Did we kiss too soon? When is too soon?

[shadowplay]

So I started this thread a few days back.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t124347/

 

Good news is he was definitely interested and I went on a second date with him tonight. We went to a movie and then had dinner and drove around for awhile. It was less awkward than the first date but there was still some conversational awkwardness, at least initially. But eventually after a walk through a park we ended up at his car and there was like this really awkward moment where we were both sitting there and thinking 'are we going to kiss?' I kind of laughed because of the nervous tension and he said 'can i kiss you?' We ended up making out, but no real touching below the neck, aside from him stroking my legs a bit. I really enjoyed the kissing and he even stopped midway to say "you're a really good kisser," but now I'm freaking out that we got physical too fast. What do you guys think? See the thing is we kind of got stopped in the middle because his car started beeping, and that's when we decided to drive back. So I'm worried he thinks I would have gone all the way if we hadn't stopped. Also I'm very shy in general, but for some reason my extraverted side comes out when I'm being physical with a guy. I feel completely at ease and don't act very timid. I'm worried he'll be like wtf, why is she so quiet usually and then act totally different when she's making out? And I know from all I've read here how guys will drop a girl when she shows herself to be easy. I'm not easy but I'm worried he'll assume that. He seemed kind of nervous in our convo on the way back, but one sweet thing he did is reach over and kiss me twice when there was a red light. It was really cute. Then he kept rooting for red lights. When he dropped me off at my house we kissed briefly again and then he said he had a great time and would be back from NY on Thursday (he's filming a movie this week).

 

What do you guys think? Did I send him the wrong message? The weird thing is it's like we still haven't completely broken the ice in conversation but we have physically. Is that bad? I guess I'm worried that it's a bad idea to be at all physical with somebody when you still haven't broken the ice completely, even if it's just kissing. Man, I feel really bad about this now. I just like kissing so much. I'm a slave to my hormones.

 

I really like him and I don't want to screw things up.

[shadowplay]

Just wanted to add one thing that concerns me. He's very extroverted and has a ton of friends, and even referred to himself as extroverted tonight. I'm the complete opposite. Very shy and I only have a few close friends. I think my shyness is pretty obvious to him by the way I relate. I'm worried that as an extroverted guy, he won't/doesn't like the fact that I'm shy. I always see extroverted people together, but rarely do I see a couple where one is shy and the other extroverted. The thing is part of the reason I'm so attracted to him is because he's so different from me in that way.

[Reckless]

A kiss on the second date is fine; making out on a second date puts you on the fast track to 'early' sex since these things tend to exelerate pretty quickly. This of course would be fine if you are comfortable with that but something tells me that if you hit the sheets within 4 dates you will be back at loveshack agonizing and beating yourself up about it.

 

There are no 'rules' about these things but you have to but the brakes on sexually if emotionally you need things slower.

 

Step back a little, make the goodnight kiss a little less like a make-out session (yeah he'll be like 'huh?!' since he is already calculating how he can move through the bases) and get closer emotionally until you feel comfortable with moving on. If he gets frustrated explain you were uncomfortable with how quickly you got phyiscal and that, even though you enjoyed it, you don't feel ready for more right now. If he's a good guy he'll respect that.

 

It won't kill him to have to wait a little and it won't kill you to exercise a little restraint.

 

Reckless

 

ps. When is "too soon"? "too soon" is when you regret what you did the next day.

[shadowplay]

Just an update. He imed me the next day after our date (which was yesterday. Our date was Saturday). He was in a rush because he was about to leave for NY but said he just wanted to let me know he "enjoyed my company last night" and he apologized for his car beeping constantly. He said he would be having it fixed this week so we might have to resort to public transportation for our next date, and back to driving from then on. He said he would call me from the bus that night if I wanted to talk more.

 

Maybe I'm being paranoid but do you think "enjoyed your comapny" is an odd thing to say considering we made out? Most people would say "had a great time" or whatever. Then again he seems rather stiff/formal at times in his speaking manner, especially online, so maybe that's just his way.

[T-town]

 

Maybe I'm being paranoid but do you think "enjoyed your comapny" is an odd thing to say considering we made out?

 

I think you are being paranoid...enjoyed your company = i had a good time. Remember he is prolly just as nervous and confused as you...he has no idea how you feel about him. That is prolly just the way he is.

 

The girl i am dating now, txts much different than my last gf. Sounds stupid but my last gf ended everything with a hundred ! and always put a smiley face at the end of her sentences...and i knew if she didn't something was wrong. The girl i am dating now doesn't do that at all, pretty much the exact opposite. At first i was a little put off cause i was so used to the other but after dating for awhile i realized that that her. I know kind of stupid but ur story kind of reminded me of this.

[shadowplay]

I think you are being paranoid...enjoyed your company = i had a good time. Remember he is prolly just as nervous and confused as you...he has no idea how you feel about him. That is prolly just the way he is.

 

The girl i am dating now, txts much different than my last gf. Sounds stupid but my last gf ended everything with a hundred ! and always put a smiley face at the end of her sentences...and i knew if she didn't something was wrong. The girl i am dating now doesn't do that at all, pretty much the exact opposite. At first i was a little put off cause i was so used to the other but after dating for awhile i realized that that her. I know kind of stupid but ur story kind of reminded me of this.

 

Thanks for the input. I think you're probably right. Sometimes I feel like I'm just looking for things to worry about if things are going well. But it's frustrating, I know how you feel. He seems like the kind of person who is pretty reserved in his language. I guess actions speak louder than words, though. You can usually tell just by body language, etc. whether a person likes you or not.