships between those women and men would probably fail due to where each person is in their lives; however, that doesn't stop the men from fantasizing about getting with the young girls. Who knows maybe it's a manly thing, like just because one guy started to talk about the young girls now all have to otherwise they would look...oh gosh..old. Like they physically wouldn't be able to meet the needs of a young women in bed. I am not a guy, that's just my opinion.

[Curmudgeon]

Ok now seriously, it's a proven fact physical attraction is very important to men and young women, in general, through their physical attributes. Are more appealing then older women biologically. Men are attracted to younger women because they look young, healthy, have good figures and have energy. A.K.A. those are all signs of fertility and biologically men want to mate with the best possible partner for the species to survive. Realistically, most relationships between those women and men would probably fail due to where each person is in their lives; however, that doesn't stop the men from fantasizing about getting with the young girls. Who knows maybe it's a manly thing, like just because one guy started to talk about the young girls now all have to otherwise they would look...oh gosh..old. Like they physically wouldn't be able to meet the needs of a young women in bed. I am not a guy, that's just my opinion.

 

And that's on several levels. First of all, nothing scares me more than a woman of child-bearing years. Fertility and the ability to conceive are like a cold shower. With five children, two stepchildren and seven grandchildren, and another on the way, procreation is NOT an option.

 

Secondly, your ageist supposition that we seasoned men cannot meet the "needs" of a much younger woman is spurious. In many instances we can trump youth with experience, haste with patience and speed with staying power.

 

As always, just one man's opinion!

[melodymatters]

While I know it's natural to look at attractive beings, male or female. I do find it a little....pathetic when 40 yr old men VERBALIZE it like frat boys.

 

I know men in their 40's and 50's who date ver young pretty girls, and those are the guys I wouldn't want to date ANYWAYS because their priorities are all messed up. They don't look at their partner as a best friend, but a pretty toy.

 

So, it all seems to work itself out !

[Trialbyfire]

procreation is NOT an option

 

 

While I know it's natural to look at attractive beings, male or female. I do find it a little....pathetic when 40 yr old men VERBALIZE it like frat boys.

 

I know men in their 40's and 50's who date ver young pretty girls, and those are the guys I wouldn't want to date ANYWAYS because their priorities are all messed up. They don't look at their partner as a best friend, but a pretty toy.

 

So, it all seems to work itself out !

Haha...so true.

[CD111]

I was making a general statement, by no means saying that every middle aged man on the planet wants to have a relationship with younger women. I was emphasizing physical and biological attraction. This doesn't mean that all men follow through with this attraction and leave their middle aged wives to chase the young ones around. About the last remark. Again I didn't say all men, I said some, so please don't be offended. I am sure there are many middle aged men that could handle a sexual relationship with a younger women.

[Lizzie60]

I was making a general statement, by no means saying that every middle aged man on the planet wants to have a relationship with younger women. I was emphasizing physical and biological attraction. This doesn't mean that all men follow through with this attraction and leave their middle aged wives to chase the young ones around. About the last remark. Again I didn't say all men, I said some, so please don't be offended. I am sure there are many middle aged men that could handle a sexual relationship with a younger women.

 

Speaking from experience, men over 55 can hardly hold their hard-on long enough for the young one to be satisfied or even long enough for them to be satisfied...

[CD111]

If there wasn't any truth in my statement then why do we have women of all ages trying to maintain the youthfulness they had in their 20's and 30's and men buying the scores of monthly publications that advertise scantly clad women in their 20's and 30's. If men just weren't attracted to that then the magazines wouldn't exist at all. By no means am I blaming men, for our society's obsession with being, looking and acting young. The way I see it some people just have it and some people just don't.

[melodymatters]

If there wasn't any truth in my statement then why do we have women of all ages trying to maintain the youthfulness they had in their 20's and 30's and men buying the scores of monthly publications that advertise scantly clad women in their 20's and 30's. If men just weren't attracted to that then the magazines wouldn't exist at all. By no means am I blaming men, for our society's obsession with being, looking and acting young. The way I see it some people just have it and some people just don't.

 

 

I don't think ANYONE is disagreeing with you. Just saying that the display of such preferences is a bit juvenile and sad. I Find a bunch of screaming chicks at a male strip event just as distateful.

[Trialbyfire]

I think I have issues with much older men or women targeting anyone under the age of 26. I guess I see it as predatory behaviour, since most (not all) younger people, aren't sufficiently emotionally developed or experienced enough to handle someone who has a lot more experience. Once you hit that magical maturity level of 26, you're fair game for anyone. Of course there will always be exceptions to the rule, aka a mature 21 year-old or an immature 27/40 year-old.

 

Once more, age in life v. stage in life.

[CD111]

On one hand it's sad, on the other that's just the way it is. There are plenty of men out there in their 40's and 50's that are still highly attractive to younger women, I mean look at the age of most leading men in Hollywood. Those guys are very very attractive and women of all ages would be all about a date with any of them.

[CD111]

Also you gotta remember, women are also biologically programed to be attracted to slightly older men. Women, mature faster then men, middle aged men provide stability and experience that younger men don't have. Biologically it's the survival of the fittest.

[Curmudgeon]

I know what you meant and certainly take no umbrage because I KNOW you weren't including me!

[Curmudgeon]

Speaking from experience, men over 55 can hardly hold their hard-on long enough for the young one to be satisfied or even long enough for them to be satisfied...

 

...attract some feeble men if that's the case. Perhaps there's something in the water up there in the frozen north that shouldn't be.

 

Out of deference to your "experience" I'll forbear any mention of the obvious superiority of manhood here in the colonies!

[Curmudgeon]

...middle aged men provide stability and experience that younger men don't have.

 

...is about where I am now anymore. It's no longer in the 40s. Them's mere lads and have a lot to learn!

[amerikajin]

I think I have issues with much older men or women targeting anyone under the age of 26. I guess I see it as predatory behaviour, since most (not all) younger people, aren't sufficiently emotionally developed or experienced enough to handle someone who has a lot more experience. Once you hit that magical maturity level of 26, you're fair game for anyone. Of course there will always be exceptions to the rule, aka a mature 21 year-old or an immature 27/40 year-old.

 

Once more, age in life v. stage in life.

 

I think it's safe to say that the greater the age gap, the greater the difference between life experience, and less chance there is of compatibility. I ended up going out with a girl who's 11 years younger (the first time it was an accident -didn't realize she was 22). The second time...I guess I just had a good time and wanted to see what would happen if we kept it up. But in the end, I don't sense there's anything there. It just feels weird, and I think the feelings are mutual. I don't feel pathetic, but I probably would if I kept dating her. I think that the "pathetic" part comes from dating someone you know you don't have anything in common with, regardless of age. It's just that, in some cases, age has a lot to do with commonality.

[Trialbyfire]

I think it's safe to say that the greater the age gap, the greater the difference between life experience, and less chance there is of compatibility. I ended up going out with a girl who's 11 years younger (the first time it was an accident -didn't realize she was 22). The second time...I guess I just had a good time and wanted to see what would happen if we kept it up. But in the end, I don't sense there's anything there. It just feels weird, and I think the feelings are mutual. I don't feel pathetic, but I probably would if I kept dating her. I think that the "pathetic" part comes from dating someone you know you don't have anything in common with, regardless of age. It's just that, in some cases, age has a lot to do with commonality.

I agree with this a lot.

 

While I have personally dated men up to the age of 10 years older, the most successful gap appeared to be around 5 years older. I've always been told that I come across as being older than I am, so it makes sense for me to date older. I sometimes wonder if I was born into the wrong generation.

[Blue Eyed Brain]

I prefer men to be 3-6 years younger than me. Older guys (nearing 40), to me, are boring (sports or work), no other interests. I'm a big music fan and I have more in common with younger guys than the older ones. I like the classics (classical, opera, standards), but how many more times can I hear a Led Zepplin song played over and over again.... Ugh!