spookie Posted October 30, 2007 Share Posted October 30, 2007 I like things split 50/50. In my mind there's no justification for it being any other way nowadays. Women have their rights, their freedoms, their ability to work in any profession they choose and be compensated accordingly, and I believe in accepting the upside with the downside - the downside being the end of chivalry. But anyway, it's awkward to go into this spiel every time I am out with someone and he is insisting on buying me dinner. I dread going on dates for this reason... I know there is always an argument to look forward to, and, especially if we are with other people, it can get embarrassing. Here's 8 bucks for my food, No I got it, No I insist, No really, What's your rationalization behind men having to pay? etc. Any tips on how to shorten that convo to something less argumentative that will allow me to pay my way and thus not feel indebted and him not to feel emasculated? What does everything think about this? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 30, 2007 Share Posted October 30, 2007 You might want to mention going dutch when you make the date.. before you actually go on the date.. that way when you go to pay they "let go" of the macho buying the date dinner stuff... I personally have always bought the dinners of the women I had dated when single.. I never once made a woman feel like it was an obligation deal later.. it was just dinner after all.. Like I said.. maybe mentioning to him first that dinner is dutch before the date.. then when you ask to pay it won't kill his ego... Link to post Share on other sites
birdie Posted October 30, 2007 Share Posted October 30, 2007 if any guy feels emasculated about your paying your way he will have plenty of issues later. I always pay my share at least in the beginning, when I am serious with someone then of course the rules are not so strict, sometimes he pays, sometimes I do. just make sure you have enough cash with you so you can leave it on the table and don't have to fiddle with credit cards. that tends to work Link to post Share on other sites
Author spookie Posted October 30, 2007 Author Share Posted October 30, 2007 You might want to mention going dutch when you make the date.. before you actually go on the date.. that way when you go to pay they "let go" of the macho buying the date dinner stuff... I personally have always bought the dinners of the women I had dated when single.. I never once made a woman feel like it was an obligation deal later.. it was just dinner after all.. Like I said.. maybe mentioning to him first that dinner is dutch before the date.. then when you ask to pay it won't kill his ego... Hm. Well the guy I am going out with tomorrow I've only met once before, at a party, and I think it would be uncomfortable to bring all this into it before we even get a chance to hang out sober 1 on 1. But thanks for the good tip for later. Link to post Share on other sites
popey Posted October 30, 2007 Share Posted October 30, 2007 you don't have to split every bill to be equal. If you asked him out, attempt to pay. If he asked you, offer to split. If he insists on paying, what's the big deal if you let him, and insist on paying the next time? Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted October 30, 2007 Share Posted October 30, 2007 Hm. Well the guy I am going out with tomorrow I've only met once before, at a party, and I think it would be uncomfortable to bring all this into it before we even get a chance to hang out sober 1 on 1. But thanks for the good tip for later. Well, what is wrong with just letting him pay for the first date? Offer to pay, if he says that he'll pay just say thank you and pay the next time for both of you when you go out. I don't think that you should always just pay for your own stuff no matter what happens. I mean, you gotta let people treat you to things once in awhile! Link to post Share on other sites
bigheartkindsoul Posted October 30, 2007 Share Posted October 30, 2007 On the first meeting usually drinks ocassionally dinner, I tend to offer to pay, some take me up on it others do not. If on first meeting dinner is involved I will be a little more insistant but again if won't accept I am not gonna start an arguement about it, so then I will just offer to buy a round of drinks or two after dinner. The way I see it, I earn my own money so I can pay my way or some of the way, if we start "dating" more then sure we can take it in turns etc. I am just not one to take someone for a ride on a first meeting that might not work out or go any further after the initial getting to know you date, this is different because then they and you are investing in a potential future together. Hope that makes sense and doesn't sound like a load of awful waffle!! lol Link to post Share on other sites
jcster Posted October 30, 2007 Share Posted October 30, 2007 I think whoever invites the other should pay, at least for the first meeting. After that, dutch is fine. Link to post Share on other sites
ahah2322 Posted October 30, 2007 Share Posted October 30, 2007 i like men paying cos it makes me feel like a princess! and i love it! after a long courtship with my bf, it hurts me a little to see him paying all the time so i pay my fair share too. it's okay cos we're both pretty well-to-do. i think men should pay like 60% of the time tho. just my sentiments. Link to post Share on other sites
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