What do I do to make finding and trying to meet women less painful and hateful?

[Lights]

I could use help on this. How's it done?

 

I am trying not to become even more angry and bitter. I really am...but nothing changes either way!

[Timberlane]

Man, you need to lighten up, bro. To do that you should probably NOT TRY to meet women for a while and instead really get into things you enjoy outside of that. When you get your head straight, you'll find meeting women will come randomly and easily. Just get out to parties, activities, etc. I must have met three or four nice women this month alone without even trying. But then, I have a good attitude these days, and that helps you start the conversations.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

I could use help on this. How's it done?

 

I am trying not to become even more angry and bitter. I really am...but nothing changes either way!

 

What are your expectations from the women you meet? How do you want them to be?

[lino]

Hi Lights, I remember you from when I first joined this forum

What have you tried so far that has failed?

Timberlane's advice is good.

Do you ever see any girls you're interested in on a regular basis? Maybe you could try getting to know them.

Also if you feel pain/stress from rejection, etc you really need something to do that lets you relax & take your mind away from it.

[Timberlane]

I can remember spans of time where it was nothing but blank stares, annoyed looks, and other kinds of rejection at parties, gatherings, you name it. Later I would have periods where I would meet and attract maybe three women in the span of a month. Very random! It certainly helps to ignore those down times by doing something else, and going somewhere else for that matter. Sometimes you are just in the wrong audience.

[Lights]

Man, you need to lighten up, bro. To do that you should probably NOT TRY to meet women for a while and instead really get into things you enjoy outside of that. When you get your head straight, you'll find meeting women will come randomly and easily. Just get out to parties, activities, etc. I must have met three or four nice women this month alone without even trying. But then, I have a good attitude these days, and that helps you start the conversations.

 

Well, I've actually taken that tactic for a couple years in the past. It certainly worked for accomplishing other things, but it really hadn't changed the matter with women. (More specifically, I had been angry with the social scenes in general and not just women, so I left them entirely for a couple years, spending my nights doing things I enjoyed.) It's great for accomplishing things alone or to have some fun doing things that don't lend themselves to socializing, but I didn't have an improved social experience with women upon my return.

 

What are your expectations from the women you meet? How do you want them to be?

 

Well, it'd be a lot less painful if more than a tiny few were actually friendly at all. Beyond that, it's tough for me to say.

 

Hi Lights, I remember you from when I first joined this forum

What have you tried so far that has failed?

Timberlane's advice is good.

Do you ever see any girls you're interested in on a regular basis? Maybe you could try getting to know them.

Also if you feel pain/stress from rejection, etc you really need something to do that lets you relax & take your mind away from it.

Hi Lino, it's good to hear from you too.

Well, there aren't any of interest that I see on a regular basis. The only people in general that I can rely on seeing at the same time are those at work; the rest is much more chaotic (my schedule can be irregular, so who I see or don't see at places I might spend free time in can vary wildly).

Yeah, that's mainly what I do. Sometimes it gets to the point where it poisons me during other parts of my days, though. I do what I can.

 

I can remember spans of time where it was nothing but blank stares, annoyed looks, and other kinds of rejection at parties, gatherings, you name it. Later I would have periods where I would meet and attract maybe three women in the span of a month. Very random! It certainly helps to ignore those down times by doing something else, and going somewhere else for that matter. Sometimes you are just in the wrong audience.

 

That's certainly true.

 

Thanks all.

[Kamille]

Lights I really wish there was a way we could help.

 

It's funny, I ran into a friend of mine who has a hard time with women too, at a party the other day and we landed on a conversation about the topic.

 

These might not apply to you at all, but here is what I told him:

 

1) it is not women's fault that he is single (he kind of resents women for it, and believe me, it shows in his approach which is a bit defensive).

2) stop trying to impress women all the time and approach them as he would any of your friends

3) improve the way he dresses.

4) smile more. women are not an ennemy to be conquered. every woman is unique - just like every man is unique.

5) women find dating as complicated as men (he somehow thinks that pretty girls have an easy time of it and grants them too much power. He feels powerless around women that he likes).

 

Or you could try the Secret way. (you know that Oprah philosophy). Just imagine that you do have a girlfriend who loves you and treats you right. The philosophy goes something like: therefore you will be more relax and happier and it will happen.