golfer99 Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 I hadn't talked to this girl for about a month. She had told me she wanted to be "friends, I guess". She started to call me again, wanting to hang out and sent me a text message with a pic of her blowing a kiss at the camera" We hung out for 3 weekends in a row. Once alone and two times with her friend. She often calls me drunk. She turned 21 and I only hear from her twice in 3 weeks. End of september we start hanging out again. I asked if she had changed her mind what she wanted from me and she said "She doesn't want a boyfriend right now but will hang out with guys because she likes the attention." I quit asking to hang out but she or her friend would ask me to goto the bar or parties with them on the weekends. Some of her friends start to tell me that I am all she talks about and I should date her. The others say she doesn't know what she wants. One time I was sitting on the couch she put her head on my chest and said she was going to cuddle up by me beacause I was there then went to sleep. I made the comment that I sure know how to make her fall asleep. She called her self an attention whore. I can pretty much touch her however i want she doesn't object. I haven't tried to kiss her or have sex with her. Last week she found out I was asking if one of her friends was single. She called me 3 times on friday, once on saturday and asked me to goto the bar with her, and once on sunday. this week she called me thursday, wanted to know if i was going to work, and didn't call me until sunday. The other girl I was asking about "asked her if we were best friends" she was silent for about 20 seconds the quietly said yes She was pretty much calling me all the time and asking me to do things up until her birthday. Then her and her friend started going to bars all the time. Here is my question do you think she really wants any type of relationship from me or just wants to keep me around as the backup plan? Or does want a relationship but wants me to wait around until she has tired of the bar scene? The friend who told her I was asking about other girls says that she likes me but is young and new to the bars and likes all the attention she gets. Link to post Share on other sites
Davey McG Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 I think, from reading what you've written and from personal experience, that you are the backup. She's trying to keep you on a leash in case she doesn't find what she is looking for. I would really stop hanging around with her. I know that you are 'friends' but a real friend wouldn't give you false hope, which is exactly what she is doing. Pull away, I really think it will be better for you in the long run. Otherwise, she could end up leading you on and stopping your from persuing better opportunities. Stop being 'friends' with her, its not productive - you want a girlfriend and she wants a backup, neither of you are being entirely honest about the friendship Link to post Share on other sites
Author golfer99 Posted November 19, 2007 Author Share Posted November 19, 2007 So would I be better off telling her that we need to go seperate ways if this isn't going anywhere, so I can focus on other girls. Or should I just slowly withdraw myself by not calling her and when she calls me be busy and keep it short. Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 Sorry Golfer, but she is using you for the attention and as a filler until something (to her) more exciting comes her way. She is not thinking of anyone (you) but herself. I would let her know that you have plans the next time she calls and get out there and ask someone out. I would not consider her a friend. Friends don't use them for attention support and friends give you something in return..... what has she given you (except maybe false hope)? Let her go. It doesn't matter what you tell her, she won't be listening anyway..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author golfer99 Posted November 20, 2007 Author Share Posted November 20, 2007 She knows what I want from her. I guess I just need to think back to July when she was seeing a guy. I didn't call her, she didn't call me, we never ran into each other. I was actually happy without her around. I guess I have been pretty stupid to let her come back and lead me on again after he screwed her over. Link to post Share on other sites
birdie Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 either make your move or don't make your move. you've been hanging around her long enough but not initiating anything except talking as far as I can see. she could equally claim that you have been leading her on as well. if you don't feel confident enough to go for it and kiss her then look for someone else. clearly you don't want to be her friend Link to post Share on other sites
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