KingCrimson Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 I'm 21. Let me say first off, I've never been in a relationship, and am a virgin. She is also shy and a bit socially awkward, and just broke up with her boyfriend of 3-4 years a couple of months ago, which I think has been her only relationship ever. We didn't know each other till we first met 2-3 weeks ago. We checked out each other's myspace/facebooks, exchanged a few emails, texts, and AIM convos. Met last weekend, saw a movie, and then ate late night food at 1 AM (yea i know, how romantic). I thought it went pretty well and she definitely did seem nervous, but we have similar tastes and personalities, and she's real cute. I called her up and asked if she was free tomorrow, and she said sure to dinner (this time at a more classy place!) and hanging out. Now my questions: 1. What do we do while hanging out after?! She's not 21 yet, so going to a bar after dinner is out of the question. My usual weekend hanging out has consisted of getting drunk off massive amounts of beer with friends, and she's not that type of girl. neither of us are into dancing or clubbing... 2. I've heard some people tell me you need to make the move, like kissing her, soon otherwise she'll friend zone you. Others have said the opposite, they want a guy who'll wait. Well, which is it? How far should I take it on our 2nd date? Just proceed with having fun, being nice, and getting to know her? Or let her know clearly i'm interested by at least kissing/making out? 3. now that we've met once, i dont know whether to be nice and relaxed, or cocky and funny. 4. When/how, if at all, do I tell her I like her? Or ask her to be my GF? If things go really well this weekend, is it ok to bring it up then? Do I ask it before or after we get intimate? And how do I phrase it? "Hey, I like you. Will you be my girlfriend?" Sounds cheesy, pathetic, and desperate. yea, I'm a newbie. I'm just looking for any tips, ideas, and how far I should take it on our 2nd date. Link to post Share on other sites
sofakingmad Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 1. after dinner take her bowling or mini golf or something the two of you can do together. you don't need to get trashed to have a good time. 2. have fun, be nice, get to know her. if it went well, at the end of the night lean in and give her a peck on the lips. nothing more. say you had a great time and that you'll call her. 3. just be yourself. 4. no need to get into all that just yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KingCrimson Posted July 27, 2007 Author Share Posted July 27, 2007 oddly enough, it came up on the first date, and she's not into both bowling nor mini golf (and other things like clubbing, chick flicks, swimming, bike rides or rollerblading). but it's all good, cause neither do i like bowling or mini golf I had some ideas, like going to a local music show (we both like indie rock), but there are no good shows this weekend. i also would love to go wine tasting, drive 2 hours to the beach and go jet skiing or the boardwalk. but these excursions seem too intimate for a 2nd date... hell i'd be wary of going with any stranger in their car 2+ hours out of the city. Perhaps get a bottle of wine, and watch a movie she mentioned she really wanted to see on our 1st date? Then again I live with 2 other roomates the 1 thing different about us... i went to a major university away from home, was in a frat, partied a lot, so i've pretty much been living the college lifestyle on weekends. She drinks on occasion, doesn't get drunk, cause she stays at home and goes to a community college nearby. I'm bored/tired of my old lifestyle, however, want to settle down and find a relationship for once. This girl is also shy, smart, and awkward, which actually turns me on, but unlike any college girls I used to party or talk with. I guess I have been on dates before, but it involved calling a girl I met at a party or bar last weekend, to come drink with me and some friends, or come out to another party/bar with me.... and finding out they're 100% generic and have no personality. As for kissing, I've only done it when I was drunk, or the girl was clearly flirting with me(or tried to kiss me first). Never sober, and never with shy girls. So I'm worried about being awkward, or coming on too strong to her even though its the 2nd date. hahaha is it alright to grab her chin and *gently* rotate it as I kiss her? or just lean forward and aim for her lips? or slowly move towards her lips as we end our goodnight hug? tongue or no tongue? Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 I'm two years older than you (female), but you and the girl sound a lot like I was two years ago in terms of experience and personality type. I think it would be fine to kiss her on the second date. If you don't, do something to indicate you like her in that way by at least holding her hand or giving her a hug. By the third date, you should definitely kiss her or she'll wonder what's up. But don't be aggressive in the way you kiss her. Be very gentle and sweet. Don't ask her if she can be your girlfriend. I wouldn't bring that up for another good while, and when you do don't put it in those terms. Don't worry about that now, though. For the second date, some kind of activity is usually good. Wine tasting sounds cool to me or visiting an art exhibit if you have any interest in that. I wouldn't go jet skiing because she probably wouldn't be into that if she's shy unless she's very athletic. If you want to kiss her, start by just holding her hand, looking at her and smiling. If she seems responsive, then lean over and give her a gentle kiss (not just a peck, but no tongue). Then draw back, and make eye contact and lean in again for another kiss. You can do this a few times, but I wouldn't get into a full makeout session unless she seems really into it. Good luck and tell us how things go! You guys sound really cute. Link to post Share on other sites
gamervixen Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 You can never go wrong by being yourself - and I think the fact that you're concerned about planning a nice date for this girl shows that you're a great guy! If you guys are into music, maybe you can plan a shopping trip to a unique music store followed by a casual dinner? If she seems interested in a particular CD, buy it when she isn't looking and surprise her with it at dinner. I wouldn't worry too much about doing something after dinner. I think two to three hours is long enough for a second date - keep her wanting more. And at the end of the date give her a quick kiss and she will think you are quite the gentleman! This article actually has some good tips http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_top_ten_60/75_dating_list.html Good luck! Remember to be yourself, take things slow, and the relationship should fall into place naturally Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts