lostchia06 Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 Please Respond!!! So, my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now and I am having issues with his BF, a girl. When we first met everything was fine. He brought her to meet me and explained that they were really close especially since her dad had recently commited suicide. They would go out to lunch and dinner. I thought nothing of it since my BF is a guy and we do the same stuff. So as the summer ends they decide to move in together. Once of her best friends bailed on her at the last minute so she was desperate. I on the other hand end up still looking for an Apt and ask him, since I had basically been staying at his place anyway, if it would be a big deal if I stayed at his new place for a couple of weeks and told him that he needed to ask her, which he did, I was there when he did. The plan was I'd stay there for 2 weeks then stay with my best friend for 2 weeks. She agreed and said no problem. Sept 1st comes and I "move in", basically I had a suit case in his closet and between work an apt viewings i slept there. The first week I noticed my box of shoes and my new dress missing so he decides to ask her about it and she says she has no idea but I can check her room. I find the shoes in her closet (still in the box) and the dress at the bottom of a bag that also has purple paint in it from when she was painting her room. So yes I was a little upset and talked to my boyfriend and he tells me that it must have been an accident and not to make a big deal about it. So I don't. A few more days go by and all of a sudden she flips out on him about how I needed to leave their apt or she'd toss my stuff. This is day 10 or 11 by the way. So since there had been no negative interactions between us I had no idea what her deal was. To this day we have not talked to each other. But she makes snide comments about me to him. She even saw one of my best friend out and told him that my boyfriends life had been a mess since he met me. I basically chalk this all up to jealously and think that she just wants him to herself, but ended making such a mess of everything that now it makes everything awkward. We can't go to the same bars. I don't feel comfortable walking around the apartment. She's dating his friend who I also knew before and now when I see them he says hello, but it feels weird 'cause it's like crossing a boundary or something. And I feel like a bad person for not trying to fix this, but every time I think I want to make amends he tells me something else she decided to say and It makes me sooo MAD! Sorry for the length, but I need help! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 Yes, she is jealous. But not in the sense of 'wanting him' as a boyfriend, more like he is HER friend. She may look at it as you're taking him away from her, - Time wise and friendship wise. Honestly, she sounds like a real bitch! And, I bet she purposely moved your clothes to show you her little game...What you're up against if you plan on staying in "her" place. Your boyfriend needs to tell her to back off, and you just need to show her that you aren't falling into her little petty jealously game. Even if it bugs you, don't let her see that it does. Rise above it and act even NICER to her. Also, I would confront her on the backstabbing, let HER know that YOU are his girlfriend, not the otherway around. He also needs to STOP telling you what she is saying, as it's only making it worse. He needs to stand up to her, protect you and the relationship. Sorry you're in this situation, it sucks. Anyway, your boyfriend needs to grow a pair, and stand up to her, otherwise things are going to get worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostchia06 Posted July 16, 2007 Author Share Posted July 16, 2007 He says he's tried to talk to her, but he knows she a bitch. I don't even think that they are BFs because they like each other, but more because he feels bad for her since she leaned on him after the death of her father. One of the things I admired about him was that he would take her and her mom out to dinner and kinda try to be a support system. But, it seems like she blames me for taking him away, which I haven't. He become a manager at his job (yay, which means she was wrong about me ruining his life) and he's focusing more on getting his future together. I just need to find a way to get past the hurtful comments she's made and that's the hardest part. I don't want to look her in the face and talk to her because it was just so rude and hurtful and came out of no where. It's also hard for me to step up to the plate, because I feel like I have done nothing wrong. She made this all so intense by being so mean for no good reason. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 Then you can tell her, "I'm not taking him away from you, but he is MY boyfriend. IF you really cared for him as his bestfriend, you would only want to see him happy, not be such a jealous bitch and make problems between him and I." Or something like that. Don't let her intimidate you!! It seems he has been a good friend to her, but she hasn't really been a good friend to him. Another thing to point out to your boyfriend, and her as well. You love him and want this work, you're going to have to care less what she thinks and feels, and not let her bitchiness get to you. She isn't worth getting upset over. Another thing is, her pain and jealously is selfish and all about her. She honestly couldn't care less about anyone else, her words and actions prove this. Hopefully in time your boyfriend will see her for who she really is and not let guilt be the reason why they're still friends. Hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
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