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MEN, what do you think? WOMEN, would/have you done this?


PrincessBOT

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I got tired of seeing men I want to talk to but we passed each other in the hussle and bussle of going or coming from wherever. It doesn't happen a lot, but yesterday I saw him and couldn't tear my eyes away. When I did I looked back, but whipped my head back.

 

Well I took a few minutes and went back to where I saw him, he turned out to be a personal trainer at a gym. I asked the front desk attendant, who I also didn't know about him. She said she thinks he was single or had just got out and she offered to go get him.

 

I told him how I've never done this,but I was attracted to him and he said he was very flattered but his divorce had just become final. He also said he'd just started seeing someone very recently and then said he was very flattered again and shook my hand.

 

Well once he said he had just signed his divorce papers I was not attracted anymore and was glad I wasn't the female he'd just started seeing. I'd been that female before and no good can come from a recently divorced man relationship wise, he needs time.

 

But what do you think, was it desperate? I didn't feel desparate I felt excited and I also felt proud of myself. However, on the grand scheme of things, is there such a shortage in men that the women such as myself are forced to reverse the natural order of things?

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I got tired of seeing men I want to talk to but we passed each other in the hussle and bussle of going or coming from wherever. It doesn't happen a lot, but yesterday I saw him and couldn't tear my eyes away. When I did I looked back, but whipped my head back.

 

Well I took a few minutes and went back to where I saw him, he turned out to be a personal trainer at a gym. I asked the front desk attendant, who I also didn't know about him. She said she thinks he was single or had just got out and she offered to go get him.

 

I told him how I've never done this,but I was attracted to him and he said he was very flattered but his divorce had just become final. He also said he'd just started seeing someone very recently and then said he was very flattered again and shook my hand.

 

Well once he said he had just signed his divorce papers I was not attracted anymore and was glad I wasn't the female he'd just started seeing. I'd been that female before and no good can come from a recently divorced man relationship wise, he needs time.

 

But what do you think, was it desperate? I didn't feel desparate I felt excited and I also felt proud of myself. However, on the grand scheme of things, is there such a shortage in men that the women such as myself are forced to reverse the natural order of things?

 

Natural order of things... it was never 'natural' it was just set up like that for ages... it always been a 'man's world' but this is slowly changing.. thanks to women like you and I who have no problem taking control... ;)

 

I applaud you for what you did...

 

It's not more of the guys' business to go up to a woman first... says who?

 

It is not desparate at all... if the guy is interested.. he will get back to you... now that you've done the first steps, do NOT contact him anymore, the ball is in HIS court (otherwise you would look desparate)...

 

If this has never happened to him before.. it will stay on his mind for a while... who knows? but don't wait for him.. move on... and go look for another cute guy... ;)

 

Good luck!

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But what do you think, was it desperate? I didn't feel desparate I felt excited and I also felt proud of myself.

Is this an act of desperation or one of asserting yourself? From the sounds of it, you believe it's the latter.

However, on the grand scheme of things, is there such a shortage in men that the women such as myself are forced to reverse the natural order of things?

There's no shortage of men. You are also never forced to do anything beyond support yourself by working. Accept that it's your choice and do whatever feels natural to you.

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brothermartin

Its not considered desperate when we (men) do it. Thats an old double standard that I hope to live long enough to see end. And I hope the women that read this post get the courage to do the same thing you did someday.

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Most men would love if more women would take the initiative but sadly this is one area where women seem to want to live in the past.

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Thanks for the feedback. I have to say that it really seems like men are open to this and I guess women are still not fully on board yet, but that is changing. This is good, especially if it is not coming off as desperate.

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I would LOVE it if a girl took the initiative on meeting me - Frankly, I'm tired of girls not being very upfront about their feelings - It's always so difficult to read you people! :p

 

So yeah, I encourage what your doing. I'm sure most guys would prefer a girl to take initiative and let us know right away if your interested in us / not.

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You did just fine. You saw something you wanted, and you went after it. He wasn't available due to no fault of your own, and you realized you were better off in the long run. Better to take the shot then kick yourself for not having the confidence to step up to the plate. And hey, you never know what could happen with him down the line. Sure, things might be a bit awkward for a little while when you see him at the gym, but that will pass over time.

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You did just fine. You saw something you wanted, and you went after it. He wasn't available due to no fault of your own, and you realized you were better off in the long run. Better to take the shot then kick yourself for not having the confidence to step up to the plate. And hey, you never know what could happen with him down the line. Sure, things might be a bit awkward for a little while when you see him at the gym, but that will pass over time.

 

Good thing I don't belong to the gym so it won't have to be awkward. The gym is on the lower level of the huge office complex I work in. I didn't know he worked at the gym until I went back and saw him through the glass window, he was standing outside the talking to other guys when I first saw him. I saw through the window the back of his shirt read "Personal Trainer" and all the other personal trainers had the same.

 

And yes I feel much better than if I would have been wondering about him, which has happened in the past. It is not a good feeling to realize that I was attracted to someone and we didn't have the opportunity to meet.

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From a guy's perspective, if I was in his shoes, I would have been flattered and gotten an ego boost by the compliment, and been more aware of the woman any time I saw her in the future, but in a good way. I would appreciate her confidence as well as the attention she gave me and I wouldn't see anything wrong with it. I probably would have shared the incident with a friend. "Hey, guess what, a woman actually asked me out today! Too bad I just got started with this other woman..." Or something like that.

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Blue Eyed Brain

No, not desperate. I'm glad you went for what you "thought" you wanted. Just because the outcome wasn't winning the lotto, doesn't mean that it wasn't successful. I just wish more people would have the "courage to be happy."

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So which forum gave you the best response to your thread, LS or enotalone?

 

***(((smile)))****

 

It would be like making a mother chose between her children. She couldn't.

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