RyTom21 Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 I have never thought of myself as a good looking guy, and I always thought that would hurt my chances with women. And yet, I've seen tons of average and below average guys with stunningly beautiful women. So, here's my question. Someone once said this to me. Do you agree with it or not? "When it comes to dating beautiful women...You dont have to be the best looking guy around, you just have to act like you think you are" In other words, if an average looking guy walks around with the confidence that a gorgeous guy would have, will that improve his chances with a beautiful woman? If you feel that you need to know what I look like in order to be able to answer this question, here are some links. In the first link, i'm the guy on the left. http://s211.photobucket.com/albums/bb208/ryantkvids/?action=view¤t=3.jpg http://s211.photobucket.com/albums/bb208/ryantkvids/?action=view¤t=2.jpg http://s211.photobucket.com/albums/bb208/ryantkvids/?action=view¤t=1.jpg http://s211.photobucket.com/albums/bb208/ryantkvids/?action=view¤t=Random71.jpg http://s211.photobucket.com/albums/bb208/ryantkvids/?action=view¤t=Random35.jpg Link to post Share on other sites
maynard Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 personality does a lot bud. im not a girl, so i cant comment on your looks Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 you have nice eyes, but i think you'd look a lot better if you lost some weight and dyed your hair dark, closer to your natural color. Also some accutane/proactiv for your skin. See a derm and they can give you a prescription. One other thing I noticed is it looks like you may have a skeletal bite problem...a vertically long lower jaw is often a telltale sign of this. Something looks off about your smile that I can't place. You might consider seeing a maxillofacial surgeon. They can take a ceph of your face and see if there are any skeletal abnormalities. If there are, orthognathic surgery to correct your bite would bring your face into better harmony and give you a killer smile. Some insurance companies will even cover the procedure. Link to post Share on other sites
maynard Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 you have nice eyes, but i think you'd look a lot better if you lost some weight and dyed your hair dark, closer to your natural color. Also some accutane/proactiv for your skin. See a derm and they can give you a prescription. One other thing I noticed is it looks like you may have a skeletal bite problem...a vertically long lower jaw is often a telltale sign of this. Something looks off about your smile that I can't place. You might consider seeing a maxillofacial surgeon. They can take a ceph of your face and see if there are any skeletal abnormalities. If there are, orthognathic surgery to correct your bite would bring your face into better harmony and give you a killer smile. Some insurance companies will even cover the procedure.haha.....or just work on your personality flaws, where you are going in life and your game. you'll be happier trust me, even good looking guys have problems with women. thats not to toot my horn...quite the opposite my success with women came from working on those 3 things i mentioned, not anything i did with my looks Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 haha.....or just work on your personality flaws, where you are going in life and your game. you'll be happier True, but working on his appearance in fruitful ways will help his chances of success with women dramatically...believe me. I'm not saying he's unattractive, but there are several things about his appearance detracting that could be corrected (in some cases easily). I'm just trying to be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
maynard Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 True, but working on his appearance in fruitful ways will help his chances of success with women dramatically...believe me. I'm not saying he's unattractive, but there are several things about his appearance detracting that could be corrected (in some cases easily). I'm just trying to be honest.i wasnt trying to mock your post, its just that you have a laundry list of things to improve, lol i agree that one should want to look their best, but its good to keep in mind that working on those things may not do anything to help him with girls in any meaningful way Link to post Share on other sites
Sleek Geek Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 I understand the urge to overanalyze physical appearance. I do it too. I'm an average looking woman but I would have to answer true to your question. I've gained a lot of self-confidence over the years and attracting men has therefore become easier. People have even started calling me beautiful, that which they never did in drones before. So yeah, I think beauty is in your attitude. People are attracted to people who are happy and confortable with who they are. I really like your pictures. You are good looking. You have really great eyes and there seems to be a gentleness to you. Attraction for most people is a lot more about attitudes then it is about actual looks. You don't have to be Brad Pitt to meet a girl. Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 haha.....or just work on your personality flaws, where you are going in life and your game. you'll be happier trust me, even good looking guys have problems with women. thats not to toot my horn...quite the opposite my success with women came from working on those 3 things i mentioned, not anything i did with my looks There are certain appearance "flaws" that can detract in a way that actually makes somebody appear less confident. One is something like facial acne because it suggests the image of a geeky teen. Another is bad hair because it reflects a lack of social sense. Finally an misaligned bite/imperfect smile makes it hard to project confidence. It will be hard for him to appear confidence until he gets those things corrected. Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 JEEZ shadow play ! He's a kid, with braces ! he doesn't need to lose ANY weight, and i doubt he needs friggen surgery : you're making it out like he's quasimodo !! Poster, you're too young for my tastes, but you like a perfectly normal young man. As for your question, YES, confidence means SO much, with both men and woman. I have been attracted to average looking men with great cockiness, and charm. And when I was young enough to be "model perfect" I also lost out on a few guys to woman less pretty who were just so happy, fun and comfortable in their own skin. Act confident for long enough and eventually you will FEEL confident ! Good luck ! Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 JEEZ shadow play ! He's a kid, with braces ! he doesn't need to lose ANY weight, and i doubt he needs friggen surgery : you're making it out like he's quasimodo !! Poster, you're too young for my tastes, but you like a perfectly normal young man. As for your question, YES, confidence means SO much, with both men and woman. I have been attracted to average looking men with great cockiness, and charm. And when I was young enough to be "model perfect" I also lost out on a few guys to woman less pretty who were just so happy, fun and comfortable in their own skin. Act confident for long enough and eventually you will FEEL confident ! Good luck ! I believe appearance is something you have to work at to a degree. Everybody wants to look their best. I'm not telling him to rearrange his face, but just giving him realistic suggestions on how to look his best. If a guy is too lazy to lose weight, fix his hair and use a skin cream...then he has no reason to complain when he can't find a girl. Think of all the time women put into their appearance. The OP seems like a sweet guy and I'm not implying he would make any claims...but people act like appearance doesn't make a difference when it sadly does. You have to put some effort in if you want results. Link to post Share on other sites
woodsfield Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 haha.....or just work on your personality flaws, where you are going in life and your game. you'll be happier game or "tact" has everything to do with it. average looking and even ugly men can be attractive with cofidence and game. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RyTom21 Posted September 28, 2007 Author Share Posted September 28, 2007 A kid. I'm 23?. Your making it sound like im 17 or something. Ironically, quasimoto was one of the names that I was called when I was growing up. I was teased alot, thats a big part of why I worry so much about my looks. I should have phrased my question differently. I know im not hot or sexy, but am I at least cute, good looking, etc.... In other words, do you feel the urge to vomit when you look at my pictures. haha. Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 You seem like a good person with low self esteem. I think you would be nice looking if you corrected the things I mentioned. Right now they're too much of a distraction. There's my honest answer. Believe me, asking for reassurance won't make you feel any better. Just work on the things I mentioned along with your self confidence and you're guaranteed to see results. Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 Ok, sorry but he, you, look younger than 23, you have that look of a man not having grown into his features yet. Thats a GOOD thing, strong features on men are attractive, you just need more time to cook ! So, ok, maybe some clearisol and confidence will help, but in no way do I think he's overweight or needs jaw surgery. Link to post Share on other sites
soulseeker Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 Ry, dont do anything surgical to yourself. You are good looking, and it is obvious you will only get better with age. When I was a kid, I was teased. In fact, one guy told me he'd f*ck me if I put a bag over my head. Sheesh. Since I grew into my looks, 26ish, I cannot keep men away. I am not Angelina, but I beautiful. In fact, the last guy who had a crush on me, compared my beauty to the stars And my confidence I KNOW has helped in that regard as well. Sure, there are days, weeks even, that I am hard on myself and feel less than my best, but for the most part, I have done a good job of ditching my doubts. When I am in my low points, I DO get less attention from people in general. Proof to me that attitude matters. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 When are men going to learn??? Women are attracted to how men make them FEEL, not always how they LOOK. Looks do help attract a woman but it won't keep her around. Personality always, always trumps looks over the long haul. Concentrate on having a great personality (charming, funny, confident, etc) and you won't need to worry about your looks too much. Just have good personal hygiene and work out as much as you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Sleek Geek Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 When are men going to learn??? Women are attracted to how men make them FEEL, not always how they LOOK. Looks do help attract a woman but it won't keep her around. Personality always, always trumps looks over the long haul. Concentrate on having a great personality (charming, funny, confident, etc) and you won't need to worry about your looks too much. Just have good personal hygiene and work out as much as you can. very true. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 Just have good personal hygiene and work out as much as you can. This is very important. I would recommend you see a dermatologist or get some Proactive, Ryan, because the acne distracts a woman's attention away from your personality. Link to post Share on other sites
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